Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-15-2018, 07:06 PM #1
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

In general, I don't want words. I want changed behavior. But words do matter too. When you were growing up, what would have been helpful for you to hear? These are mine.

--You're good enough the way you are. You don't have to be way above average at everything to make me proud of you.

--It's OK that you're not as good at the chores as I am, or as fast. You're a child. You shouldn't be expected to do what an adult does, since you don't have the strength or the experience.

--You deserved better than I gave you.

--I see your point. I understand what you're trying to say. Sometimes it really is the other person's issue, not yours.

--It's OK to like whatever you like. You don't have to have the same tastes as I do. Just because I don't prefer the same music, or the same colors, or the same clothes, or the same TV shows, doesn't mean you're wrong.
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 05-17-2018, 06:41 AM #2
Spirit_'s Avatar
Spirit_ Spirit_ is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: United States, Ohio
Posts: 14
Spirit_ Spirit_ is offline
Junior Member
Spirit_'s Avatar
Spirit_ is dealing with Tachycardia.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: United States, Ohio
Posts: 14

1 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

"It's going to be alright. How can I help?"

"I'm here for you. Talk to me when your ready."

"I love you all equally"

"Don't listen to them; you're perfect just the way you are."

"It's okay to not want to take medication. Is there any way I can help you feel better?"

These are some of mine. My mom was never there for me as a kid and my dad's a workaholic.
__________________
"I'm not the one who wants to hurt you..."
I take things you say LITERALLY so please tell me if you're joking or I won't know.
Medications: Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Concerta, Seroquel, Triamcinolone, Xyzol, Some medication for my Tachycardia, and Flonase. I also get allergy shots.
Spirit_ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-17-2018, 08:47 PM #3
TheLifeFantastic's Avatar
TheLifeFantastic TheLifeFantastic is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 68
TheLifeFantastic TheLifeFantastic is offline
Member
TheLifeFantastic's Avatar
TheLifeFantastic Loading...
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 68

3 yr Member
23 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

"I'm proud of you"

"Your best is not the same everyday"

"It's okay to show feelings"

"I trust in the work that you do for me"

That is what I wanted to hear from my Dad. Sadly in my life I didn't say those to others due to not knowing any better, but now I know that I will in the future speak them.
__________________
How is your life today?
TheLifeFantastic is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-17-2018, 09:02 PM #4
twistypringle98's Avatar
twistypringle98 twistypringle98 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 304
twistypringle98 twistypringle98 is offline
Member
twistypringle98's Avatar
twistypringle98 Everything is never enough
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 304

1 yr Member
265 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

"Stop watching TV all the time!" - but seriously we should have been disciplined more because that is a sign that a parent is actually involved in the child's life!

"Yes, I will go to your parent teacher conference"

"This is delicious!" My sis and I did all the cooking in the house for a while after my Mom started working again.
__________________
Books I Like!
twistypringle98 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-18-2018, 12:21 PM #5
HowDoYouFeelMeow?'s Avatar
HowDoYouFeelMeow? HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 625
HowDoYouFeelMeow? HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline
Veteran Member
HowDoYouFeelMeow?'s Avatar
HowDoYouFeelMeow? has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 625

3 yr Member
667 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

I love you.
I'm proud of you.
I'm glad you made it home safe from practice. Goodnight.
Have you gotten a chance to eat dinner? Are you hungry?
Do you have lunch money?
Let me know when you arrive safely.
What can I do to help?
I believe you.
I'm sorry.
__________________
"I think I'm a hypochondriac. I sure hope so, otherwise I'm just about to die."

PTSD
OCD
Anxiety
Major Depressive Disorder (Severe & Recurrent)
HowDoYouFeelMeow? is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2018, 05:44 PM #6
malika138's Avatar
malika138 malika138 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: home
Posts: 236
malika138 malika138 is offline
Member
malika138's Avatar
malika138 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: home
Posts: 236

2 yr Member
486 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

Thanks everyone for these voices - they are right on target!
malika138 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-18-2018, 05:46 PM #7
downandlonely downandlonely is online now
Poohbah
Chat Moderator
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 2,403
downandlonely downandlonely is online now
Poohbah
Chat Moderator
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 2,403 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

I wish my mom hadn't told me she never wanted kids. Even if I have an "accidental" child, I will never tell them that.
downandlonely is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-18-2018, 06:54 PM #8
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

--The bullies didn't have any right to say that to you. It was mean of them.

(As opposed to they're just being kids, learn to take teasing, quit being so sensitive, what did you do to egg them on, etc.)
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-18-2018, 10:21 PM #9
A Hobbit's Avatar
A Hobbit A Hobbit is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 101
A Hobbit A Hobbit is offline
Member
A Hobbit's Avatar
A Hobbit has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 101

3 yr Member
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

“It’s okay to be different. You aren’t hurting anybody. We accept you the way you are. You should too.”
A Hobbit is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-19-2018, 12:05 AM #10
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default Re: Things your parents didn't say to you, but should have

--The skills you're good at are just as important in life as the skills you're not good at. You don't have to give up and stop doing something just because it doesn't come easily, or other people are better at it. Even if you're not good at it now, keep practicing, and you'll improve.

--You are not your behavior. We all do the wrong thing sometimes, and I still love you. Instead of rejecting you, I'll take the time to show you why it was wrong, and what to do next time.

--If I'm going to leave you in charge of your younger siblings, and hold you responsible if they get hurt, I'm also going to tell them to listen to you. It's only fair.

--You're going to make a fine, competent, worthy adult some day who can take care of herself.
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:13 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.