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Member Since Sep 2018
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#1
I have so much rage. I am immune to anything when I'm full of anger and rage. Pain, whatever. I feel nothing except the raging ball of fury inside me and what it brings. Why am I posting about this? I seem to ask myself this question every time I post. To get insight from others, perhaps. Rage is a terrible thing, but it makes you feel on top of the world. I don't love my rage, anger, my mania.
Rage, rage... it can make you feel so superior sometimes. -- "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage" -- Smashing Pumpkins, in the song "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" |
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Fuzzybear, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#2
I'm sorry you have so much rage. I have a lot of rage too. I don't know where it comes from. Well... I have some ideas. But I don't know if any of them are accurate. I have worried from time-to-time about what might happen if I ever lost control of it.
I can't say as my rage ever makes me feel on top of the world. It just frightens me & wears me out. It also embarrasses me when some of it does begin to leak out as it invariably does. I try my best to meet it with compassion & lovingkindness. But sometimes it feels like trying to beat back an elephant with a flyswatter. I suppose hard physical exercise would be a good antidote. But I don't get a lot of that anymore. When I was younger there were periods of time when I had occasion to chop wood. And I do think that was a bit of help. But, of course, it was temporary. And our fireplace now is gas. So no more wood chopping... P.S Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that may be of some interest: 3 Steps to Empower Yourself Using Your Own Anger __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) Last edited by Skeezyks; Jun 09, 2019 at 02:48 PM.. |
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Fuzzybear, sadveiledbride
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sadveiledbride
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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#3
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sadveiledbride, Skeezyks
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sadveiledbride
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 23
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#4
God I miss my rage. Expressing my anger made me feel so powerful. But those on the receiving end became very frustrated and I started to feel guilty for some of the things that would come out of my mouth. I want to start using "Dear Man" from DBT. But I'm so fed up with everything at this point, I feel like what's the point of having any communication with people that annoy the hell out of me. I've become very quiet and almost like I've lost my voice. I hope you find a solution and am glad you seem driven
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sadveiledbride
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sadveiledbride
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#5
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