[theoneandonly1111]

Hey all,

After coming across an article about emotional abuse in parents, and signs of being a victim of it, I realised I ticked a lot of boxes. I did some more research and relate strongly to lots of the stories. My parents and I fight a lot, but I didn't think it was anything major. However I used to get bad depression living with them but after moving out I've been fine.

Here are some of the things that have brought me to this question;
- Often bring up how easy it is with my brothers (age 10 and 19) when i'm not around
- End arguments by telling me they hate me and never apologise for arguing
- Often remind me how problematic I am, and tell me how much easier their life would be without me, to the point where I told my friends about the fights and would say it's because
- After arguments they tell me I'm overreacting for being upset, whereas they shake it off after 5s (this happens EVERYTIME)
- Blame me for getting upset when my oldest brother is teasing me
- Disregard why I am upset and tell me it's stupid whenever I try to explain myself
- I play competitive sports and they applaud my wins but struggle to emotionally react to my losses, or will just snap and tell me I should have tried harder

There are a few other things on the tip of my tongue right now but I can't seem to find them. Anyway I have never been close emotionally to my parents, and I never tell them about my problems because they just brush them off. Recently I have noticed that I struggle to connect with people, and have trouble opening up to my close friends about literally anything. I am bad at empathising and struggle to be happy for m friends, until recently I didn't view cheating or stealing as that bad. I am terrified of rejection, making me kinda clingy, and overthink the tiniest of sounds. Also shouting scares me and makes me get aggressive very quickly. Writing this down now sounds kind of stupid and I am sorry my thoughts are such a mess.

If anyone else has experienced emotionally abusive parents or anything like this please let me know. Thanks for readig

[Skeezyks]

Hello theoneandonly: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Another forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...communication/

And then here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of emotional abuse that may help you to gain some insight into what you have experienced. Also included are 2 articles on the subject of toxic parents, & 1 on how to deal with difficult family members:

Signs of Emotional Abuse

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect | Childhood Emotional Neglect

3 Signs You Have Emotionally Neglectful Parents | Childhood Emotional Neglect

Recovering from Childhood Neglect

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...toxic-parents/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...toxic-parents/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...amily-members/

My best wishes to you...

I can really relate to the part about struggling to open up to anyone- though my emotionally abusive parents were to blame for that

everytime I would open up to them, they would either start getting emotionally abusive to me, or even use physical violence- so now that's what I asociate with opening up about my problems

I just wanted to say that. it's really affected me knowing them and living with them.

how do you cope with the situation you are in

it does sound like you have a lot to deal with

[Anatta]

Yes, from what you have described, that sounds absolutely like emotional abuse.

In my case, my parents manipulated and gaslighted me very frequently (which your parents could do as well considering the invalidation).

I find it to be very important to learn to fully trust and validate my own experience. This could be true for you as well because emotional abuse is more of a grey area than physical abuse (it can be hidden by the abusers well, the victimized do not show physical symptoms, it isn't openly talked about, people are callous to the damage that words cause)...

With that in mind, you have to keep reminding yourself this is your experience and you are a victim to their pain.

[Finding way]

Skeezyks - what a nice effort and resource you provide with your message. Thanks from a lurcker!

[Staying Inside]

Originally Posted by theoneandonly1111

Hey all,

After coming across an article about emotional abuse in parents, and signs of being a victim of it, I realised I ticked a lot of boxes. I did some more research and relate strongly to lots of the stories. My parents and I fight a lot, but I didn't think it was anything major. However I used to get bad depression living with them but after moving out I've been fine.

Here are some of the things that have brought me to this question;
- Often bring up how easy it is with my brothers (age 10 and 19) when i'm not around
- End arguments by telling me they hate me and never apologise for arguing
- Often remind me how problematic I am, and tell me how much easier their life would be without me, to the point where I told my friends about the fights and would say it's because
- After arguments they tell me I'm overreacting for being upset, whereas they shake it off after 5s (this happens EVERYTIME)
- Blame me for getting upset when my oldest brother is teasing me
- Disregard why I am upset and tell me it's stupid whenever I try to explain myself
- I play competitive sports and they applaud my wins but struggle to emotionally react to my losses, or will just snap and tell me I should have tried harder

There are a few other things on the tip of my tongue right now but I can't seem to find them. Anyway I have never been close emotionally to my parents, and I never tell them about my problems because they just brush them off. Recently I have noticed that I struggle to connect with people, and have trouble opening up to my close friends about literally anything. I am bad at empathising and struggle to be happy for m friends, until recently I didn't view cheating or stealing as that bad. I am terrified of rejection, making me kinda clingy, and overthink the tiniest of sounds. Also shouting scares me and makes me get aggressive very quickly. Writing this down now sounds kind of stupid and I am sorry my thoughts are such a mess.

If anyone else has experienced emotionally abusive parents or anything like this please let me know. Thanks for readig

I totally understand.