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Dee99
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Member Since: May 2019
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Default May 03, 2019 at 08:56 PM
  #1
This is my first time on this site, and first time posting a thread so my apologies if I do anything wrong.

But, I have been having suicidal thoughts/unhealthy behaviors since I was around 11. I am 20 now, and am still having the same issues.
I was homeschooled my whole life, in a small town, with a very tiny family. Because of this, I did not have any friends and didn't socialize unless I had to. I didn't have birthday parties, I rarely took trips with my mom, sister, and somewhat emotionally abusive father.

My most common issues are feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, feeling undeserving, and as if no matter what I do I'll never be happy.
I guess what I'm really trying to ask, is if anyone else has had these issues, or knows how I can cope with them.
I apologize for my long rambling story, I thought maybe some details would help.
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Blackice1993
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Default May 05, 2019 at 08:29 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee99 View Post
This is my first time on this site, and first time posting a thread so my apologies if I do anything wrong.

But, I have been having suicidal thoughts/unhealthy behaviors since I was around 11. I am 20 now, and am still having the same issues.
I was homeschooled my whole life, in a small town, with a very tiny family. Because of this, I did not have any friends and didn't socialize unless I had to. I didn't have birthday parties, I rarely took trips with my mom, sister, and somewhat emotionally abusive father.

My most common issues are feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, feeling undeserving, and as if no matter what I do I'll never be happy.
I guess what I'm really trying to ask, is if anyone else has had these issues, or knows how I can cope with them.
I apologize for my long rambling story, I thought maybe some details would help.
You mentioned that your father was somewhat emotionally abusive, so the possibility is there. The feelings you have sound like the feelings someone would have if their feelings weren't validated enough as a child i.e unmet emotional needs. Were you by any chance criticized a lot? If you were upset, did your parents listen to you? Or did they simply remain quiet most of the time?

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OCD1972
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Default May 08, 2019 at 11:21 PM
  #3
I didn't even began to learn about my self worth until I got out on my own and away from my parent's house which was when I was 20. I had to live with roommates because I didn't make much money but it was much better that being around my abusive mother. What is your situation now? It's a big world out there which can be scary but there are people who are kind and supportive. Have you tried counseling? If not it may be a good place to start. For myself counseling along with psych meds makes my life manageable. But sometimes just being around nurturing people is enough. I also attend a support group for people with mental illness which is free. I have been mentally ill since I was 13. The support group is called NAMI and I believe they have chapters all across the U.S. I'm so glad you reached out and posted! And all my best to you!

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Default May 15, 2019 at 06:22 AM
  #4
Dee many here suffer from the emotional abuse of their parents.

The way you feel is normal. I did see research that suggests our brains are wired differently.

I have found a good deal of support from reading a book by Pete Walker.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTS...s%2C148&sr=8-1

It is not a cure but helps me manage better.

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