Problems at work

I'm in the UK, diagnosed BPD with depression and anxiety, and I'm having problems at my job. A few people have complained about my "behaviour" saying that I'm confrontational and rude. I have tried to explain that I'm a blunt person and can often be misinterpreted as being rude when I'm not being but this has fallen on deaf ears. Instead of putting any support in place management seem to just be set on punishing me and trying to get me to quit since they can't just fire me from a discrimination POV. This is unfortunately the second time this has had happened in my life.

I'm starting to believe that I deserve all that I'm going through and that I brought this on myself. I feel like I can no longer speak to any of my colleagues and my anxiety is overwhelming.

My question is: has anyone else been through something similar and how did you get through it? Will I ever be able to hold down and job and be supported?

Welcome @Riva: Has your manager reprimanded you for your behavior at work? What are they doing that makes you think they want you to quit?

My manager has been telling me about concerns being expressed since April but has done nothing to resolve the situation, just continued to tell me off.

She has now made my colleagues give statements about my conduct and there are things I have done wrong so I accept full responsibility for them; I have reacted poorly in some situations and once blurred the lines between friends and colleagues which has been inappropriate. But most of the things they've said about me are downright untrue. One of my colleagues has even said she's terrified that I'll hit her but I've NEVER been violent, threatened this or even alluded to it.

My union rep thinks it's a lot of victimisation and bullying. It's a huge mess.

Hi Riva. In the UK, are there any protections for employees with issues such as BPD? I'm glad to hear you have a Union rep on your side - that can't hurt! As for your questions, yes, I've had loads of issues with work, and my,...emotions, temperament, etc. Since my diagnosis of BPD is brand new....I also attributed such complaints from others as gee, they are over-reacting...or....this is just the way I am.....or......they provoked me.....and on and on. I also hit periods where I blamed myself, and thought I was just too emotional, "bad", deserving of the complaints, too damaged to function, and again, on and on and on. One of the things I'm learning is, I didn't cause the BPD - it was from things done to ME. Not my fault, but something I have to live with, deal with.

As for your question - will you ever be able to hold down a job? Yes. It is possible. I've had long term jobs that I enjoyed immensely. I've managed to (mostly) stop scaring people. I've learned how to "soften my bluntness". Am I successful every single day? Oh heck no. But for the majority of the time, I do ok. How? I look long and hard at situations that aren't going well - like you with your coworkers. I look at what THEY are reacting to (my words, manner, tone of voice, actions, etc.) - and think ok, how can I change how I act, what I do or say, to stop them from reacting that way? For example - that colleague of yours who is saying she is afraid you'll hit her - can you talk to her, still? Can you ask her why she feels that way? What you said or did that made her feel that way? It isn't about what you did or didn't say or do - it's about her interpretation of something you said or did. So, if you can, talk to her. Ask her to help you understand why she is feeling that way, so you can help correct her impression of you. Make sense?

For me, I have to remind myself that others don't seem to think the way I do, or feel the way I do, so I have to study them, to learn how they think and feel. Then I have to find ways to communicate with them, that they understand. Humor point - it sometimes makes me feel like either I, or they, are from an alien race. Like, "men are from mars, women are from venus"....and I am from Neptune.

Hope this helps. Hold onto hope, and try to find humor anywhere you can. Those two things have carried me far.