9 affects spanking has on children

https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Why-Yo...-Kids-43925223

I agree, encouraging fear through spanking can cause damage a parent should know about before using spanking to control a child.

I got spanked periodically as a child but I trusted and loved my parents more than anything. It wasn't til Mom died I started having issues with Dad. I think the only time these things are true is if spanking is used abusively...and I don't believe that comes in a "one size fits all" type thing as in type of method used, but rather amount of force and attitude of the parent while doing it. I was spanked bare bottom at times. With belt at times. Open hand at times. But...always explained before and after how much I was loved but I cannot continue doing what I did. Spankings were only used on repeat offenses. I was never black n blued n never hit so hard I "couldn't sit down", but hit hard enough to smart and wound my pride enough to make sure I understood the rules. This is an important lesson, because later in life, people need to understand they need to obey the laws even if they don't like them.

i agree wit crypts. to many kids these days walk all over their parents, because they know they can get away it. or they use the threat " i wll call child services on you" back in my days, i had slippers thrown at me, i had chili red peppers almost put in my mouth. my dad just had to give us this look and we knew to keep our mouth shut or leave the room.

kids today lack respect and i partly blame social media and technology.

I'm mixed with this topic. As a child I got spanked if I was bad, but it was only my mom doing it. My father was I guess laid back but encouraged me to hate my mom. I used to curse at her, make her life miserable. My dad f2ked with my head so much as a kid. It wasn't till I was in eighth grade that I realized I was wrong about my mom. That she was the only one that loved me. My dad left around that time to. BE with his girlfriend. They broke up about a year later.
So back to spankings, I too think that kids are way out of control and disrespectFul. Maybe spankings were useful. Or maybe lack of all tech and gadgets now are to blame and lack of playing outside?

I was both spanked and beaten. I can tell the difference. Anyone can. My mom spanked me when I was unruley, and my dad beat me once or twice and I was black and blue from it. Big difference.

Kids these days are often raised to believe they can get what they want, when they want it. Entitlement. We need to be firmer with out children like my mother was to me, but not to the point of beating them black and blue like my father did to me.

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Children can be disciplined without resorting to hitting them.

Yes, they can be.

I was also
Given "time outs"
Grounded
Had items taken from me for a time
Put in a corner
Washed my mouth out with soap (by way of swishing)
Yelled at
Made to think up my own punishment

I'm sure many others as mom was creative, but, there were also times when spankings were what was appropriate in order to "get my attention".

None of those things were harmful to me then or now. However, as time has gone on...
Spankings
Yelling
Putting a child in a corner
Taking items from a child
Washing a child's mouth out with soap
And sometimes​ grounding (if deemed as "too often")

Can all now be reasons for a parent to be suspected of and possibly put under investigation for child abuse.

Children are losing respect for adults. I can understand why. We basically raise them to do that. Then later, when they are grown and have no respect for the law, we get all shocked and outraged. Honestly, if they were told by society at large all their lives "don't respect us", why does the number 18 mean they will suddenly start wanting to respect us?

No, respect isn't learned via violence. It's learned through love and patience and through consistency. But spanking a child doesn't equal violence. It also doesn't mean there is no love or no patience. Spanking a child is often a parent showing the ultimate statement of consistency "you cannot do this", but the parent can also buffer it with "I love you, that's not why this is happening. I don't love you any less. You just can't keep doing this." and offer loving hugs after a few minutes.

Spanking only equates to violence when done in a violent manner.

This is a topic very near and dear to my heart. I've spent years encouraging people to reconsider violent punishment towards the smallest and weakest in our society. But people continue to believe it's appropriate because that is what they were taught to believe and most people have confirmation bias. I've been ridiculed and viciously attacked for my stance on this. The majority of people in prison were spanked and if suggested they shouldn't spank their children they will say "it worked for me". None of the people who were spanked as children, including myself are the type of people I would consider mentally well role models.

Spanking does not stop bad behavior, it encourages being more sneaky and clever. Some will say and believe it stopped them but it's not true in most every case.

It's not ok to teach children that violence is an acceptable way to force someone to behave as you wish them to. For a giant person to put them hands violently onto a tiny child. We have too much violence in our society and anything which encourages it should be banned and illegal. Violence should be a crime, period. You hit your kid, they hit their sibling g so you hit them for it, it's madness!!! Some countries have banned it and I say hooray to them for moving past this barbaric practice.

I was encouraged to spanked my kids and did a few times which I deeply regret. I made a mistake and wish I could take it back to live with the integrity of the convictions I've had since I was spanked.

People who are pro spanking do not know the damage they do.....how they confirm the sbusive nature of people towards children. They used to say "there is no book on how to raise children". Through science we now have them and studies prove this method is a failure so this excuse no longer holds water unless a person can't read.

Still, people will hear my thoughts and scream in opposition because they want to protect their right to be violent and confirm their belief rather than grow. Someday we will know better and do better but for now children are being violently harmed every single minute. It has horrible consequences for society. We should be teaching people to keep there freaking hands off others unless their lives are in danger, not teaching people that violence is an acceptable way to make people act the way we want.

*down off soapbox but in my defense I'm trying to protect kids from harm, not encourage violence***

True, I agree. But a spanking is different than hitting. Very different.

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Spanking does not necessarily equate violence or beatings. There's a huge difference.
When I was spanked I learned my lesson. Such behavior was not to be tolerated and I never got sneakier or more difiant. I learned to respect my elders because of it.

In fact, a majority of those in jail weren't taught to have respect for others, had parents who either neglected them, or who let them do whatever whenever and they became entitled. Most kids who join gangs and engage in criminal activity are doing so because of the lack of a cohesive family unit at home. They just want a place where they feel they have family. A place they can belong to. It has nothing to do with being spanked whatsoever.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

I think its a good article. Spanking certainly taught me those things. Kinda funny, cuz later my parents couldnt figure out how this nice girl became such a good liar.

One point missing from the article - spanking demolishes boundaries, and thats bad. A child loses any sense of agency, and thinks the only way to have agency is by lying, distrust, etc.

I spanked my daughter once and I HATED how it made me feel. There was TOO MUCH spanking in my home growing up and IMHO, all it did was scare us and make us afraid of our parents.

After I felt the way I did when I spanked my daughter I decided that in my home there would be NO HITTING. I had a family meeting and said, "there will be NO HITTING in our home PERIOD".

However, it is a challenge to raise a child because they definitely test you. This however is a part of how they develop their intelligence. What a parent should do is first consider this and then teach a child how their actions will have consequences. It's important to understand that human beings are literally born "navigators". A parent is a constant influence on the child when it comes to "navigating". Children are also very persuaded by their piers and older siblings as well.

My older brother had a learning disability, at the time nothing was known about learning disabilities so unfortunately he was spanked and spanked way too much and it did nothing to help him.

What IS IMPORTANT is spending time with your children and provide "structure". Children are much happier with structure and learning how to gradually be productive and resourceful. The reason why children have become LAZY AND ENTITLED is because a lot of children are SPOILED and are given too much. And not only that but a lot of parents are working and have careers and spend less time with their children and tend to hand them "things" instead of being "there" for them.

I can honestly tell you the "lazy and entitled" attitude of children is just as prevalent in poor families (aka parents unable to spoil their children) as in the wealthier ones. I had a relationship with a person who had two children by someone else. All of us (minus the other parent) lived together. I have never once in my life been anywhere near wealthy, and we were just barely getting by. Usually had to get help from time to time. But, the children were very much all about threatening to call the police if they did not get their way. I never offered discipline bc they were not my children. Toward the end of the relationship, the one thing I did was make the daughter clean the wall she decided to mark all over. Honestly, wanna know the funny part? The person I was in a relationship with told me I was being abusive doing that.

So... there ya go. That's the mentality. "Punishment is abuse."

Who ends up in jail has more to do with poverty than entitlement. Do you know what happens to spoiled entitled rich kids who get a Porsche for their 16th b-day? They end up going to Harvard. Children who are raised in poverty are raised by very stressed parents. Stressed parents don't tend to have a lot of time to spend with kids so to discipline, they take the quick easy route and hit, and are left feeling they accomplished something because people still cheer spanking like it's a valid technique.

Those who don't get sneaky to avoid spankings never needed spanking to begin with. They are good kids who got hit for no reason. We need to encourage kids to use their words, not their firsts and we do this by example.

Fortunately spanking is on the decline with poor families struggling to catch up with the science due to a lack of education. Those who believe in spanking are on the wrong side of history as it will be banned eventually, as we continue to learn more about human behavior and humanity.

Again, your confusing spanking with beating and hitting. It's a common confusion, so it's okay.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

Those are the kinds of kids you get when discipline, respect and consequences aren't instilled from an early age.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

Spanking is hitting. A hard spanking is a beating. It's common sense.

Poverty doesn't equal laziness all the time. My mom and dad never had copious amounts of money, but they were far from lazy parents.

In fact mom was exemplary as a parent because my brother spent most of his early years in and out of hospitals. He was born with a cleft lip and the umbilical cord tied in a knot around his neck. At 5, he contracted leukemia and that took a huge toll on my family. He was spoiled because of this and because he was the baby of the family.

I think it was lack of discipline and being spoiled because of his problems that led to his being a rebellious teen, that and a sense of entitlement and invulnerability because he survived looking death in the face more than once. It was NOT due to lazy parenting and/or spanking.

To assume my parents are lazy is presumptuous at best. You don't know every person and every case personally. It's best not to judge a book by its cover, as the saying goes.

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[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

No. Spanking is definitely far from beating. It's super easy to confuse the two, so don't feel embarrassed about it.

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

I'm not embarrassed....the experts and studies show what I'm saying to be true. I know a lot of people who think they know more than experts, don't be embarrassed about it.