New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back! - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-06-2019, 04:03 AM #1
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Default New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

Man! Cant take this DBT group any longer!

I'm nearly finished 4 more weeks. I really dont want to finish it. I will explain why. I had other complaints about this DBT group in the past.
So, in this example we have a new therapist in the group for about 3 weeks so far. Before was just a socail worker who was trained in DBT. The group kinda well people stopped showing regularly or to do there home work.
This was after the Christmas break we had. When I went back I got worse, what happened was the first week this guy in our group we will name him Fred he did not cover up his self harm marks and this other girl didnt either. That really triggered me.
Following week Fred had an episode of hearing people in the room next to our room. Which yes there were people talking there but he freaked out.
That disrupted the class. I didnt felt safe. Found it hard to explain to this one girl in my DBT group at break about this cold tea you could buy at the supermarket.
Then following week I didnt went. After that week I show up no one came accept for me.
Then well the week after that few people show one and one of the girls well she just kept talking and talking and you could not have breather or space to ask a question.

Random off note what happened in that group during when that one client was talking a lot.
The other client wasnt paying attention I think they were looking a there phone because they looked down and there hands were under the table. Just observing what I saw. Then the new therapist click her figures at the client face to make her pay attention.

I told this to my individual therapist she wondered if the new therapist client was the client in the group who the new therapist click her fingers at. That maybe it's there realtionship. I'm thinking that just lost of nonsense I should never like it if someone did that to me let a lone a therapist.

After that week just last week I did my home work and I was the only one that did my home work and it was about naming a emotion you had and what was your feelings and thoughts on it. So I did and the new therapist told me how my first emotion be anger not shame which I wrote down. That my first emotion be anger not shame. How Shame would come later and you could tell by the thoughts I had. I then said but isnt anger a secondary emotion from shame,guilt,sadness and grief."? (This is what I've been told by my individual therapist. I was getting the core to my emotion not the surface. Because she told me how anger is to protect ha not to feel shame or grief, sadness or guilt. So I try to get the core of the actually emotion.. ) so I was left so confused. The new therapist was just going on about how I turn anger to tears and then it be turn to shame. How I told her because what I wrote on my home work I felt like I was being told what to do in the event that cause me shame and how that reminded me how my mum told.me.what to do and I had teacher aid at school cause I struggle to learn. I was always corrected and I never learnt to trust myself. So anyway, she laugh and pointed "Oh I beat you feel corrected because I told you felt anger not shame"
I felt so gaslighted.
It affected me the whole weekend I didnt know if I should trust my emotions or not cause a lot of turmoil.

So I rang my individual therapist they told me because I have a letter to my key worker to give to my therapist how I felt about this, because it saves time explaining it on my actual therapy session. Anyway, I show my home work in the letter and what happened as I explained above so when I rang her she said I want taught wrong and how some therapist have didnt interpretations. How some times therapist can be wrong. I was right in my home worl and that no one can tell me how I should feel, because I experienced the event. I thought oh yeah that's a vaild point. But I told my therapist I dont want to go back. She said I should to practice the skills if I dont I will avoid.

But I feel very disheartened it. I been doing therapy for 3 years, 2 years was with a incompetent student therapist that I got whole lot worse and it took a year for my current therapist to fix the damage what my pervious student therapist did. So when stuff like this keeps happening in therapy just disheartened me and I really dont trust this new therapist from what I have experience and I feel a lot of fear too.

I will just say on a off note. We have had 4 changed therapist in the DBT group since I been there for year and a half.
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:23 AM #2
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Default Re: New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

I usually dont go back, when I dont want to go back with things. The revolving door of therapists in the DBT group is at fault, for sure. If finishing the last four weeks does you any good at all, then Id say go ahead and finish these last few weeks. You can also keep reading the DBT Handbook to yourself, too, to reinforce. Does the DBT help you?
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:32 AM #3
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Default Re: New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

Maybe doing the DBT on your own or with your individual therapist would be more helpful to you.
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:35 AM #4
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Default Re: New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

It sounds like a very badly run DBT group and the facilitators not well trained and incompetent. Other people may have felt the same as you but stopped going. Is there another well run DBT group that you can go to? Maybe your therapist can recommend another one.

Doing homework is important but people take things on at their own pace, absorbing things differently.

Shame is the primary emotion but very quickly can morph to anger in order to protect yourself. Hope you can find a better group to go to.
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:40 AM #5
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Default Re: New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

Is there a reason you must go back? If not, and it's not helping you, maybe put your energy and resources into something that will be more helpful.
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Old 03-06-2019, 01:17 PM #6
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Default Re: New therapist in DBT group! Dont want to go back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
Is there a reason you must go back? If not, and it's not helping you, maybe put your energy and resources into something that will be more helpful.
Ok I live in New Zealand and in my country we have public health system supported by the goverment.
I go to the public health system. So the reason Inhave to go is because my individual therapist said to me that I have to keep going to keep them as a my therapist. If you stop going to DBT group you cant start it until another year
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