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cryingontheinside
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Default Jan 03, 2019 at 07:27 AM
  #1
Is this stuff related to my bpd and depression or is it because I'm a bad lazy piece of **** ?

I have insomnia
I have no energy
I can barely function ie self care or doing anything productive
I am impulsive with spending
I have agoraphobia and social phobia
These random thoughts pop into my head telling me bad things . usually telling me bad things about myself and sometomes telling me to hurt people ( don't judge me , these are not thoughts i choose or listen to or want going round in my head )
I constantly worry and analyze everything to the point of paranoia
Sometimes i snap and the people i love the most which follows by immense guilt and self hatred and then i apologize
Does any of this sound familiar or make any sense to anyone ? Does it sound like bpd?
Im confused . i have no self asteem .
Nobody likes me and im alone and isolated .
This is not a life worth living . i often feel suicidal . i have self harmed but not recently
Im scared of confrontations
I think i know what people are tginking about me
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Default Jan 04, 2019 at 12:16 AM
  #2
Sounds just like me. From what I've learnt about BPD and depression I would say yes they are probably responsible for all these symptoms you describe. I understand, it's a horrible way to feel. Wishing you better days ahead. (((Hugs)))
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Default Jan 04, 2019 at 12:49 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
Is this stuff related to my bpd and depression or is it because I'm a bad lazy piece of **** ?

I have insomnia
I have no energy
I can barely function ie self care or doing anything productive
I am impulsive with spending
I have agoraphobia and social phobia
These random thoughts pop into my head telling me bad things . usually telling me bad things about myself and sometomes telling me to hurt people ( don't judge me , these are not thoughts i choose or listen to or want going round in my head )
I constantly worry and analyze everything to the point of paranoia
Sometimes i snap and the people i love the most which follows by immense guilt and self hatred and then i apologize
Does any of this sound familiar or make any sense to anyone ? Does it sound like bpd?
Im confused . i have no self asteem .
Nobody likes me and im alone and isolated .
This is not a life worth living . i often feel suicidal . i have self harmed but not recently
Im scared of confrontations
I think i know what people are tginking about me
Sounds very much like bipolar to me. Have you been evaluated?
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Heart Jan 04, 2019 at 03:11 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
Is this stuff related to my bpd and depression or is it because I'm a bad lazy piece of **** ?

I have insomnia
I have no energy
I can barely function ie self care or doing anything productive
I am impulsive with spending
I have agoraphobia and social phobia
These random thoughts pop into my head telling me bad things . usually telling me bad things about myself and sometomes telling me to hurt people ( don't judge me , these are not thoughts i choose or listen to or want going round in my head )
I constantly worry and analyze everything to the point of paranoia
Sometimes i snap and the people i love the most which follows by immense guilt and self hatred and then i apologize
Does any of this sound familiar or make any sense to anyone ? Does it sound like bpd?
Im confused . i have no self asteem .
Nobody likes me and im alone and isolated .
This is not a life worth living . i often feel suicidal . i have self harmed but not recently
Im scared of confrontations
I think i know what people are tginking about me
___

That all sounds so familiar...I think that sounds very much like BPD.

I understand and feel these intrusive thoughts and feelings almost all the time.

Have you tried therapy before? DBT and Schema Therapy are effective therapies for the things that you've mentioned.

What are your thoughts about being diagnosed by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist?

I haven't been officially diagnosed but I have traits of BPD and may possibly have BPD. I'm in Schema Therapy now for a little over two months but on a month and a half long break now due to my therapist needing a much needed break.

Check this out when you've got some time. Or just try looking up Schema Therapy if this website isn't conclusive enough.

anyway, here it is: Schema Theory

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Default Jan 06, 2019 at 10:36 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by skiguy18 View Post
Sounds very much like bipolar to me. Have you been evaluated?
I was told i had bpd but sometimes im not sure if its the right diagnosis or maybe it is but i might have additional mental health problems which haven't been diagnosed yet .
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Default Jan 06, 2019 at 10:37 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
___


That all sounds so familiar...I think that sounds very much like BPD.


I understand and feel these intrusive thoughts and feelings almost all the time.


Have you tried therapy before? DBT and Schema Therapy are effective therapies for the things that you've mentioned.


What are your thoughts about being diagnosed by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist?


I haven't been officially diagnosed but I have traits of BPD and may possibly have BPD. I'm in Schema Therapy now for a little over two months but on a month and a half long break now due to my therapist needing a much needed break.


Check this out when you've got some time. Or just try looking up Schema Therapy if this website isn't conclusive enough.


anyway, here it is: Schema Theory
I was officially diagnosed with bpd . im waiting to get therapy but my agaraphobia is an issue
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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 09:56 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I was officially diagnosed with bpd . im waiting to get therapy but my agaraphobia is an issue
I found a therapist online because mental health professionals are basically almost non existent to be entirely honest.

So maybe that's an option for you to consider in the future.

My therapist lives in the UK. and i've found several others that do online therapy who specialize in DBT and/or Schema Therapy. Some are quite expensive and some are average. Some therapists charge 180-200 pounds an hour its insane.. It makes one think about the poor and underprivileged in our society and their chances with improvement. F****** sad.

But yeah.. I hope you can get some relief and some progress. All the best to you. And let me know if you want some pointers or some contacts.


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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 09:57 AM
  #8
*None existent in my country / region

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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 10:00 AM
  #9
You are not a bad lazy piece of ****.



Having no energy or motivation can be symptoms of depression.

I agree that agoraphobia is a separate diagnosis.

The other symptoms strike me as consistent with borderline pd.

Were you diagnosed bipolar or borderline?

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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  #10
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Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
I found a therapist online because mental health professionals are basically almost non existent to be entirely honest.


So maybe that's an option for you to consider in the future.


My therapist lives in the UK. and i've found several others that do online therapy who specialize in DBT and/or Schema Therapy. Some are quite expensive and some are average. Some therapists charge 180-200 pounds an hour its insane.. It makes one think about the poor and underprivileged in our society and their chances with improvement. F****** sad.


But yeah.. I hope you can get some relief and some progress. All the best to you. And let me know if you want some pointers or some contacts.


What is schema ? Sounds good but i don't think i can afford it sadly .
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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 10:54 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
You are not a bad lazy piece of ****.





Having no energy or motivation can be symptoms of depression.


I agree that agoraphobia is a separate diagnosis.


The other symptoms strike me as consistent with borderline pd.


Were you diagnosed bipolar or borderline?


I was diagnosed with borderline plus depression and agaraphobia .
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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 11:51 AM
  #12
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I was told i had bpd but sometimes im not sure if its the right diagnosis or maybe it is but i might have additional mental health problems which haven't been diagnosed yet .
Comorbidity is pretty frequent from what I heard from experts. For example, PTST is quite often found together with bpd.

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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 11:42 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
What is schema ? Sounds good but i don't think i can afford it sadly .
Its a type of therapy that blends different methods, CBT and bit of psychoanalysis theories (but very lightly) and Gestalt amongst others. In a nut shell, all people learn to experience life through some sort of blueprint or recipe called Schema. These models or Schemas become automatic and get triggered all the time. Some have healthy schemas and they get triggered positively and some learn maladaptive schemeas and get triggered negatively.

Those with maladaptive Schemas are almost boxed in and sadly end up perceiving life through a specific lens, or different lenses simultaneously such as: operating from a defectiveness state of mind or dependent state of mind or a sense of fear of being abandoned or ummm mistrust of others intentions etc. There are 18 Schemas and often people have several maladaptive schemas functioning at once. There are other layers to it as well and it has been developed further, i could keep writing much more but i feel like i will end up writing a college essay haha!

Do look up the link i've sent you in a previous post it is somewhat digested.

This is the introductory book by the psychologist who created this therapy model. It is the older version though without the newer models and layers introduced to it.

https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Y.../dp/0452272041

This is the updated model. Schema Therapy : Jeffrey Young : 9780415462990

It's all so fascinating.

You could look up some therapists online that would charge less and possibly be affordable for you?

Do let me know if you want some help looking.

You did say that you are starting therapy though right? What type is it? and Is it your first round at therapy? or have you done it before?

"hugs"

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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 11:47 AM
  #14
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Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
Its a type of therapy that blends different methods, CBT and bit of psychoanalysis theories (but very lightly) and Gestalt amongst others. In a nut shell, all people learn to experience life through some sort of blueprint or recipe called Schema. These models or Schemas become automatic and get triggered all the time. Some have healthy schemas and they get triggered positively and some learn maladaptive schemeas and get triggered negatively.


Those with maladaptive Schemas are almost boxed in and sadly end up perceiving life through a specific lens, or different lenses simultaneously such as: operating from a defectiveness state of mind or dependent state of mind or a sense of fear of being abandoned or ummm mistrust of others intentions etc. There are 18 Schemas and often people have several maladaptive schemas functioning at once. There are other layers to it as well and it has been developed further, i could keep writing much more but i feel like i will end up writing a college essay haha!


Do look up the link i've sent you in a previous post it is somewhat digested.


This is the introductory book by the psychologist who created this therapy model. It is the older version though without the newer models and layers introduced to it.


https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Y.../dp/0452272041


This is the updated model. Schema Therapy : Jeffrey Young : 9780415462990


It's all so fascinating.


You could look up some therapists online that would charge less and possibly be affordable for you?


Do let me know if you want some help looking.


You did say that you are starting therapy though right? What type is it? and Is it your first round at therapy? or have you done it before?


"hugs"
Thank you for explaining and for the link .
I haven't properly had therapy before because of my agaraphobia .
The therapy they want me to go to is group dbt but I'm not even on the waiting list yet . i will try to look up online therapy today but don't think i can afford it though . thank you for the help and support
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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 02:00 PM
  #15
Thank you. This is interesting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
Its a type of therapy that blends different methods, CBT and bit of psychoanalysis theories (but very lightly) and Gestalt amongst others. In a nut shell, all people learn to experience life through some sort of blueprint or recipe called Schema. These models or Schemas become automatic and get triggered all the time. Some have healthy schemas and they get triggered positively and some learn maladaptive schemeas and get triggered negatively.

Those with maladaptive Schemas are almost boxed in and sadly end up perceiving life through a specific lens, or different lenses simultaneously such as: operating from a defectiveness state of mind or dependent state of mind or a sense of fear of being abandoned or ummm mistrust of others intentions etc. There are 18 Schemas and often people have several maladaptive schemas functioning at once. There are other layers to it as well and it has been developed further, i could keep writing much more but i feel like i will end up writing a college essay haha!

Do look up the link i've sent you in a previous post it is somewhat digested.

This is the introductory book by the psychologist who created this therapy model. It is the older version though without the newer models and layers introduced to it.

https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Y.../dp/0452272041

This is the updated model. Schema Therapy : Jeffrey Young : 9780415462990

It's all so fascinating.

You could look up some therapists online that would charge less and possibly be affordable for you?

Do let me know if you want some help looking.

You did say that you are starting therapy though right? What type is it? and Is it your first round at therapy? or have you done it before?

"hugs"
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Default Jan 10, 2019 at 12:19 PM
  #16
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
Thank you for explaining and for the link .
I haven't properly had therapy before because of my agaraphobia .
The therapy they want me to go to is group dbt but I'm not even on the waiting list yet . i will try to look up online therapy today but don't think i can afford it though . thank you for the help and support
So sorry to hear that. Agoraphobia is tough. Do try as best as you can to go to the dbt group therapy session once you get called in.

Are there any other programs or assistance service that you can part be a part of? Is the dbt group service thing through public health care?

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Default Jan 10, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
So sorry to hear that. Agoraphobia is tough. Do try as best as you can to go to the dbt group therapy session once you get called in.


Are there any other programs or assistance service that you can part be a part of? Is the dbt group service thing through public health care?
I don't know if there is any other services for me . I'm under a mental health team . i have a care coordinator but she hardly ever visits or calls me . its her who is arranging the dbt and the government pays for it . personally i think i need a private therapist and i would also like hypnotherapy as i tried that once years ago and it helped . ubfortunately money is an issue
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Default Jan 10, 2019 at 12:25 PM
  #18


Quote:
Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
Its a type of therapy that blends different methods, CBT and bit of psychoanalysis theories (but very lightly) and Gestalt amongst others. In a nut shell, all people learn to experience life through some sort of blueprint or recipe called Schema. These models or Schemas become automatic and get triggered all the time. Some have healthy schemas and they get triggered positively and some learn maladaptive schemeas and get triggered negatively.

Those with maladaptive Schemas are almost boxed in and sadly end up perceiving life through a specific lens, or different lenses simultaneously such as: operating from a defectiveness state of mind or dependent state of mind or a sense of fear of being abandoned or ummm mistrust of others intentions etc. There are 18 Schemas and often people have several maladaptive schemas functioning at once. There are other layers to it as well and it has been developed further, i could keep writing much more but i feel like i will end up writing a college essay haha!

Do look up the link i've sent you in a previous post it is somewhat digested.

This is the introductory book by the psychologist who created this therapy model. It is the older version though without the newer models and layers introduced to it.

https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Y.../dp/0452272041

This is the updated model. Schema Therapy : Jeffrey Young : 9780415462990

It's all so fascinating.

You could look up some therapists online that would charge less and possibly be affordable for you?

Do let me know if you want some help looking.

You did say that you are starting therapy though right? What type is it? and Is it your first round at therapy? or have you done it before?

"hugs"

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Default Jan 10, 2019 at 12:45 PM
  #19
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I don't know if there is any other services for me . I'm under a mental health team . i have a care coordinator but she hardly ever visits or calls me . its her who is arranging the dbt and the government pays for it . personally i think i need a private therapist and i would also like hypnotherapy as i tried that once years ago and it helped . ubfortunately money is an issue
I'd love to try hypnotherapy too just to test it out.

Could you try and calling care coordinator and having a chat with her? You could ask her if there is something else that you could participate in for the time being? I understand that it feels crappy if she's not calling or contacting but you could try and reach out instead and ask her about some temporary options or something that she can maybe suggest?

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Default Jan 10, 2019 at 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by BWBorealis View Post
I'd love to try hypnotherapy too just to test it out.


Could you try and calling care coordinator and having a chat with her? You could ask her if there is something else that you could participate in for the time being? I understand that it feels crappy if she's not calling or contacting but you could try and reach out instead and ask her about some temporary options or something that she can maybe suggest?
That's a good idea , i will contact her tomorrow .
Thank you for being so supportive !!
As for the hypnotherapy it was amazing in my experience . it was a long time ago before i was diagnosed . i kept going to the doctors telling them i was depressed and they said i was wasting their time .
I didnt know what else to do . i dont know where i got the idea to try hypnotherapy but im glad i did . i told the man about my low self asteem and feeling depressed and that i got bullied at work but i wasn't quite sure why . the hypnotherapy worked amazingly on me . i think i went very deep into it ( not sure if its the same with everyone or would have the same affect . ) i felt so calm afterwards , a constant calm , it was a feeling i hadn't experienced before or remembered feeling because i was constantly on edge . this calmness stayed with me for about a year and that was after having only one session . i was given a tape of the session and told to listen to it every night but i lost it . it probably would have been more affective if i listened to the tape or if i went again a few more times .
So I'm very interested in it. he was amazing though , i don't know if they are all as good him though . im going to try it again , hopefully find someone who is willing to come to my house . if they are not as good as him and its not successful i will be dissaopointed but at least i would have tried .
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