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Old 06-22-2019, 01:39 PM   #11
Perunica
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

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Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
I think if you slowly continue to distance yourself you will feel much better. Just know that on the few occasions you see them, it will feel uncomfortable. Iím sorry you have to experience this. Iíve been there and I definitely know how hard it is.
I am becoming more and more distant, and our conversations are reduced to a minimum now. My mother thinks I'm ungrateful. Sometimes I envy people that have loving and understanding parents.
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:06 PM   #12
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

it's sad that parents are like this.

I don't speak to mine either now, and though it's a good thing (they were very very abusive) it's sad

I'll never get another set of parents. they are the only ones i'll get and I can't rely on them for support

I just think it's sad
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:07 PM   #13
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

is anyone else sad that they don't speak to their parents?
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:09 PM   #14
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

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Hi to everyone,
Iím new on this forum! Sorry for my English itís not my primar language.
Iím 40 years old, and Iím still struggling with issues with my parents. I always used to have very conlictual relationship with them. My father is a narcissist, an overt one, and my mother codependent. I never really feel loved, I always perceived that my parents love was conditional, and I had to fulfill they expectations. As soon as I could I left home, and went to live in another country (I was 23).
Now I see them 2 or 3 times a year, they usually visit me for 3-4 days, once a year, and I visit them 2 times a year for 3 days. I respect them but I donít feel any love for them. Now they are at my home, visiting me, but I feel so irritaded all the time. Iím trying not to react on the things that bother me, but Iím so bad mooded all the time, I have troubles breathing, got some joint pains and Iím so nervous. They donít really care for my bad mood, they donít even notice. They just care about stuff I do, they take photos of my achievements to show off to their friends, saying they are proud of me. Other times I would get upset with some things they do or say to me, and we get into a conflict, then they usually tell me that I have a horrible character. When they leave I usually feel regret an guilt that I feel so irritated by them. I donít know how to deal with this. I donít feel any love, just an obligation and need to make them feel fine. How can I overcome this feeling, and how can I stop feeling stressed when I see them?
You don't have to love your parents. Just because one of your father's sperms fertilized one of your mother's eggs which nine months later became you doesn't mean you have to love them or like them. It doesn't make them your family either. You decide who your family is, and it has nothing to do with biological origins.

Stop feeling obligation toward them, especially since they make you feel so bad. Maybe stop visiting them and stop allowing them to visit you and just communicate via e-mail from now on, or if what you really want is to have them out of your life for good, then do it. You owe them NOTHING.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:16 PM   #15
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I have never liked my parents and have always wanted to get away from them. when people say that they love their parents I don't know what they are talking about. I am still stuck with them. they have completely ruined my life. I am in utter confinement and trapped in every way and I long for the day they are dead so I can finally live.
I know exactly how you feel. I feel so much bitterness and rage toward my parents. They were neglectful of their children, emotionally and physically. After my dad died a few years ago, my mother suddenly became all lovey-dovey and supportive because of course now she's alone and so wants to pretend with her children that she was a loving, wonderful mother, which is as far from the truth as it's possible to be (I can't imagine a colder, more disinterested or uncaring mother!).

I stopped speaking to her regularly about a year and a half ago and five months ago told her I want no contact with her, and I told her why and blocked her number.

Anyway, when I see parents on TV loving and supporting their kids, I feel like you: I just don't get it. It makes me cry because I'd give anything to have had loving parents. Their neglect and indifference has screwed me up so completely, I've lived in a dark hole since I was a little kid.
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Old 06-28-2019, 11:35 AM   #16
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

how are you doing?

not seen you post to this thread for a while..
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Old 10-09-2019, 12:25 AM   #17
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

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Originally Posted by Wildeve View Post
You don't have to love your parents. Just because one of your father's sperms fertilized one of your mother's eggs which nine months later became you doesn't mean you have to love them or like them. It doesn't make them your family either. You decide who your family is, and it has nothing to do with biological origins.

Stop feeling obligation toward them, especially since they make you feel so bad. Maybe stop visiting them and stop allowing them to visit you and just communicate via e-mail from now on, or if what you really want is to have them out of your life for good, then do it. You owe them NOTHING.
I haven't seen or spoken to my parents for years. I would eventually start talking again for a short time but I'd get sucked back into the negative feeling like I'm a loser and a fami!y embarrassment of they would constantly talk about my brother, and how he was killing it i.e. Money, job, professional standing, etc. I'm glad he .com g well but my parents did it to reinforce my place. So I finally figured out FORGET THEM and stopped communicating.
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Old 10-15-2019, 12:34 PM   #18
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Default Re: I donít feel any love towards my parents

Yeah, it makes me sad, but when I try it's a disaster and only brings me stress. Right now I am in a very difficult work situation that will probably lead to my losing my job. I haven't told anyone in my family. I feel like I am only going to be made to feel worse if I did.
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