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Old 03-06-2019, 01:16 PM #1
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Default I hate my husband

Iíve come a long with with all the BPD stuff. What lead me to finally get diagnosed was my crappy relationship. Iím no longer on medication and Iíve had three kids. My twins were born a few months ago and my relationship with my husband has been horrible since. Heís emotionally abusive. I do not have Post-Partun Depression. Itís all him and his bS. He nitpicks everything I do. I get three hours sleep half the time and he doesnít care. Heís always rushing me and criticizing me and Iím sick of it. Now weíve gotten in yet another fight and heís being Mr Taking the high road and basically shutting me off.

What I need help with is honestly containing my rage right now. I put this in the BPD forums because it belongs here and not in the relationship one. This is BPD. Iím so angry right now. I hate him right now. And I donít know how to contain my rage. Iím home alone with my babies (they are safe, Iíd never hurt them-I am just so angry and I donít know how to deal with it). I used to self harm and itís making me want to do that again and I donít want to do it. My kids deaerve a mom who doesnít hurt herself.

Pleas someone help me.

Last edited by FooZe; 03-07-2019 at 02:45 AM. Reason: no longer a duplicate
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Old 03-06-2019, 09:07 PM #2
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Default Re: I hate my husband

Hope you can get some couples counseling. An extra benefit of that is that it will give you time away from the kids, as much as you love them. You MUST get some me time for yourself alone. heís overwhelmed too, most likely. Get a babysitter. If you have one,get someone as backup. Get some rest. You cant be a good mom without it. Now Ill let the bpd folks take over here.
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Old 03-06-2019, 09:45 PM #3
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Default Re: I hate my husband

I think you need your own one on one therapy to help you deal with your anger. You can't figure things out or solve any problems if you are that angry.
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Old 03-07-2019, 06:46 AM #4
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Default Re: I hate my husband

Couples counseling is usually not a good idea when one is an abuser; the abuser has to get therapy by himself for his anger issues. I understand your rage; counseling for yourself would perhaps be helpful. I am so sorry you are in this situation; this is verbal abuse. It affects your immune system.The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my live after 31 years of verbal abuse. Abusers are angry and take it out on others....it has nothing to do with who you are. Something that helps is to stop responding to the abuse...abusers are emotional vampires; they need you to continually explain yourself.

He can't fight with you, if you don't respond....walk away; go into another room. He will probably follow you and continue the abuse; you can set your boundaries, and refuse to listen to, or respond to his abuse....he will get angrier, because ne NEEDS you to respond
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Old 03-07-2019, 06:47 AM #5
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Default Re: I hate my husband

For the anger issues, have you tried DBT? I don't think I can say anything about your marriage, as I have never had a serious relationship.
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Old 03-07-2019, 11:06 AM #6
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Default Re: I hate my husband

Are you feeling better today?

Iíve been struggling with similar issues. You are not alone.
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Old 03-08-2019, 10:09 AM #7
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Default Re: I hate my husband

I feel a little better today. Thank you for your replies. If it wasnít for this particular relationship Iíd wonder sometimes if I even have BPD.

I hate that I even wrote I hate him. I donít obviously but he pushes my buttons and I go to that extreme which I know is BPD. I feel like I have managed to overcome so much. I wa depressed for like 20 years, did DBT, had my first child and though I have my moments I have gotten through things. The postpartum time after my twins has been very hard but I really have been doing well considering. I guess itís that typical BPD thing...I feel like he doesnít love me. When we fight it feels like the end of the world and I find I go towards anger. Itís not destructive though and I know Iíd never harm anyone but it feels horrible and I need help dealing with it. Couples fight...why does it destroy me?
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Old 03-12-2019, 12:32 PM #8
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Default Re: I hate my husband

i am the same way... every time my partner gets the slightest bit aggravated at me im mentally preparing for this being the time he leaves. i blow everything out of proportion. im afraid everything is the end of the world. its exhausting.
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