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Capac
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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #1
I am feeling really scared. All weekend I was dealing with extreme self hatred and low self worth. It has gotten so bad today that I am having urges to self harm and have suicidal ideations. Things have pushed me over the edge today. I can't do this anymore. I am 31, and all my life I was rejected, never had much of a social life or friends, never had a gf. I am tired of feeling so isolated, alone, unwanted, worthless, like a piece of ****. I feel so inferior, so small, and insignificant, and it has gotten to the point where I don't want to do this anymore. Every single day the self hatred. I'm tired of feeling worthless, unloved and not cared about. I just want to disappear, everyone hates me, I hate myself, I don't want to be here anymore.
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Ofeelia
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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 12:51 AM
  #2
Hi, I haven't been on the forums for a while but what you just described is why I came back. It is very scary. Anything to distract the pain? My cats keep me going. Having something to focus on other than yourself. I deal with suicidal thoughts everyday. It's very exhausting. I'm open to chatting if you like. Go easy on yourself
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Unhappy Jun 10, 2019 at 07:03 PM
  #3
I wish I could disappear

I hope that in some way you will be able to find a path to deep peace within...

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Default Jun 11, 2019 at 05:31 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofeelia View Post
Hi, I haven't been on the forums for a while but what you just described is why I came back. It is very scary. Anything to distract the pain? My cats keep me going. Having something to focus on other than yourself. I deal with suicidal thoughts everyday. It's very exhausting. I'm open to chatting if you like. Go easy on yourself
I try anything to distract and escape.

I am on meds and go to therapy twice a week. And I am still unstable, I am still a basket case. Been doing this for over ten years. It is hopeless. I am beyond help.
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