BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-14-2019, 11:57 AM #11
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

...................wrong post. Sorry! Lol!

Last edited by AzulOscuro; 03-14-2019 at 12:10 PM.
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Old 03-14-2019, 12:13 PM #12
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anatta View Post
What a touching and inspiring post! Thank you so much for sharing! I'll give my boyfriend a hug now
Very true!
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Old 03-17-2019, 05:49 AM #13
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

I only read the original post that started this thread. I donít have any romantic involvement and I donít want any. That being said, I do feel like a burden to others, my family and friends. I donít belong anywhere and I just donít understand what my purpose could possibly be. I am just here. Breathing air, drinking water and eating food. I take up space and I am just so tired of being where I donít belong.
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Old 03-19-2019, 07:44 PM #14
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((((((((( hugs to all ))))))))))

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Old 03-22-2019, 11:06 PM #15
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

I always feel like the people who are friends with me or like me just don't know me well enough, and if I really open up they'll realize what a terrible person I am. (And comments certain people have made about BPD without knowing I am haven't helped.) I'm currently in a relationship and my boyfriend is fairly supportive - to the extent he can be, because of his own problems - but he's kind of been skirting the borderline issue since I told him, and I'm worried that he doesn't want to admit to or address what that entails.
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:18 AM #16
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

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Originally Posted by notmyrealname567 View Post
I always feel like the people who are friends with me or like me just don't know me well enough, and if I really open up they'll realize what a terrible person I am. (And comments certain people have made about BPD without knowing I am haven't helped.).
I feel the same way.
I have largely isolated myself from people because of this. Therapists tell me that is not a healthy way to handle this, but it sure does cut down on the abuse when there is no one around to abuse me. And I donít need to worry about who finds out what a horrible person I am because there is no one around.

I hope everything works out well for you with your boyfriend. I hope all of us with BPD find the most comfortable place for us to be and we are able to stay there.
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:49 AM #17
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

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Originally Posted by MotherHen View Post
Anatta, when I read your post I just had to respond. I am the partner of someone with BPD. He suffers from severe abandonment issues and we have been working on this extensively lately. Whenever anything irritates me or I express an interest in an activity that doesn't include him, he becomes dissociated and detached which then leads to the abandonment spiral.

I just want to reassure you and everyone else out there, that abandonment issues are a very real thing and that as a couple you CAN work through them together. I have to constantly reassure my husband that I am here and committed and always willing to hear his feelings - that is MY JOB as his partner. His job is to be honest about how he is feeling - my job is to make sure that he understands that I am not going anywhere and that we BOTH have space for our feelings and needs.

It's a tough road - this abandonment thing. I have had to become understanding in ways that I did not know I had within me. Love is inspiring in it's own right, though, and you can find it with honest communication - I truly believe that. All the best to you!!!
When I read your comment I started to cry. I am going to a very hard moment.... I was the partner of a person that probably has BPD but his symptoms aree so bad..... I am lost now.... Can I give you the URL to the thread I have posted on this forum but another thread please so you can read my story. I would need to know the advice of a person that is the partner of a BPD
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Old 03-27-2019, 03:59 PM #18
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Default Re: BPD and Me: Abadonment Fears

Fear of abandonment is a hallmark of bpd. Iím always afraid that Iím not good enough and people are going to walk away from my life - and they usually do! It takes me a long time to trust anyone. Iím single now and have been for 3 years and Iím trying to accept the fact that Iíll probably be alone forever. And I canít make a friendship last to save my life.
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