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simplex
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 11:28 AM
  #1
Over the past couple of weeks I've been debating on mentioning to my therapist about my suspicion I have Borderline Personality Disorder. People had mentioned there's a stigma in the MH community; after reading more and understanding both myself and Borderline, that was understandable to me, it was giving me pause to bring it up. I decided to bring it up and be open minded.

She asked why I thought that and I went through all of the things. Then she sort of asked what I was looking for in being diagnosed, like what I thought I would get from it. My reply was that, I think it sort of grounds me when I'm lost in thought or feeling, and helps me understand myself. It also allows for some compassion for myself which I have not experienced much at all until very recently, 20ish years of self hate really (15-35), but I'm working on it.

I asked what she thought, and she said something about it would take a lot to get an Axis 2 diagnosis, that she didn't think I had that. Then led into she didn't think it was helpful because that would mean it's permanent and could cause me to think I was limited in potential. That it could become something to blame instead of trying to change.

But that doesn't quite make sense to me. If I've experienced most symptoms for decades it seems like I'd want to accept it's a part of me, understand it, and work to manage it the best I could, for a higher quality life/ to lessen the severity and impact in relationships (external and my relationship with self.) It's not like I'm trying to add on a diagnosis for rationalization of behavior, or as some primary identity of who I am as some limiting thing.

We had a good session overall, further in, I explained I'd been reading into this book "Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder." Some of the stuff I'm at now in the book, is all about being mindful, thinking with intent, practicing observing thoughts instead of feeling them completely and letting them derail me. A lot of the stuff I got to in the book, are things she's suggested in a different way in past sessions and for homework. So I think I'm on the right track overall in working on myself. Might have been nice to have the validation to not feel like a fake about it. That is probably just an excuse I need to not let build that would keep me from doing the work I need to do. Also feeling the joy I could be feeling in being not trapped in my mind. Thanks for reading
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sarahsweets
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Default Feb 13, 2020 at 03:46 AM
  #2
Hey @simplex I think its natural for us humans to want to label things. We want something concrete to work with. When it comes to mental health intricacies like BPD where its not necessarily solely a chemical imbalance or cut and dried I think you should work with the symptoms you have instead of making the symptoms fit a diagnosis. Have you asked your therapist what to work on if you have the same symptoms you say you have but no diagnosis? Would treating these symptoms change if you had the actual label?
Quote:
Originally Posted by simplex View Post
Over the past couple of weeks I've been debating on mentioning to my therapist about my suspicion I have Borderline Personality Disorder. People had mentioned there's a stigma in the MH community; after reading more and understanding both myself and Borderline, that was understandable to me, it was giving me pause to bring it up. I decided to bring it up and be open minded.

She asked why I thought that and I went through all of the things. Then she sort of asked what I was looking for in being diagnosed, like what I thought I would get from it. My reply was that, I think it sort of grounds me when I'm lost in thought or feeling, and helps me understand myself. It also allows for some compassion for myself which I have not experienced much at all until very recently, 20ish years of self hate really (15-35), but I'm working on it.

I asked what she thought, and she said something about it would take a lot to get an Axis 2 diagnosis, that she didn't think I had that. Then led into she didn't think it was helpful because that would mean it's permanent and could cause me to think I was limited in potential. That it could become something to blame instead of trying to change.

But that doesn't quite make sense to me. If I've experienced most symptoms for decades it seems like I'd want to accept it's a part of me, understand it, and work to manage it the best I could, for a higher quality life/ to lessen the severity and impact in relationships (external and my relationship with self.) It's not like I'm trying to add on a diagnosis for rationalization of behavior, or as some primary identity of who I am as some limiting thing.

We had a good session overall, further in, I explained I'd been reading into this book "Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder." Some of the stuff I'm at now in the book, is all about being mindful, thinking with intent, practicing observing thoughts instead of feeling them completely and letting them derail me. A lot of the stuff I got to in the book, are things she's suggested in a different way in past sessions and for homework. So I think I'm on the right track overall in working on myself. Might have been nice to have the validation to not feel like a fake about it. That is probably just an excuse I need to not let build that would keep me from doing the work I need to do. Also feeling the joy I could be feeling in being not trapped in my mind. Thanks for reading

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Default Feb 14, 2020 at 10:28 AM
  #3
Hey Sarah,

Yeah I think you're right about just working with symptoms. It seems like it's the same for me. My therapist's suggestion on what to work on was: being mindful everyday and practicing gratitude, and remembering good things people say etc. So practicing mindfulness I guess. Which also fits what I'm reading to help BPD. SO maybe I just shouldn't get too caught up in the label.
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Default Feb 17, 2020 at 08:37 PM
  #4
Hello!
I think everyone has a different idea when it comes to wanting to put a label on things--so someone might hate the idea of being diagnosed with any kind of disorder while other people might feel more compassionate towards themselves and a lot less "lost" after receiving a diagnosis.

I personally would prefer to get diagnosed, because it'd make me feel less like I'm "faking it", and more like, my problems are actually valid and I'm not making anything up.

Sorry for my English btw, I'm Italian Informing therapist of Borderline Personality Disorder suspicion
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Default Feb 18, 2020 at 07:01 PM
  #5
That's how I feel too about it. Kind of want confirmation to sort of know I'm going in right direction. But seems like I am anyway.

One thing that I pondered this week was my tendency to need to escape. I get lost in thought or feelings easily and sometimes I can't seem to even recognize it. Was wondering is this another thing to escape into and obsess about. But, I have been sticking with practicing mindfulness and not really feeling sorry for myself. I don't know. Thanks for your reply and I thought your English was good! I hope you're doing well.
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Default Feb 27, 2020 at 11:00 AM
  #6
I wonder why, why, why in the earth, psychiatrists are so reluctant to give a diagnosis on bpd when the patience is asking for clarification?
If a client asks it is because it’s better for them to know and be sure.

“ I don’t think you have bpd” They used to say. I don’t think this statement is clear or scientific to be honest.
I was in your same position. You seems to be doing a good work with mindfulness and following your therapy.

I was in the same place as you. I ask my psychiatrist for a deeper diagnoses. I didn’t point him about bpd specifically but I needed to give him all the details so he could make a more accurate picture about me.
He asked me to give him a diagram with the new information and so I did.
He told me that I made a good work.
Next time, he didn’t mentioned anything about it. Next month, when I visit him again, it will be me again the one who raise the topic again.

It’s not that I want a bpd diagnosis is about them being the experts and the patients having the right to have an accurate diagnosis. We aren’t kids to be treat as such.

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Default Mar 01, 2020 at 12:00 PM
  #7
For me it's all about "will this therapy or that therapy help?" Since it sounds like what you are doing is helping, I'd say focus on that and keep moving forward - you're doing it well! I saw an interview Marsha Linehan (creator of DBT therapy) gave - she said she tells her BPD patients to NOT tell their other care practitioners they have BPD, because of stigma. My own therapist DID diagnose me with BPD...but then told me she was not going to update my records with that diagnosis. Again, because of stigma. So, "officially" I'm not not diagnosed as such, but am in treatment for it.

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