Introduction

Good Morning
My name is Laura. I was diagnosed with bpd way back in 1987. I am now 58. I remember this date because it was in Richmond at MCV on the psych ward and I later moved to another part of the state for long term alcohol and drug treatment - which did help tremendously as they did not have a treatment for bpd back then. Thank you dr Linehan for your work in dbt!

When the doctor told me is said borderline what?? Like what am I on the borderline of? I thought he I was telling me I was almost mentally ill but not quite...like there was still hope...haha haha. He explained that if you walk in a room and everyone is fighting except for one person sitting in the corner watching...that person would be the borderline. I thought that’s horrible I would never do that. How mean. Years later I did it to an entire club without trying to. Someone was mean to me and of course I percieved about 10x worse than it was, and complained to someone else telling my side of the story.....and they got mad at the other person and people took sides. I left. I didnt understand how it happened because my reality seemed completely normal to me.

Overall I do pretty well now, until I don’t...lol. When something or more likely someone triggers me and I lose my ability to cope well because I experience my emotions sooooooooo intensely. Painfully so if they are negative but I also experience the positive more than most also.

I am married and have a pretty good relationship with my husband. I don’t have friends other than aquaintences because sooner or later I am going to act like the bpd person that I am and it’s going to cause problems which will involve feelings of pain and rejection for me.

I have never done the self injury thing but in the past used suicidal ideation as my go to coping skill. Three years of weekly therapy and dbt helped me to stop doing that. Now I just shop, drink wine, or eat to avoid or cope or just boost my mood.

Some one on this board recently wrote about the lack of support available from other people - I get that!! Other people can’t understand very well. I think the intensity with which we experience our emotions doesnt make sense to them.

We need to support each other because we get it.
We are all different in our own unique ways and there are several sub groups of bpd - I am in the sullen sulky moody one...lol. Most of the time though I am
Pretty happy.

Outside of bpd, I am a homemaker and love to create. I sew, make jewelry, paint, do machine embroidery, read, and love to cook (but I am on a diet now...)

Would love to hear from others here!

Laura

it is nice to meet you, laura.

I hope being here on the forum helps

Welcome to pc.


There is a lot of misinformation out there. DBT is often helpful. (that provider sounded like a jerk.... imho)