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Old 02-17-2019, 11:28 AM #21
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I'd suggest to try therapy again if you can, noonereally. I know it's hard to find a good therapist and yes, therapy can be painful, especially when you're dealing with your past, but I feel like it may really help you. I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience with that therapist. She definitely didn't treat you in the way you need and deserve. If you're able to find a therapist that you trust a bit more than the others, I'd suggest to talk to him and see how it goes from there. That's just my opinion though. The final decision is up to you. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. Just try to stay away from your parents as much as you can. Or at least ignore them. It's not your fault if they're struggling. You need to take care of yourself as well. And remember that you're NOT a failure! I hope you'll be able to find a job soon. I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences so far. Some employers can be really mean towards their workers. I hope things will get better soon for you. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Stay strong, noonereally. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 02-17-2019, 02:11 PM #22
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It may not be your fault. There are some really bad jobs/employers out there--I am always very leery of employers who pay by commission only. With time, you will get good about recognizing which ones to stay away from. Eventually/hopefully, you will find a good job. Keep looking.



Parents make a lot of mistakes. It sounds like your mom is struggling too (which is not your problem, just keep that in mind on the days she causes problems). Don't hesistate to take any of the help she offers. If she cosigns on an apartment for you--this is a loving act which will help you move on/become more independent. With time, I think that having your own place will enable you to have more perspective on the situation with your parents (I am not say they are good or bad--only that you need time and distance to put it all behind you). Hugs.
well these were like real places. one of them was a private school and they just stop giving me pay checks and tried to steal my bank account but i don't have proof that was them and ive been talking to lawyers about it. the other job that did this was a gym, they pretended to hire me and had me go in for training twice and then on the third day i went in there was no one there to train me, i worked a whole shift by myself, and then they told me i wasn't really hired and they couldn't pay me for the full shift/not training i did because they don't pay for training (even though it wasn't). it's just that no matter where i go ppl just see me as an opportunity to take advantage of someone. also that job was working w/ kids/ watching them. i bet the parents would have been pissed if they knew someone who apparently didn't even work there was left alone with their kids all day. but anyway w/e


and yeah i'm going to take the help. the problem with all of that is that a lot of apartments don't want to accept cosigns. i have enough money saved up to pay for everything for a few months while looking for a job but and i have good credit but they don't care about that, they think if someone else has to sign for it it means im not reliable and so that's why idk if i'm ever going to find something. (i'll have to get a job first which is rly difficult to do here which puts me back in a cycle of things i need to do but can't until something else which i can't do because of that first thing)
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Old 02-17-2019, 07:22 PM #23
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Default Re: Narcasistic abuse still on going

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?
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Old 02-17-2019, 08:55 PM #24
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If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?
just turned 27 lol.... i hate being asked this bc i am embarrassed af
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Old 02-17-2019, 09:45 PM #25
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Don't be embarrassed. It's okay. I thought maybe you were older.
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Old 02-17-2019, 09:58 PM #26
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Don't be embarrassed. It's okay. I thought maybe you were older.
i'm glad i'm not lol but if i don't get out soon i will still be here when it's really embarrassing. luckily where i live it's not so uncommon for people to still live with their parents at this age. i mean like i have neighbors a year + older than me still living with theirs, but i still feel really awful about being stuck in this situation for this many years.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:07 AM #27
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No need to be ashamed of yourself, noonereally! It's not your fault. Like you've said, lots of people still live with their parents. It's not that easy. Sometimes we just can't for one reason or the other. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:13 PM #28
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No need to be ashamed of yourself, noonereally! It's not your fault. Like you've said, lots of people still live with their parents. It's not that easy. Sometimes we just can't for one reason or the other. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
thank you, i appreciate it
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Old 02-23-2019, 06:27 PM #29
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[QUOTE=noonereally;6439411]i've tried therapy a bunch of times but i've had horrible luck. i have insurance right now but that's only because i'm not working, if i get a job and make over a certain amount i lose the insurance i have.
anyway a few years because i was going to this therapist who was supposedly really good (and really expensive). she basically told me that because of the way i was people were going to take advantage of me. i tried really hard to do the stuff she told me but she honestly treated me with little respect and took advantage of me herself. she lied to me about when she had availability for me to make appointments, i could tell she didn't like me, and the last time i went to her before i decided to not put up with this anymore, she tried to make me give her my phone and had a fit that i "didn't trust her enough". she even said something like "you don't let people see you're phone? what does your mom think about this?" which really pissed me off because it's like she was manipulating me the same way they do and using them to do it. i've just had a really hard time trusting therapists since then. i've tried a few others since that but i don't feel like im getting help from them and i don't feel like they understand. and i don't want to waste

A good idea, is to interview some therapists over the phone, and explain your problem, that way you will know if they can help.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:52 PM #30
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i've tried therapy a bunch of times but i've had horrible luck. i have insurance right now but that's only because i'm not working, if i get a job and make over a certain amount i lose the insurance i have.
anyway a few years because i was going to this therapist who was supposedly really good (and really expensive). she basically told me that because of the way i was people were going to take advantage of me. i tried really hard to do the stuff she told me but she honestly treated me with little respect and took advantage of me herself. she lied to me about when she had availability for me to make appointments, i could tell she didn't like me, and the last time i went to her before i decided to not put up with this anymore, she tried to make me give her my phone and had a fit that i "didn't trust her enough". she even said something like "you don't let people see you're phone? what does your mom think about this?" which really pissed me off because it's like she was manipulating me the same way they do and using them to do it. i've just had a really hard time trusting therapists since then. i've tried a few others since that but i don't feel like im getting help from them and i don't feel like they understand. and i don't want to waste money
Gosh,noonereally. I am really sorry you have had such bad treatment from the therapists.I have had bad experience with therapists and counsellors too,some of them are nasty and narcissists themselves,you don't want to be wasting your time and money to be abused and taken advantage of.But don't give up completely,ask around for word of mouth recommendations,there are good therapists out there that can help,it took me years but I found one that is good and she is NHS so I get her help for free,I know it's different in the US.But I am sure you can find one that will help you but it takes time.If you have had a bad experience at home you can check out all the narcissist material and codependency on google,there is a lot of stuff that helped me.My family were narcissists I don't know if your situation is the same?
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