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misfit77
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Default Mar 06, 2019 at 02:16 PM
  #1
I’ve come a long with with all the BPD stuff. What lead me to finally get diagnosed was my crappy relationship. I’m no longer on medication and I’ve had three kids. My twins were born a few months ago and my relationship with my husband has been horrible since. He’s emotionally abusive. I do not have Post-Partun Depression. It’s all him and his bS. He nitpicks everything I do. I get three hours sleep half the time and he doesn’t care. He’s always rushing me and criticizing me and I’m sick of it. Now we’ve gotten in yet another fight and he’s being Mr Taking the high road and basically shutting me off.

What I need help with is honestly containing my rage right now. I put this in the BPD forums because it belongs here and not in the relationship one. This is BPD. I’m so angry right now. I hate him right now. And I don’t know how to contain my rage. I’m home alone with my babies (they are safe, I’d never hurt them-I am just so angry and I don’t know how to deal with it). I used to self harm and it’s making me want to do that again and I don’t want to do it. My kids deaerve a mom who doesn’t hurt herself.

Pleas someone help me.

Last edited by FooZe; Mar 07, 2019 at 03:45 AM.. Reason: no longer a duplicate
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luvyrself
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Default Mar 06, 2019 at 10:07 PM
  #2
Hope you can get some couples counseling. An extra benefit of that is that it will give you time away from the kids, as much as you love them. You MUST get some me time for yourself alone. he’s overwhelmed too, most likely. Get a babysitter. If you have one,get someone as backup. Get some rest. You cant be a good mom without it. Now Ill let the bpd folks take over here.

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Default Mar 06, 2019 at 10:45 PM
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I think you need your own one on one therapy to help you deal with your anger. You can't figure things out or solve any problems if you are that angry.

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Default Mar 07, 2019 at 07:46 AM
  #4
Couples counseling is usually not a good idea when one is an abuser; the abuser has to get therapy by himself for his anger issues. I understand your rage; counseling for yourself would perhaps be helpful. I am so sorry you are in this situation; this is verbal abuse. It affects your immune system.The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my live after 31 years of verbal abuse. Abusers are angry and take it out on others....it has nothing to do with who you are. Something that helps is to stop responding to the abuse...abusers are emotional vampires; they need you to continually explain yourself.

He can't fight with you, if you don't respond....walk away; go into another room. He will probably follow you and continue the abuse; you can set your boundaries, and refuse to listen to, or respond to his abuse....he will get angrier, because ne NEEDS you to respond
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Default Mar 07, 2019 at 07:47 AM
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For the anger issues, have you tried DBT? I don't think I can say anything about your marriage, as I have never had a serious relationship.
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TishaBuv
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Default Mar 07, 2019 at 12:06 PM
  #6
Are you feeling better today?

I’ve been struggling with similar issues. You are not alone.

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misfit77
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Default Mar 08, 2019 at 11:09 AM
  #7
I feel a little better today. Thank you for your replies. If it wasn’t for this particular relationship I’d wonder sometimes if I even have BPD.

I hate that I even wrote I hate him. I don’t obviously but he pushes my buttons and I go to that extreme which I know is BPD. I feel like I have managed to overcome so much. I wa depressed for like 20 years, did DBT, had my first child and though I have my moments I have gotten through things. The postpartum time after my twins has been very hard but I really have been doing well considering. I guess it’s that typical BPD thing...I feel like he doesn’t love me. When we fight it feels like the end of the world and I find I go towards anger. It’s not destructive though and I know I’d never harm anyone but it feels horrible and I need help dealing with it. Couples fight...why does it destroy me?
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Default Mar 12, 2019 at 12:32 PM
  #8
i am the same way... every time my partner gets the slightest bit aggravated at me im mentally preparing for this being the time he leaves. i blow everything out of proportion. im afraid everything is the end of the world. its exhausting.
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