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Old 03-22-2018, 09:22 PM #81
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Default Re: dear mom and dad

Dear Dad,

I don’t care that you are old. I don’t care if you end up with something terminal.

You will die without ever seeing me again.
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The crisis text and phone numbers are at the top of the Depression forum in the gentle reminder. Here is a link to various crisis hotline numbers:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-...phone-numbers/
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Old 03-22-2018, 09:30 PM #82
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Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm no longer trapped in your house, a house you made it a point was yours and not mine, while I tried to grow up there and even after I moved back in decades later to help you. I'm now in my own home, and have time to clearly see that you did not understand my problems because you are not capable of understanding. I'm working to forgive you, but I'm not yet ready, even though it isn't all your fault. You do have the ability to learn the differences, but never will.
I'm enjoying my life, such as it is, now and really just trying to ease myself from all the damages My Life has done.
I don't miss you.
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Old 04-01-2018, 01:06 PM #83
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Default Re: dear mom and dad

My parents were not capable of understanding, either. They refused to admit to any wrong doing.
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Old 04-02-2018, 05:59 PM #84
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Dear mom,

An uncomfortable part of therapy has been realizing that you probably did as much damage to me as my father did. No, you weren't abusive like him. But unlike with him, I looked up to you, wanted your approval and affection, and internalized and judged myself according to your worldview.

I know you have always loved me. But that's not enough. A child is a child, not a miniature adult. You were very... pragmatic... not cold but certainly not warm, and never very good at pretending to like or be impressed by something you did not like or were not impressed by.
I learned quickly that you would be visibly relieved when I made it clear that I didn't expect you to be impressed by my popsicle stick crafts or tell me that my singing was good. But did you have to ask me not to sing around you because my tone deafness hurt?
Acknowledging that the things I made and did were not objectively impressive was one of the few things that I could tell earned your respect. You would have been disappointed in me if you'd known that sometimes I secretly wished that you'd pretend to like the arts and crafts we made in school the way my friends' parents did.
I learned not to show you anything I was proud of, because that was a recipe for disappointment and hurt feelings. You never intended to be cruel, but you couldn't bring yourself to pretend that you thought that a 10 year old's poetry was good, and you assumed that you weren't expected to. It was better for both of us that I just not show you anything I'd done.
We've talked about it now that I'm an adult, and I know that you now "get" that I'm not like you, and that you're sorry that you hurt me, but it still feels like you're disappointed that I'm not like you in this regard. I don't think that telling you this now would do any good. You already know I was hurt, and you're already sorry you hurt me. Knowing just how much damage it did wouldn't undo any of the damage, it would only cause you more pain. And you wouldn't be able to convincingly lie to me to reassure me that you weren't at least somewhat disappointed.

Once you said, "you know, I think I was never meant to be a mother," and instead of reassuring you I said, "no, probably not."
Your feelings weren't hurt, because it was the truth and you didn't expect or want me to lie to you—that's just the way you are, and I understand that now. It just would have been nice if you hadn't assumed throughout my childhood that I was that way as well.
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Old 04-03-2018, 12:27 PM #85
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I can completely relate to the alcohol use and missing my childhood because I was raising my younger sister while my mother drank and “entertained” men and left us home alone. She lives in denial claiming that We were only home alone while she worked and no one else is aware that she was gone for days at a time and slept or drank most of the time she was home. How dare I not be a better adult when I was a child? The nerve of me.
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Old 04-06-2018, 07:15 AM #86
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Dear Mom,

Why do you remember my childhood so differently from me?

Why wasn't I good enough?

Why did you leave me alone to fend for myself?

Why do you feel the need to control everything?

Why can't you take a look at yourself?
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Old 04-06-2018, 09:47 AM #87
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Dear Parental Units,

I was never good enough. Thank you for ensuring my awareness of that “fact”.

And thank you for being the Narcissistic A holes who only cared about Self.

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Old 03-02-2019, 11:30 AM #88
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Why did you pay a lot more attention to my brother? And did i really deserve all the name calling and beatings? Am i that bad of a daughter?
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Old 03-13-2019, 01:33 PM #89
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Default Re: dear mom and dad

Have you considered changing YOUR phone number and email address?


Regarding family/others still being in contact with both them and you, would you be better off to move away and cut ties from all of them, so that you can truly be free of your parents?


I'm thinking happy thoughts for you. I hope things get better soon.

Last edited by G lady; 03-13-2019 at 01:34 PM. Reason: it didn't post where I wanted it to
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Old 04-10-2019, 11:41 AM #90
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Default Re: dear mom and dad

Have you considered that YOU are all the ugly names you called me...
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