How do you love yourself..? - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-06-2018, 10:59 PM #1
Miryuiki's Avatar
Miryuiki Miryuiki is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Japan
Posts: 9
Miryuiki Miryuiki is offline
New Member
Miryuiki's Avatar
Miryuiki has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Japan
Posts: 9

24 hugs
given
Unhappy How do you love yourself..?

As a child, I was taught by everyone I associated with that whatever I did was wrong. That no matter what I did, it was wrong and if anyone had to suffer the aftermath of it, I were to be the blame for it. Even if it had nothing to do with me... Even by my own parents there were times where I felt so neglected that I thought I was adopted... Maybe I'd have a real family somewhere else...
This may not be the right place to post but I'm not sure because its also partially neglect but, does childhood neglect only come from parents?
What about the neglect we suffered while growing up.. by people whom we thought were friends but just merely used us as an excuse if anything happened and blamed anything on us because we were an easy target...

How do we love ourselves when from such a young age, we were taught that our happiness would only bring people pain... Whenever we want things our way or anything it's always wrong. But why is it ok when other people do it? How is it ok that they could hurt us without thinking of our feelings, yet when we hurt anyone , we get attacked by everyone... How is it that people that harmed us are always protected and we who try not to harm anyone always gets the blame...

This is why she got so exhausted... this is why she wanted to end her life... Because at the end of the day, she gets blamed for existing and she gets blame for trying to take the easy way out by ending her life... So when will it be ok for us to make our own decisions without getting blamed by the whole world..? When will we be able to stop thinking about other people...

But this is where self love comes in place right? For us to not care about anyone, for us to do what we want whether they like it or not... For us to just shut people off... This is why we rather not communicate with people.. because in the end, they always find ways to attack us... Are we such an easy target...?


Yumi.
__________________

Alters but not alters...?
May (Cold)
Yuki (Lost)
Yumi (Blur)
Hikari / Kairi (Hope)

Miryuiki is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 10-07-2018, 12:55 PM #2
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone Innerzone is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 7,266
Innerzone Innerzone is offline
Elder
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone is a clutz.
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 7,266 (SuperPoster!)

8 yr Member
21.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you love yourself..?

Hello, Miryuiki and welcome to the forums!

This is something I find difficult too. I think one of the keys are to beware of the automatic negative thoughts in your head. Have you ever done CBT? It can be helpful in that regard. Realizing that negative things people may have said are not necessarily the truth of the situation. You might try an exercise of writing some of the negative things you were told, then writing a countering positive statement to each.

Another thing I find helpful is to immerse yourself in doing things you love. It can help you gain a sense of who you are in a positive way.

Maybe I misunderstand your last paragraph, but I don't think loving yourself is about shutting people out and not caring about people or whether they like things or not. It's more understanding that you have an equal place in the world, an equal right to have your voice heard.

Hope you find something helpful here.
__________________
*********
Mr. Robot
How do you love yourself..?
Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure
Innerzone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-07-2018, 02:26 PM #3
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Apparition
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 17,348
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Apparition
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 17,348 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
12.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Re: How do you love yourself..?

Here are links to 6 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to love yourself. May they be of benefit...

The Basics of Self-Love

Learn to Love Yourself First

22 Ways to Love Yourself More | Happily Imperfect

How to Start Loving Yourself (Even When You Think There's Nothing to Love) | Happily Imperfect

How to Love Yourself: A Q&A with Christine Arylo of Madly In Love with ME | Weightless

https://psychcentral.com/blog/self-l...love-yourself/

Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-07-2018, 07:07 PM #4
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,351
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,351 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you love yourself..?

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-27-2018, 02:36 PM #5
KYWoman's Avatar
KYWoman KYWoman is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 229
KYWoman KYWoman is offline
Member
KYWoman's Avatar
KYWoman is sinking
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 229

1 yr Member
1,322 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you love yourself..?

For me, self love means learning to manage the toxic relationships in your life. People who make you feel bad don't deserve your time, or maybe only in small doses. I understand feeling like shutting out the world. The thing is, shutting out everyone deprives of you of those who truly do care. I have a lot of trust issues so making choices on who to trust is tricky. However, the risks are worth it and self love is much easier.
KYWoman is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-07-2018, 05:31 PM #6
BLUEDOVE's Avatar
BLUEDOVE BLUEDOVE is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2011
Posts: 786
BLUEDOVE BLUEDOVE is offline
Grand Member
BLUEDOVE's Avatar
BLUEDOVE has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2011
Posts: 786

5 yr Member
898 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you love yourself..?

Quote:"In order to love one's self,one must behave in ways
one can respect and admire."
BLUEDOVE is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-08-2018, 02:40 AM #7
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,459
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,459 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you love yourself..?

((((Miryuiki)))) I'm sorry you're struggling with your self-worth. Loving yourself means understanding that you're as deserving of love as everyone else in the world, and fighting the years of neglect and abuse you've had to go through. Do you see a therapist? Also, remember that there are good people out there, that will love you and care about you. We certainly care.
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:02 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.