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Newly Joined
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: fl
Posts: 2
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#1
Hi everyone.
Almost 2.5 months ago I met a wonderful woman and things happened so quickly that 2 weeks later I moved in with her. At first I thought I had a wild woman with a free spirit, which maybe the case also......but then I started noticing a few things. After a week we were having conversation about trust when she suddenly turned very angry(no insults or anything) and said that I must trust her because it was much more difficult for her to trust me but she felt she could. Her mood scaried me but I forgot about it. Sex had been great, she idealized me, saying were soul mates and that she never felt this way before. 3 weeks later we were in bed and I wantedtogo smoke outside when suddenly she got up and flipped me off, went to her closet and slept there all night. She also texted me to move out. Next morning I tried waking her up, she said she was wrong but got so angry that I freaked out again. Doors slamming, music blasting she's screaming. I left the house and texted her that I wouldn't abandon her. She immediately responded "please come back" several times. Next day, she wanted to talk about a child that we earlier just fantasized. When I said im not sure, she flipped out, started calling me stupid and I felt being manipulated and insulted. She denied all that later like it never happened. Some days she is doing puzzles or games with loud music and I feel like she's doing everything she can not to explode in rage. Once in a conversation she called her daughter my daughter and when I pointed out 2 min later she denied saying it again. She's says she has been sexually abused as a child and had abusive relationships after that. She says shes been cheated on and thats why she has difficulty trusting but she feels she can trust me. Several days ago after reading on BPD, Iasked her if she had BPD but she denied it. She seems to treat me way too nice otherwise like she's compensating for something.*** Also I feel like my car has god tracker and my phone has been looked at. She asks that i text every morning "I love you and respond to her texts within an hour". She tries to control me by asking to do random small things many times. Again, sex is crazy and she seems to overdo everything to make sure I feel good....she asked me not to pay her rent or anything. She seems very strong on the outside, also very impulsive. I felt for a while and to some degree still do that I'm walking on eggshells, never know when she will explode again. I try to maintain boundaries and don't do everything she asks but validate her, compliment and she loves it. I'm not sure how to proceed. She gas many good sides like very empathetic and supportive, intelligent and insightful. I feel like she reads my mind. At this point i wonder how to proceed. She mentioned randomly before she worked with psychiatrist and counseling but never mentioned the reason. I guess my question is is this goi g to get worse overtime? Knowing that her anger is not a true reaction I feel like with the knowledge I have I could appropriately handle it but im worried that she's going to start to detach and increase the mood swings and maybe shes just doing her best now to hold together. |
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#2
Hello ramstein: I'm sorry I don't think I can tell you what's going on with your girlfriend & whether or not the behaviors you're observing will worsen over time. I'm not a mental health professional & there are simply too many factors to take into consideration including such things as: does she have a diagnoseable mental illness to begin with, which one, & is she / will she do what she needs to do in order to properly manage whatever condition it is she has. Also to be considered would be the skill level of & level of support available from significant others, family members, & friends. (Perhaps other PC members will have some thoughts they'll wish to share.) All of these factors & more are going to come into play & will influence your gf's behavior & ability to cope as time goes by.
Having written that however, since you posted this in the BPD forum, here are links to 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on that subject with an emphasis on articles related living with & loving someone who has BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder: Symptoms & Treatments Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder The Emotional Vulnerability of Borderline Personality Disorder How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 1 https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/lib/couples...lity-disorder/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-gift...lity-disorder/ I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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