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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#21
I'd suggest to try therapy again if you can, noonereally. I know it's hard to find a good therapist and yes, therapy can be painful, especially when you're dealing with your past, but I feel like it may really help you. I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience with that therapist. She definitely didn't treat you in the way you need and deserve. If you're able to find a therapist that you trust a bit more than the others, I'd suggest to talk to him and see how it goes from there. That's just my opinion though. The final decision is up to you. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. Just try to stay away from your parents as much as you can. Or at least ignore them. It's not your fault if they're struggling. You need to take care of yourself as well. And remember that you're NOT a failure! I hope you'll be able to find a job soon. I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences so far. Some employers can be really mean towards their workers. I hope things will get better soon for you. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Stay strong, noonereally. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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noonereally
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: ny
Posts: 13
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#22
Quote:
and yeah i'm going to take the help. the problem with all of that is that a lot of apartments don't want to accept cosigns. i have enough money saved up to pay for everything for a few months while looking for a job but and i have good credit but they don't care about that, they think if someone else has to sign for it it means im not reliable and so that's why idk if i'm ever going to find something. (i'll have to get a job first which is rly difficult to do here which puts me back in a cycle of things i need to do but can't until something else which i can't do because of that first thing) |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
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#23
If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: ny
Posts: 13
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#24
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KD1980, MickeyCheeky, Travelinglady
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,023
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#25
Don't be embarrassed. It's okay. I thought maybe you were older.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: ny
Posts: 13
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#26
i'm glad i'm not lol but if i don't get out soon i will still be here when it's really embarrassing. luckily where i live it's not so uncommon for people to still live with their parents at this age. i mean like i have neighbors a year + older than me still living with theirs, but i still feel really awful about being stuck in this situation for this many years.
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MickeyCheeky, Travelinglady
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MickeyCheeky, Travelinglady
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#27
No need to be ashamed of yourself, noonereally! It's not your fault. Like you've said, lots of people still live with their parents. It's not that easy. Sometimes we just can't for one reason or the other. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Travelinglady
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: ny
Posts: 13
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#28
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Travelinglady
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
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#29
[QUOTE=noonereally;6439411]i've tried therapy a bunch of times but i've had horrible luck. i have insurance right now but that's only because i'm not working, if i get a job and make over a certain amount i lose the insurance i have.
anyway a few years because i was going to this therapist who was supposedly really good (and really expensive). she basically told me that because of the way i was people were going to take advantage of me. i tried really hard to do the stuff she told me but she honestly treated me with little respect and took advantage of me herself. she lied to me about when she had availability for me to make appointments, i could tell she didn't like me, and the last time i went to her before i decided to not put up with this anymore, she tried to make me give her my phone and had a fit that i "didn't trust her enough". she even said something like "you don't let people see you're phone? what does your mom think about this?" which really pissed me off because it's like she was manipulating me the same way they do and using them to do it. i've just had a really hard time trusting therapists since then. i've tried a few others since that but i don't feel like im getting help from them and i don't feel like they understand. and i don't want to waste A good idea, is to interview some therapists over the phone, and explain your problem, that way you will know if they can help. |
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noonereally
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
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#30
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noonereally
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#31
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: ny
Posts: 13
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#32
update just in case anyone is interested: i just signed the lease for an apartment. havent moved in yet but will within the next few weeks. i'm a little excited but really nervous. i still dont have a job so im just emptying my savings account right now but if i don't do this i will never change, i'll never get away, and my life will never get better. it's really terrifying though but this is the first time in years ive actually been brave enough to put fear aside and change something
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Open Eyes
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
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#33
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Well done you!You did it noonreally,feel the fear and do it anyway.It will all work out well and you made it you took the first step,work your way through this slowly and you will navigate through the fear and take the next step,finding a job.More power to you,you can do it! |
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noonereally
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noonereally
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,326
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#34
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