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Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Henderson
Posts: 7
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#1
Can someone please explain TFP to me in simple terms?
My therapist hasn't done a good job of it, and I've seen her for a few months. She's also making me more and more uncomfortable. The comments she makes. They're a little too "shrinky" and robotic. I appreciate how structured she is, and that she cares about legal matters, such as getting consent, which none of my former therapists cared about. Nonetheless, half the time she compliments me for getting better, and the other half she makes these quips and points out these things I don't know matter. It makes me very uncomfortable and is starting to trigger the value/devalue part of my BPD. All she told me about this therapy is eventually I might start getting angry with her. Nonetheless, when I explained to her that she was confusing me, she turned it back on me. See what I mean by shrinky? |
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Fuzzybear
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Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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#2
Quote:
Transference in this kind of therapy is not the kind you see on the internet of falling in love with your therapist. its the kind where you expect or want others to take care of you, expect or want to place blame on others for your problems and choices, or instead of facing problems and taking care of them you act out in negative ways like suicide attempts, self injury or mentally escape the problems (example daydreaming, dissociating and other mental ways of escaping taking care of yourself and your problem) in other words instead of taking care of a problem for some reason a person may be transfering that problem into something or someone else and someone elses responsibility. or self sabotaging treatment. using this therapy approach you are going to be setting up very strict rules and boundaries, goals focused on you learning what your problems are, and learning how to take care of them with out transferring the problem into being a suicide attempt , a self injury attempt or transferring it into being the therapists or other peoples responsibility to take care of you and solve your problems. and you will be held accountable for lack of progress / self sabotaging therapy. it is going to make you angry because your therapist is going to be re directing you with saying things like "Im sorry but its not my job to stop you from doing this, what can ...You.........do about this." "I understand you are angry right now but lets not focus on blaming others for what happened, tell me about what happened in terms of your own behaviors, your own choices, do you think there may be another way to handle this problem then expecting such and such...." and things like "so what you are telling me is you did not follow through with your side of our contract, which is called self sabotaging your therapy. you need to decide why you are here and if you want to participate in your therapy process, other wise I may have to terminate therapy with you. tell me what do you expect to get out of coming to see me?" in other words in this kind of therapy the therapist is purposely not going easy, is going to be making you actually work on solving your problems and if there are any negative behaviors like self injury and suicide attempts there will be sort of consequences (ie that session may have to end and you may have to be transported to the hospital for a 72 hour stay if thats what your treatment plan, rules and goals are for around this kind of thing) if you do not do the work and homework on you and your problems then therapy with that therapist may have to end because you are self sabotaging the sessions. its going to put you in the position where you are responsible for your own self care and whether or not you get better. most treatment providers in the USA use a this therapy to various levels depending upon what their clients problems are, whether they need "contracts" and be held accountable for negative behaviors that may be affecting the sessions and their healing progress. many USA states are adding more and more of this therapy in as the health care system is changing and requiring treatment providers to answer to why clients are in their care long term rather than addressing their problems and moving out of constantly needing a therapist. the various governments and insurance companies are now swamped with waiting lists for treatment so there has to be some changes on how therapy is run, therapy isnt for someone to stay stuck in their problems, its for going in, setting treatment goals and accomplishing those goals then move on out into the real world and use what you learned in therapy. as the government is starting tho hold therapists accountable therapists in turn are using this therapy to hold their clients accountable for their own therapy process. ultimately a therapist cant be with someone 24/7 taking care of them and their problems. its the clients job to do this so this therapy puts things back in the cleints hands of holding them accountable for their problems and whether they get better or not. its not easy and it will make you feel angry as your therapist makes you focus on you and your behaviors and being held accountable for why your problems are not getting better. |
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Bill3, Fuzzybear
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Member Since Mar 2018
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#3
Unfortunately it is in the nature of the practice of TFP that an explanation of it tends to be shrinky.
Transference based psychotherapy is based on our ability to form a relationship with other people based on our experiences with people we had in our past. So when we arrive at a relationship or interaction with another person we are bringing our past experiences with us whether they are good or bad. This ability to bring the past to our present in the therapeutic relationship is called the transference. The key point here is that the transference, whether or not it is a positive or negative transference is in some manner *inappropriate* for the present relationship. We can for example be too friendly or too unfriendly based on our unconscious feelings about the therapist where the inappropriateness of our reaction is a signal to the therapist the therapist activates a relationship from our past. The transference can then be interpreted to enable a better understanding of the therapeutic relationship so it can be healthy and healing for the person in therapy. When treating BPD using TFP the therapist has to attempt to remain neutral. Otherwise the client comes to rely on the therapist in a way that is counter productive and the therapist is unable to remain sufficiently centred in themselves to observe the transferences. TFP is only suitable for a certain type of well grounded ***therapist*** who can want good things for the client no matter that the client brings to the therapist. Unfortunately it is the nature of BPD that it is a difficult therapy for the therapist. Neutrality is used to protect both therapist and client. If you are getting angry - which the therapist must already have noticed - and you are talking about your confusion - the therapist might be expecting you to be more direct with your anger than intellectualising somewhat with the idea you are 'confused' when in fact you do know you are angry with the therapist and the therapist knows it. :-) |
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Fuzzybear
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#4
Thanks for this thread
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