FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,192
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#21
Here’s an interesting story of an ex who did yet didn’t hurt me:
We dated on and off over a few years. He never said he loved me and never was committed. When we were together though, it was very warm, close, intimate. On our first date, he took me out to eat with his mother! He always treated me well and respectfully when with me. He took me out on really nice dates, and I was part of his life, saw his friends and family. Meanwhile, he had a very dysfunctional, tragic past. He had a overly enmeshed relationship with his mother. He had a very seedy and dangerous job that was a family business for generations. Yet, I was so crazy about him. He had a bubbly, adorable personality and was a street rat. Why did I find him irresistible? He was super cute, good looking. He was smart and hilariously funny. I hadn’t met anyone else like him, except my mom told me where she grew up, guys like him were a dime a dozen. My mom did not discourage the relationship. I’m not sure why because I really think, looking back, he was a sociopath. But she liked him. Of course, she didn’t know he was a coke addict (which I did not do with him). So I accepted just dating him on and off. I knew he was seeing other women. I knew about all the bad things he was doing. I was hoping he would grow up and become more tame and love and commit to me. His mother came to see me and actually begged me to wait for him and that he is a great guy who is worth it! We started to become steady for a few months and I mentioned that to him. The next date we had, he stood me up and simply never called me again! That really hurt. I cried for a few days, but I never called him again either. Why bother? He wasn’t dead. He was fine. He just chose to dump me in a cruel way to get rid of me because he didn’t want me. So I let him go. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Reply With Quote |
Crypts_Of_The_Mind, TunedOut
|
here today
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
11 1,429 hugs
given |
#22
No, he probably just didn't want his mother mixed up in the relationship. Nothing you could do about that once she stopped by and got herself involved!? Unless, you'd known enough at the time not too mention it? But, how could you have possibly known that much back then? Interesting, maybe, that you loved him for him -- whatever that means? -- and not what needs he could fill for you?
I stopped by this thread (hope it's OK, folks, I don't have BPD though I did and probably still do have PD issues of some sort, diagnosed PDNOS about 10 years ago) because I saw your posting in another forum. For whatever it's worth and whatever that means, I like you for you. You seem honest -- and thus trustworthy, from my standpoint. You've been posting on PC a lot of years and I think I kinda get your struggles. Not the one with your H, though. My relationship with my late H was much different. Oh, well, people are different. |
Reply With Quote |
TishaBuv
|
Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,192
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#23
Quote:
My husband was the first really nice guy from a truly good family (although just two parents and no other family). He’s a good man, just the intimacy issue drives me off the deep end. I don’t know how much is my deep, dark issue (BPD?, anxiety?) or his anxiety?, disinterest due to thoughts elsewhere? I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. I feel ungrateful for complaining about mine. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
|
Reply With Quote |
here today
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
11 1,429 hugs
given |
#24
I felt sorta bad?/sad? mentioning it. Maybe it's something in those dysfunctional matriarchal dynamics that I think I do get when you write about that? I also think you've got something in trying just to be happy in yourself. My husband is dead -- just the way it is. Your husband is -- frustrating (to say the least?) -- just the way it is. I'm sorry for your situation, just as I'm sorry for mine. AND we do go on, somehow?
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
given |
#25
Quote:
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
|
Reply With Quote |
here today, TishaBuv
|
Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,192
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#26
Quote:
This POS ex isn’t worth my taking time to even think about anymore. I need to make my current life work and get out of this awful traumatized rut. Thanks for the support. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
|
Reply With Quote |
here today
|
Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,192
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#27
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Reply With Quote |
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
|
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
given |
#28
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|