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janese429
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Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Kansas, USA
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Default Apr 27, 2019 at 11:02 AM
  #1
Hello, I am Janese, from Kansas. I am 45. I have been divorced 3 times, have had another 7 year relationship and my current relationship has been 3 years.... (not married yet). I am currently diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks and anxiety that is debilitating.
I have been doing a lot of reading on Borderline Personality Disorder and I suspect this is what I have. A therapist I went to in the past thought my mother had this disorder, and gave me a book on how to deal with a loved one. I connected with so many of the issues in this book, researched alot on the internet and now I believe I have this as well.
I currently see a psych dr. for meds, and sporadically go to a therapist (which I have not "bonded" with). I hope to someday find a therapist I feel comfortable with enough to explore this. My current therapist just tells me I am fine, normal and to continue what I am doing. But I am far from normal!!!! I am constantly in a turmoil in my head which does spill out to my relationship with my boyfriend.
I recognize many of the signs of the impending doom of not giving a care, putting up walls five miles high, and then the fears of aloneness creep in. Its a neverending cycle that keeps me in a turmoultuous state.
I just want to get better and have a fulfilling life with my sig other and my two girls.

Nice to hear from anyone!!!!
Thanks for reading!
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Thanks for this!
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sarahsweets
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Default Apr 28, 2019 at 02:18 AM
  #2
Welcome. I encourage you to find a therapist you can see consistently so you can get to the bottom of things.

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Misfit Toy
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Default Apr 28, 2019 at 05:45 AM
  #3
Hi Janese. Keep reading all you can about the disorder. I also have CPTSD, and a lot of those issues are covered here. These forums are a great starting place for finding things to improve and get better. I, too, recommend a new therapist. I know it is hard to change, but well worth it if you find someone you can trust.

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