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Albatross2008
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Default May 15, 2018 at 07:06 PM
  #1
In general, I don't want words. I want changed behavior. But words do matter too. When you were growing up, what would have been helpful for you to hear? These are mine.

--You're good enough the way you are. You don't have to be way above average at everything to make me proud of you.

--It's OK that you're not as good at the chores as I am, or as fast. You're a child. You shouldn't be expected to do what an adult does, since you don't have the strength or the experience.

--You deserved better than I gave you.

--I see your point. I understand what you're trying to say. Sometimes it really is the other person's issue, not yours.

--It's OK to like whatever you like. You don't have to have the same tastes as I do. Just because I don't prefer the same music, or the same colors, or the same clothes, or the same TV shows, doesn't mean you're wrong.
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Default May 17, 2018 at 06:41 AM
  #2
"It's going to be alright. How can I help?"

"I'm here for you. Talk to me when your ready."

"I love you all equally"

"Don't listen to them; you're perfect just the way you are."

"It's okay to not want to take medication. Is there any way I can help you feel better?"

These are some of mine. My mom was never there for me as a kid and my dad's a workaholic.

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Default May 17, 2018 at 08:47 PM
  #3
"I'm proud of you"

"Your best is not the same everyday"

"It's okay to show feelings"

"I trust in the work that you do for me"

That is what I wanted to hear from my Dad. Sadly in my life I didn't say those to others due to not knowing any better, but now I know that I will in the future speak them.

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Default May 17, 2018 at 09:02 PM
  #4
"Stop watching TV all the time!" - but seriously we should have been disciplined more because that is a sign that a parent is actually involved in the child's life!

"Yes, I will go to your parent teacher conference"

"This is delicious!" My sis and I did all the cooking in the house for a while after my Mom started working again.

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Default May 18, 2018 at 12:21 PM
  #5
I love you.
I'm proud of you.
I'm glad you made it home safe from practice. Goodnight.
Have you gotten a chance to eat dinner? Are you hungry?
Do you have lunch money?
Let me know when you arrive safely.
What can I do to help?
I believe you.
I'm sorry.

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Default May 18, 2018 at 05:44 PM
  #6
Thanks everyone for these voices - they are right on target!
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Default May 18, 2018 at 05:46 PM
  #7
I wish my mom hadn't told me she never wanted kids. Even if I have an "accidental" child, I will never tell them that.
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Default May 18, 2018 at 06:54 PM
  #8
--The bullies didn't have any right to say that to you. It was mean of them.

(As opposed to they're just being kids, learn to take teasing, quit being so sensitive, what did you do to egg them on, etc.)
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Default May 18, 2018 at 10:21 PM
  #9
“It’s okay to be different. You aren’t hurting anybody. We accept you the way you are. You should too.”
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Default May 19, 2018 at 12:05 AM
  #10
--The skills you're good at are just as important in life as the skills you're not good at. You don't have to give up and stop doing something just because it doesn't come easily, or other people are better at it. Even if you're not good at it now, keep practicing, and you'll improve.

--You are not your behavior. We all do the wrong thing sometimes, and I still love you. Instead of rejecting you, I'll take the time to show you why it was wrong, and what to do next time.

--If I'm going to leave you in charge of your younger siblings, and hold you responsible if they get hurt, I'm also going to tell them to listen to you. It's only fair.

--You're going to make a fine, competent, worthy adult some day who can take care of herself.
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Default May 19, 2018 at 12:13 AM
  #11
--I'm not going to use "looking for a father for my kids" as an excuse to keep marrying the next abusive alcoholic that comes along. Instead, I'm going to work on myself and my own life, so I can attract a man who will actually make a good father.

--We're going to stop moving around and changing schools so much. We're going to stay where we are so you can get a stable, continual education in one spot.
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Default May 19, 2018 at 09:28 AM
  #12
We love you.

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Default May 20, 2018 at 04:08 PM
  #13
I accept you for who you are. You are good enough the way you are!

You're not being too sensitive. You have the right to feel hurt if people are mean to you.

Tell me why you feel the way you feel. I'm listening with love.

Instead of telling you to get over it and expecting you to just overcome the problem with no emotional support, let me help you with some compassion to get through it.
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Default May 21, 2018 at 06:25 AM
  #14
--I trust you to make the right choice for yourself, even if it isn't the same choice I would have made.
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Default May 21, 2018 at 06:29 AM
  #15
"I understand how you feel and it's okay to feel this way. There's nothing to be ashamed of."
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Default May 23, 2018 at 02:41 PM
  #16
"good night, love"

not difficult

" I love you"

" I'm proud of you"

" let's do something together"

"here, let me treat you"
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Default May 23, 2018 at 03:24 PM
  #17
I love you.

You're my little man and Mammy will always love you.

Sit you down when you're sad and listen to understand and not to reply.

Show compassion even when you're going through your own strifes.

Remember that children are sponges and while they may not remember what you said at the time, it may and will surface in the future.

Show an interest in your hobbies and not just an interest on why you're getting in trouble and stating how bold you are.

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Default May 23, 2018 at 03:27 PM
  #18
We accept you, exactly as you are, and we love you for being who you are. Nobody has ever said that to me and I think a lot of my self hatred comes from it.
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Default May 25, 2018 at 08:34 AM
  #19
- I love you and support you regardless.

- You're free to be whoever you want to be, and we'll always support you

Instead, I heard, "If you're someone we like, we'll still talk to you when you're older.", actual quote

And

"If you try to make yourself different from us, we'll distance ourselves from you."

Also, an actual quote. Didn't even realize this was anything other than normal until recently
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Default May 30, 2018 at 03:53 PM
  #20
"I love you"
"You look so pretty"
"Tell me what's troubling you"
"I will always protect you"
"You did so well today - I'm really proud of you"
"I will never use you as the messenger for the arguments I have with your dad"
"I love you and your brother equally - whatever I do for him I will do for you"
"Let's do something together - your choice"

I could go on ad infinitum. I am so messed up in the head. I have been diagnosed with childhood emotional neglect by a psychiatrist but knowing why I have so many problems does nothing to alter how impossible it seems to overcome any of them.
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