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Old 12-02-2019, 12:42 PM   #11
TishaBuv
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Default Re: That Empty Feeling

Ok, letís try this:

I never thought I had black and white thinking. In fact, I see all the shades of gray in everything.

Yes, I am highly sensitive, but donít meet any of the criteria for a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Yes, I like and enjoy myself and always have. But I do go down the rabbit hole sometimes, especially over my couple of relationship issues.

A diagnosis of traits, and ptsd, and depression are probably correct. I donít talk to any professionals anymore. I chat and read here on PC. I care more about trying to stay at a healthy level of function and not destroy all my relationships. Yes, it was much more THEM then it was ME! I may be dealing with seriously empathic lacking family! I donít lack empathy.

Iím feeling a bit better now after the usual husband trigger took me down yesterday. Iím not sure how Iím going to be able to live and cope with this. Yes, I do see having to use logic and do something that works regardless of my true feelings about it. Whatever works, right?
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Old 12-02-2019, 12:55 PM   #12
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Default Re: That Empty Feeling

I propose that there is nothing wrong with us other than other people or we ourselves telling ourselves what we feel is wrong. That thought comes from this video: ("...And you say things to yourself like there's nothing wrong with me I'm just more understanding of emotions I'm feeling my guidance system in a stronger way...") YouTube
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Old 12-02-2019, 02:02 PM   #13
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Default Re: That Empty Feeling

Giving you lots of hugs. I can relate with you. Sometimes I feel completely empty because I've been hurt so much in my life, that sometimes I feel as if I don't deserved to be loved by anyone. Other times when people tell me they love me, I don't believe them because of the pain I feel and been manipulated by so many people in my past. So it's hard for me to truly see if anyone loves me or not. So I have a hard time being able to see it or notice it.
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Old 12-02-2019, 04:22 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_Stargazer View Post
Giving you lots of hugs. I can relate with you. Sometimes I feel completely empty because I've been hurt so much in my life, that sometimes I feel as if I don't deserved to be loved by anyone.
Everybody deserves love. There are some awful people who receive love by really good people.
Other times when people tell me they love me,I don't believe them because of the pain I feel and been manipulated by so many people in my past.
I believe those who say they love me until they, themselves show me they cannot possibly really love me because of the extremely hurtful way they have treated me. Iíve had quite a bit of this happen. But, there are others who profess love and never did great hurt, so I trust them. Iím sorry this happened to you.
So it's hard for me to truly see if anyone loves me or not. So I have a hard time being able to see it or notice it.

Itís easy to recognize. They are NICE to you! After all the soul searching Iíve done about this, I think itís really just that simple.
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Old 12-02-2019, 04:24 PM   #15
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Iím going to try, next time I see that I am setting myself up for what will surely be disappointment, to not do that. What should I do? Should I ask for love? Should I ask to be held and loved? Yikes! That really puts me off.
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Old 12-02-2019, 04:36 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut View Post
I propose that there is nothing wrong with us other than other people or we ourselves telling ourselves what we feel is wrong. That thought comes from this video: ("...And you say things to yourself like there's nothing wrong with me I'm just more understanding of emotions I'm feeling my guidance system in a stronger way...") YouTube
You are so right with the thinking in this video! Iím going to try to stop obsessing and just be happy. Everything that has given me so much grief is really meaningless in the whole scheme of life.
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Old 12-02-2019, 08:02 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut View Post
I propose that there is nothing wrong with us other than other people or we ourselves telling ourselves what we feel is wrong. That thought comes from this video: ("...And you say things to yourself like there's nothing wrong with me I'm just more understanding of emotions I'm feeling my guidance system in a stronger way...") YouTube
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Old 12-03-2019, 12:46 AM   #18
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Default Re: That Empty Feeling

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Ok, letís try this:

I never thought I had black and white thinking. In fact, I see all the shades of gray in everything.

Yes, I am highly sensitive, but donít meet any of the criteria for a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Yes, I like and enjoy myself and always have. But I do go down the rabbit hole sometimes, especially over my couple of relationship issues.

A diagnosis of traits, and ptsd, and depression are probably correct. I donít talk to any professionals anymore. I chat and read here on PC. I care more about trying to stay at a healthy level of function and not destroy all my relationships. Yes, it was much more THEM then it was ME! I may be dealing with seriously empathic lacking family! I donít lack empathy.

Iím feeling a bit better now after the usual husband trigger took me down yesterday. Iím not sure how Iím going to be able to live and cope with this. Yes, I do see having to use logic and do something that works regardless of my true feelings about it. Whatever works, right?
Sorry I tried answering earlier n obviously it didn't post.

It is so awesome to hear you say you have self love. It's something many of us do not have. Self love is what begins healthy interpersonal relationships. When a person loves themselves enough, they will not allow others (actions, words, beliefs, etc) to cause them harm in any kind (and if it becomes a possibility- will do as needed to prevent it). I would encourage you to form healthy interpersonal relationships by telling them what you need from them (in how they treat you), if they cannot have respect enough to try to meet you part way at least - then you need to reexamine how much contact you have with that person as well as how much time n energy you use up on them.
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:14 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
Sorry I tried answering earlier n obviously it didn't post.

It is so awesome to hear you say you have self love. It's something many of us do not have. Self love is what begins healthy interpersonal relationships. When a person loves themselves enough, they will not allow others (actions, words, beliefs, etc) to cause them harm in any kind (and if it becomes a possibility- will do as needed to prevent it). I would encourage you to form healthy interpersonal relationships by telling them what you need from them (in how they treat you), if they cannot have respect enough to try to meet you part way at least - then you need to reexamine how much contact you have with that person as well as how much time n energy you use up on them.
Iíve always had self love. Iíve always had [I]fairly[I] healthy interpersonal relationships. Iíve never had self hate, but I have gone so depressed and negative on myself that I had that raging voice in my head and beat myself up. I have allowed others to cause me harm. Sometimes, I got right out of a bad situation, but sometimes I didnít. Sometimes, I eventually got out. With this marriage, I have gone back and forth and have stayed but still with one foot out the door.

I told him and told him what I need, I said it loudly and clearly, I went to therapists, we went together to therapists... nothing got through to get him to give me what I need. It is over the top out there that this happens. No one really believes it, tbh. But this is the situation. He triggers me and I have to learn to avoid that. I apologized to him for the insulting things I said to him. I am sorry for losing my cool. But, the unsolvable problem is real and I need to cope.

But, Iím not going to complain about him anymore. I am going to try to just be happy with myself.
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:21 AM   #20
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Default Re: That Empty Feeling

I think a lot of the healthy interpersonal relationships is that everyone I know is not so healthy themselves! Itís not JUST me who has issues. I canít really think of one person I know who doesnít have some issues, too. Therefore, the relationships are never totally healthy. They are good enough, mostly. Some were too toxic to continue- yet these people are all functioning, highly educated, intelligent people. The whole world is kinda off the charts IMHO.
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