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Anonymous32451
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Trig Jan 14, 2019 at 11:13 AM
  #1
recently my best friend amelia moved away with her family to move on with her life. I knew her for only 6 months, but she knew loads about me- and I was really close to her (somedays talking to her was just as good as talking on this forum)

anyway, after she left (it was on a friday), I felt real intense abandonment- not just by her, but by other people who I knew- I told them that I miss amelia, and they just had no psympathy for me at all. the best response I got was a "oh."

next day I asked someone if they would still be their for me, and they said yes, but not meaningful or anything- and then afterwards promptly forgot about me

at the moment I feel I have no one- no one at all. I sit in my room and cry and believe I'm second nature to anything else, and anyone else

on top of that I can't get past the fact amelia left, and most nights I hear her voice in my head, speaking calmly and friendly, but it feels so taunting at the same time.. like I just want her here and I want to hug her and be with her- but her voice is making me think of her and making me cry

it's even worse than when beth died, a lot worse, which is stupid and makes no sense seeing as amelia is alive
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luvyrself
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Default Jan 15, 2019 at 01:10 AM
  #2
When we have a loss we have to work thru it, eg grieve it. There are 5 stages of grief and this takes time. My therapist often mentions that borderlines have a particularly rough time with situations that feel like abandonment. So yr going to need to be very kind to yrself in order to heal. Pamper yrself w feel good experiences and things u don’t usually treat yrself to. I couldn’t believe how great even a really good facial feels, or a massage or a mani pedi. Do some regular vigorous exercise. If one friend doesn’t listen, try other people. You’ll get thru this. You have wonderful times ahead w other friends once u heal.
My friend is going back to Iraq on Monday. He has a dangerous job there. He already has ptsd. He is grumpy and terse. I can’t let my own fear and pain ruin our friendship by overreacting to everything.

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Default Jan 15, 2019 at 03:10 PM
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I’m sorry you’re feeling sad and I know how hard it is to lose a friend. Are you and Amelia still in touch? Will you be able to talk on the phone at least?
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Default Jan 16, 2019 at 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
When we have a loss we have to work thru it, eg grieve it. There are 5 stages of grief and this takes time. My therapist often mentions that borderlines have a particularly rough time with situations that feel like abandonment. So yr going to need to be very kind to yrself in order to heal. Pamper yrself w feel good experiences and things u don’t usually treat yrself to. I couldn’t believe how great even a really good facial feels, or a massage or a mani pedi. Do some regular vigorous exercise. If one friend doesn’t listen, try other people. You’ll get thru this. You have wonderful times ahead w other friends once u heal.
My friend is going back to Iraq on Monday. He has a dangerous job there. He already has ptsd. He is grumpy and terse. I can’t let my own fear and pain ruin our friendship by overreacting to everything.


thanks for the words of encouragement

I hope your friend is okay too (the one going back to iraq)
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Default Jan 16, 2019 at 05:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
I’m sorry you’re feeling sad and I know how hard it is to lose a friend. Are you and Amelia still in touch? Will you be able to talk on the phone at least?


she emailed me a couple times after she left, but not anymore

I think she feels the same way in that she feels bad for moving on, but has to get on with things and her life
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Default Jan 16, 2019 at 07:46 AM
  #6
Is she not willing to remain friends even though she moved?

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