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elevatedsoul
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Trig Jul 13, 2019 at 08:05 PM
  #1
I know my emotions are chaotic but i have a strong sense of moral codes and always treat everyone the same (according to how im treated; as a mirror..)

Always polite, respectful, empathetic, and understanding...
I dont lash out but withdraw internally and take it out on myself or abuse alcohol...

I just feel like i have been treated very poorly my entire life and lately feel as if people are so delusional applying their assumptions on me and gossiping about me over things thay are not true causing ever more difficulties for me

I struggle to maintain my stress level so i can remain high functioning...
But this has become unbearable...


Am i the delusional one..? If not why is everyone spreading rumors about me and turning around smiling in my face saying they care about me and want to help when they are only destroying me..?

I know im not delusional because i have heard through others whats being said ..

I cant cope with it anymore and my anxiety and stress are making my symptoms really bad...

I've been lashing out and feeling attacked and its not like me and i just want it to stop but i cant control what other people assume or say...

I just wish that their paranoid delusions didn't involve me and didn't affect me...

The things being said about me are not true :'(
What do i do..? It's everyone that know me and im very alone and singled out right now...
It's no exaggeration...

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 01:41 PM
  #2
I cant speak to the delusions but if you are abusing alcohol in a way that would be alcoholic then you will feel a sense if persecution whether or not its true. Alcoholics justify their drinking habits by catastrophizing everything and feeling like everyone is out to get them and it just fuels the cycle of drinking.

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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 09:39 AM
  #3
The problem is i dont justify anything i do, i dont have to...
And these people literally are calling everyone talking about me asking questions and spreading lies and half truths without just talking to me .. like for one i am 29 years old and its not normal nor ok to treat me this way im not a tool for them to use to get self gratification or make them self feel better about themself .. im not bothering anyone and just trying to get away from the narcissistic abuse...

I've told them all to **** off and leave me alone forget im alive .. so tired of thirds ********...

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Default Jul 29, 2019 at 12:54 PM
  #4
Some people do spread lies or half truths or attempt to...
Anyone with any sense wouldn’t listen to malicious gossip .....
Since nobody is perfect the gossipers are pretty sad
I hope you can get away from this Narcissistic abuse .....
I’m sorry this is happening to you

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elevatedsoul
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Default Jul 30, 2019 at 08:49 PM
  #5
I will prevail...
I just have to be very assertive with myself that i am doing everything i can and working hard toward my goals...

That way i dont start believing that i am incapable, that i will fail, that i am being rude or mean...
When i am just defending my self because getting offended by stupid ****...
Which i have never stood up for myself before so this is all really new but i really believe im on the right track like my eye's s have been opened finally...

I feel like they created my disorders in me... of course i have ptsd...
But i think they created my anxiety and depression by invoking in me that i cant .. but also pressuring three most out of me .. saying im a genius, but that i cant do the simplest things...

But there is no time for blame! Its on their own recognizance to accept responsibility for their actions.. all i have time for is moving forward, being productive, to create the life Ive always wanted

i am determination, i am success, i will take care of everything on my own if no one wants to be emotionally supportive 💜
I got this cause i am strong

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