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sadveiledbride
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Trig Jun 09, 2019 at 05:35 AM
  #1
I have so much rage. I am immune to anything when I'm full of anger and rage. Pain, whatever. I feel nothing except the raging ball of fury inside me and what it brings. Why am I posting about this? I seem to ask myself this question every time I post. To get insight from others, perhaps. Rage is a terrible thing, but it makes you feel on top of the world. I don't love my rage, anger, my mania.
Rage, rage... it can make you feel so superior sometimes.
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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage" -- Smashing Pumpkins, in the song "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"
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Heart Jun 09, 2019 at 02:30 PM
  #2
I'm sorry you have so much rage. I have a lot of rage too. I don't know where it comes from. Well... I have some ideas. But I don't know if any of them are accurate. I have worried from time-to-time about what might happen if I ever lost control of it.

I can't say as my rage ever makes me feel on top of the world. It just frightens me & wears me out. It also embarrasses me when some of it does begin to leak out as it invariably does. I try my best to meet it with compassion & lovingkindness. But sometimes it feels like trying to beat back an elephant with a flyswatter.

I suppose hard physical exercise would be a good antidote. But I don't get a lot of that anymore. When I was younger there were periods of time when I had occasion to chop wood. And I do think that was a bit of help. But, of course, it was temporary. And our fireplace now is gas. So no more wood chopping...

P.S Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that may be of some interest:

3 Steps to Empower Yourself Using Your Own Anger

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Last edited by Skeezyks; Jun 09, 2019 at 02:48 PM..
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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 02:45 PM
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Ofeelia
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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 12:57 AM
  #4
God I miss my rage. Expressing my anger made me feel so powerful. But those on the receiving end became very frustrated and I started to feel guilty for some of the things that would come out of my mouth. I want to start using "Dear Man" from DBT. But I'm so fed up with everything at this point, I feel like what's the point of having any communication with people that annoy the hell out of me. I've become very quiet and almost like I've lost my voice. I hope you find a solution and am glad you seem driven
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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 01:19 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofeelia View Post
God I miss my rage. Expressing my anger made me feel so powerful. But those on the receiving end became very frustrated and I started to feel guilty for some of the things that would come out of my mouth. I want to start using "Dear Man" from DBT. But I'm so fed up with everything at this point, I feel like what's the point of having any communication with people that annoy the hell out of me. I've become very quiet and almost like I've lost my voice. I hope you find a solution and am glad you seem driven
Thank you Ofeelia, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling -- if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me anytime... I understand what you are going through, really, I do.
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