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Old 10-17-2020, 11:29 PM   #1
lark265
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Default to move on

I have been separated from my Borderline PD wife for a few years now. Historically, I tend to sabotage relationships and then agonize when I get dumped. A repeating behavior. Predicable. Ssooo after being dumped by my wife (after my usual behavior of basically being a jerk) I have had a very hard time "movng on." In the past, the woman has always been a bit more stable and when she did the breakup, she maintained clear and strong boundaries. But we have two kids together and I cannot go "No Contact" because of that. It's tough. In the past, I would go through a few months of major distress after a breakup and kind of carry on. Not this time. This is a different animal. My therapist smartly says that since the woman is not providing a strong wall, I have to provide it for myself. New stuff.
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Old Yesterday, 09:40 AM   #2
KBMK
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Default Re: to move on

Wow...TOUGH stuff. Great that you're getting help/advice for this. It wouldn't be a very unusual thing (I don't think) for someone to run away from such a testing situation. I'm guessing you'll have to develop some seriously high tech super strong boundaries, and the plus side is that you'll have those for all your future relationships, and your kids could well learn to develop healthy boundaries from your learning.
All power to you
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