Severley neglected as a child

So I skimmed a book on childhood neglect and it's like a big realisation. My father is a video game addict and would do the following, not answer when I spoke to him, mumble a response, get mad that I couldn't hear him. He never made eye contact when I spoke to him which made me feel extremely invalidated to my core as a human being. The only time he would make eye contact was when he was mad at me, I could never tell if it was a legitimate reason he was mad or because he is a snap case.

I have social anxiety disorder and it was so severe that I asked my mom if she could home school me on 2 or 3 occassions. The answer was allways no or I don't have time. Never why do you feel you want to be home schooled? What kid asks to be homeschooled?

The book I read referred to not what happened but what didn't happen!

My mom would allways drive my sister everywhere when she wanted to go to a friend's place. She would drive her both ways.

My dad would never let me go anywhere allways coming up with stupid excuses. When I finally was aloud to go somewhere my mom wouldn't drive me.

So I really didn't have any close friends growing up. I just sucked it up and figured I guess I don't need to go anywhere, played video games my entire childhood.

The book was great for identifying I was massively emotionally neglected as a child but what do I do now?

I'm sorry what you've been through, I recognize myself in a lot of what you write. It really is about the things that didn't happen, as you say. There's a lot of people on here that have been through the same as you, myself included. Just know that you are not alone. I don't know what you should do, but writing on this forum is a first great step. Can I ask you what book it was you were reading?

It's great that you've realized this! Now the next step is to start healing. Do you see a therapist?

I'm sorry you went through that. I can relate to so much of what you said. I stopped going to classes my senior year because of social anxiety, and my mom was totally cool with it, didn't care or even ask why.

Is the book Running on Empty? I've read some of that one.


You seem to have a lot of self-insight, which is awesome. I'd say seeing a counselor is the next step, if you're not already.

Hello Claudius: I just happened onto your post & noticed it was your first one here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

Here are links to 8 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of childhood emotional neglect & how to heal from it:

The 10 Lessons of Childhood Emotional Neglect | Childhood Emotional Neglect

Recovering from Childhood Neglect – Psych Central

5 Things You Must Do if You've Been Emotionally Neglected | Childhood Emotional Neglect

How Can Childhood Emotional Neglect Make You a Stronger Adult?

The Three Faces of Emptiness | Childhood Emotional Neglect

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...mpty-feelings/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ional-neglect/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ional-neglect/

I hope you're finding PC to be of benefit.