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Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: East Coast
Posts: 55
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#1
I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago, but it kind of fell to the side. At one point I was told I didn't need therapy anymore. I kind of forgot I had this diagnosis.
But then I've been self-reflecting at a lot of my relationship issues, friendships and otherwise. I realized I have extreme reactions to fears of abandonment. I have severe trust issues. I might get paranoid about people thinking they have bad intentions (also have been treated badly by a lot of people so it makes sense). I have a lot of the symptoms but not all of them. They seem to get worse when I'm really stressed out and dealing with a lot in my life. When things are going well, they seem less prevalent I've been going through a lot lately, so I've been noticing the symptoms. I also realized that...I have hurt people wrongly because I was perceiving things that weren't necessarily true. But I became so erratic, overwhelmed, anxious and upset I acted impulsively. I wasn't aware back then, in these situations, I was doing that. But I'm aware now. So I'm going to talk to my therapist about treatment. I met someone I love and almost blocked him today and because his behavior upset me, I thought he was going to abandon me and it seemed like the world was ending. And reality, it was nothing like that. Thankfully I didn't block or confront him or do anything harmful to him. I have good self-control. But I came so close to losing it over...basically...nothing. I really love him. I don't want to put him through hell, so I'm going to try and get better. |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Kathleen83, Skeezyks
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New Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: Az
Posts: 7
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#2
Being aware and talking is a great step. With everything going on, being stressed and overwhelmed is affecting a lot of us. Know there are those that can relate and send supporting vibes your way.
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#3
Congratulations on your insight as well as on your determination to heal!
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2011
Location: midwest
Posts: 234
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#4
Yay you on the self awareness! A "therapeutic tune up" never hurts, in my opinion.
__________________ Diagnosed: Prolonged PTSD (civilian) BPD Dissociation |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#5
That's great, self awareness is a wonderful thing
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