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Old 03-16-2019, 06:32 PM   #1
TeaFruit
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Default Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

I been doing therapy for about 4 years to be excat. Two years I did psychodynamic therapy which made me worse. Meaning self harm and threats on one life. I was then given a DBT therapist thank goodness. I have improved yeps. Just recently I dont know why but I feel I been going down hill for past month. I been doing DBT therapy over a year now and I have 3 or 4 weeks finishing off DBT group therapy.
It seems other people who are finishing off have jobs I dont. I would of thought I be around there level as well. So I feel confused/panicked and thinking must be some thing not right with therapy with my individual therapist if the others are further ahead when they start group therapy the same time as me.

Besides that. I have been emotionally triggered by a lot of things. What people say, I end up in tears and cry for a good hour or half an hour.

I feel emotions more especially in my throat. I feel a lot of emotions in my throat since well even before I started DBT therapy. Or my chest or stomach. But it's over very small things and try to figure out if its false sense of guilt, shame or sadness. But it's all the time so. ts getting very exhausting for me.
I'm unable to sleep well as well.

So therapy like this for me I tell my therapist what's bothering me and then they tell me to close my eyes and ask questions such as "where do you feel the emotion in your body?" , "how long had it been there"? , "what peace does it need" , "what thoughts are in your mind", "how does it feel to have these thoughts" and "what does your wise mind say about it or what would you say to a friend ". I feel its a lot of analysis in my emotions and not enough practical stuff to build a life worth living. Like a job or exposing my fear to people because I experience socail anxiety . When I did psychodymanic therapy it was very inwards and I experienced OCD, so you know OCD thoughts are very over analysis and obsession part. So I'm afraid this is what happening with therapy here going too inward and its driving the obsession in my OCD and over analysising it.
I have had increase unhelpful thoughts of suicide and self harm.
I have spoke to my therapist about this. I have written a letter to my therapist. But it doesnt seem to get through. My partner and family notice I have been more emotional.
I dont know if my partner talking to my therapist would help to have a different perspective in what is happening.
I'm really stuck.
This is the same feeling I had when I was going with the psychodymanic therapy.

I dont know what to do? Has anyone have relaspe of BPD after finishing off DBT group therapy? Or you were good and got worse and then good again and now worse again?
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:29 PM   #2
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

I'm the same as you. I did 2 years of therapy, I stopped going last year. During those 2 years I got even worse, going to therapy made me self conscious about myself, it made me think about it 24/7, and it also kinda made me think "I'm not sick enough" and I would make myself worse on purpose. Right now I'm not seeing any therapist, but I feel that I'm even worse than when it al started.
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Old 03-17-2019, 04:10 AM   #3
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

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Originally Posted by yShuan View Post
I'm the same as you. I did 2 years of therapy, I stopped going last year. During those 2 years I got even worse, going to therapy made me self conscious about myself, it made me think about it 24/7, and it also kinda made me think "I'm not sick enough" and I would make myself worse on purpose. Right now I'm not seeing any therapist, but I feel that I'm even worse than when it al started.

Yeah I felt the same way with my pervious therapist. I felt I had to make myself worse in order for my therapist to take me seriously. Because I didnt know how to Express my emotions. I mean this behaviour was the same when I did it to my partner or my family. I just didnt know how to Express my emotions or what I was feeling so I did that. It was in a sense a call for help. But it's not effective in the long run cause you feel ashamed after doing it once you've calm down.
But yeah it does make it 24/7. I dont know of that just too much therapy or what.

What type of therapy did you do for the 2 years? Was it DBT?
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:15 AM   #4
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

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Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
Yeah I felt the same way with my pervious therapist. I felt I had to make myself worse in order for my therapist to take me seriously. Because I didnt know how to Express my emotions. I mean this behaviour was the same when I did it to my partner or my family. I just didnt know how to Express my emotions or what I was feeling so I did that. It was in a sense a call for help. But it's not effective in the long run cause you feel ashamed after doing it once you've calm down.

But yeah it does make it 24/7. I dont know of that just too much therapy or what.



What type of therapy did you do for the 2 years? Was it DBT?


No, it wasn't DBT. I'm from Spain, and we don't have DBT therapy (at least in my city). Anyways, what I did was an experimental therapy that it was supposed to "re-teach" my brain. Honestly, it was ********. Phase 1 was: Everyday they would connect me with those head things, made me watch some "special" games that behaved like my brain. For example, one was a car game, and if you had bad or irregular thoughts it would crash and the goal was to complete it in x minutes. Phase 2 was: Listen to some "therapy" music that it was supposed to do something to my brain. I hated it, it made me sleepy. Then last phase: This phase was like a normal therapy, you know, talking and all of that. This was what made me quit. The therapist did not understand me, she would forget things I told her and this is what angered me the most. There's really sensitive topics that are really hard for me to talk about, and If one day I gain courage and tell you about it and the next day you forget... Hm, does it even matter to you? Also, she said horrible things about my mother. She had an accident 5 years ago and has a disability, I take care of her and i do everything because she can't. This stupid therapist criticized her, and I couldn't stand it.

In the end i quitted during phase 3. It was an experimental therapy and honestly I think it was a waste of time.
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Old 03-23-2019, 05:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

TF: Don't worry about how you're doing compared to other people in your group. Everyone is an individual; their issues might not effect their functionality as much as yours, or maybe DBT is more helpful for their brains than yours. That doesn't mean you're broken or not trying hard enough, but it means you need to keep working on solutions that are more useful to you.



I know exactly what you mean about overanalyzing, I get the same way. What did your therapist say when you brought that up? I just started seeing someone new, and one of the first things I told her is that I want more of an interactive dynamic with real solutions, not just a shoulder to cry on. So far so good.


Are you on any meds, or has that been discussed as an option? They're not a solution for BPD, but if your emotions are interfering with therapy, getting them under control might make it easier for you to succeed. That's my current plan - with the emphasis on preventing the deep dark depressions I get into, which would be likely to keep me from attending therapy or making any effort at it.
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Old 03-26-2019, 04:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

Unfortunately.. I echo the possible suggestion of meds.

And kudos to the strength of all... whether meds are an option, and especially if they are not. and they cause horrible and unacceptable side effects.

All here are strong and intelligent people...
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Old 04-02-2019, 10:40 AM   #7
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

Thought I'd briefly share my experience with DBT & BPD. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2005. In 2016 I started DBT & at the same time started seeing a DBT therapist. I have been going ever since. About 50% stay in group for about a year which is 2 or 3 rounds of the course. 10% drop out after a month or less. The remainder of us have been there 2 or more years. Some of these long timers will take a break here & there but return after only a few weeks away. This is a weekly group.

My experience with BPD is often "two steps forward & one step back." I have struggled with suicidal urges & "non-suicidal self-injurious behavior" (all of those formal words for SI ) for most of my life. No joke. I don't know if the suicidal ideation will ever go away but it does get less intense. I take medication for my depression as well. I've switched meds a few times but usually just because it stops working. As far as hospitalizations goes I have been in & out a few times. No need in sharing the number.

In conclusion I'd say to try to be patient & kind to yourself. Also try to not compare yourself to those around you. I say these things to myself as well. It's hard, I know. 🙂 ... If it's okay.
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:35 PM   #8
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Old 04-14-2019, 01:55 AM   #9
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

I left my last DBT session about 2 weeks ago and after the session I cried for about a day and a half. Listening to others stories was so much of a downer.

I don't think group therapy is for me at all. I purposely didn't ask for time off from work to go.
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Old 04-23-2019, 11:08 PM   #10
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Default Re: Getting worse after a year of DBT therapy

I think its something we all go through no matter the type of therapy if we have been with the same therapist for a relatively long period of time. Part of BPD is abandonment issues real or imagined and self-blame for that abandonment. So - essentially, we see the therapist as abandoning us .. and count down the abandonment with dread .. and try to figure out how we can "right the wrong" so the abandonment does not occur. Meanwhile - our emotional health is anything BUT healthy. And right after the "abandonment" it's even worse for a time - until/unless we find a way to calm enough to put what we learned into action to see if it works or if we need another counselor.
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