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Old 01-19-2019, 09:43 AM #1
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Default How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

I have been finding hard to see if I display this criterium that is in the end the core of bpd, according to many experts.
How and which do you recognised in?
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Old 01-20-2019, 10:57 AM #2
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
I have been finding hard to see if I display this criterium that is in the end the core of bpd, according to many experts.
How and which do you recognised in?

My god! My apologies bc I didnít express myself well in the title. The truth is that my head has been spinning this topic for quite a while and I have lots of doubts about it so, I neither got to express myself well.

I didnít want to say ę poor or lack of self Ľ, instead: Poor, lack or diffusion SENSE of self.
Sorry again.
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Old 01-21-2019, 11:49 AM #3
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Seems like i cant describe myself
or know what i want, like, dislike


favorites? I dont know any favorites of mine
nothing is ever the same


to feel good about myself
and in turn feel bad about myself over the same things


feel unreal or nonexistent, inhuman
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Old 01-21-2019, 12:55 PM #4
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Thank you very much for your insight and your bravery.
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Old 01-21-2019, 12:56 PM #5
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

If you suddenly love a movie or band because someone you like expresses their admiration for them.... And you're not sure if this person just tuned you into something great that you were missing out on, or if you love this new thing just because the other person does.

I think it manifests most in ways like this, that your preferences or passions keep changing all the time and are conflicting. If your values change like one month you hate drug abusers and think they're worthless but then you meet a guy you like who happens to use drugs and your values completely change. Or if you're a Christian and then meet a new best friend who is an atheist and you stop going to church. Those would be signs of a lack of a sense of self.

In most people, their identity is fairly stable over time once they've passed adolescence. In those of us with BPD, it can shift suddenly for reasons we don't quite understand and we might not even notice the shifts or see them as contradictory.
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Old 01-21-2019, 01:05 PM #6
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

I see. It sounds like a person with bpd mainly have the need to be accepted and be appreciate by others, no matter what they have to change. Itís like a sacrifice they did denying their own self-worth.

Thank you very much. Thank you for being so brave.

I display a little of all that have been said by elevated soul and you. What I donít know is up to what point is normal or is a disorder.
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Old 01-21-2019, 01:58 PM #7
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post



I display a little of all that have been said by elevated soul and you. What I donít know is up to what point is normal or is a disorder.
I think it depends on your age and developmental level. If you're 19 or 20, some of this is normal because you're still trying out identities and deciding what fits for you. If you're 36 and it's still happening frequently, then it's definitely a feature of BPD.

Also consider how distressing this is to you, and how it impacts your relationships with others. If it doesn't bother you, and it doesn't bug anybody else, then don't worry about it. But if other people are commenting on it, or if it bothers you, it might be a feature of BPD.
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Old 01-21-2019, 05:31 PM #8
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Thanks a lot!



Definitely, Iím not a teenager. Although, I consider myself at the same level of maturity. Lol!
Iím a very easily influenced person. I have my likes, preferences and values but sometimes, when I want to connect, I put a great effort to find common points and areas to share with this that I consider a especial person.
Sometimes, Iím too much flexible, in my opinion. I doubt about everything.

The worst part is social phobia and depression as a product of not liking myself and putting others before me.

Last edited by AzulOscuro; 01-21-2019 at 05:46 PM.
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Old 01-22-2019, 04:25 PM #9
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Im 29


the one thing that doesnt change is my desire for stability, independence, financial security, my own house, intelligent friends rather than the simple minded


To me all those things feel like one, feels like only way to achieve those things i have to find myself.. but i dont know where i am or how to?
Creates a disturbing sense of doom... but i have nothing else to do with my time, so may as well humor the dreams
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Old 01-22-2019, 09:32 PM #10
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Default Re: How would you describe the poor or lack of self?

Mostly - it's like you identify who you are through someone or something else.

ie someone I care about is sad - therefore I must be sad too

Or

This movie is funny therefore I must be happy and laugh

Or to the more extreme
Someone says "My dad just went to the football game and got in an accident on the way home, I need to go to the hospital." - Therefore - "Wow! Do you need me to drive you there? I know what that's like, how stressful it can be. I hope your Dad is ok. Please let me know if he's ok."

(You take on the emotion and/or imagine yourself in the circumstance of the other person in order to identify yourself and your emotions.)

At least that's the best I can describe it
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