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Anonymous48813
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Unhappy May 18, 2019 at 05:56 PM
  #1
there such thing as therapist putting ideas into your head?

For example my therapist thought after 2 years having therapy with them, and was daignose with borderline personality disorder and done the DBT group therapy treatment which takes two rounds to do it. Meaning you have to do it twice and that's for everyone. Which takes a year and a half to complete and its once weekly for 2 hours. Your not suppose to have time off 4 in a row. If so your kicked out and have to wait till you can start again. On top of that individual therapy. So it was intense. Anyway, my therapist had this idea I'm "high function" aspergers. My family doesnt think I am. But I did the screen test for it anyway with my therapist.

But the thing is I've become obsessed about it. I googled what is aspergers go on YouTube listening to videos of aspergers. Talk to my partner about it. So it becomes obsessive subject.

I do experience OCD, so I dont know if it's my OCD kicking in.

Then just this Friday. I told my therapist about my habit of looking at porn when I feel sad or have a sore tummy. I told them honestly about how I use to masterbate even under age of 5. My therapist thought this was odd for under 5 to do this. How I did it when I was young and my parents told me off for it. But I never understood what I was doing, or why it was even bad. Even at primary school when we reached around age of 10 we had class about growing into teenager hood and about sex. They didnt told us sex or how it worked just about I guess growing up into this new mode of life. But I even thought at a young age in class how sex is bad , dirty.
Anyway conversation lead to me telling my therapist how couple years a go my mum told me this masterbation habit I did when I was young that I got this idea from my cousin.

So my therapist thought maybe I was sexually abused. I have no record of memory of this. It scared me when she told me this. I even had hot flashes on my cheeks about this idea during therapy session. I even told my therapist I had hot flushes in my cheeks but it seemed they dismissed me what I said or didnt actually listen. Anyway, my therapist told me to ask my mum about it.

So I did. I was hoping it would come to none thing and I misheard what my mum said couple years ago.
Then my mum told me that I told her below the age of 5 that my cousin told me to masterbate that way. I dont even remember telling my mum this. But my mum remembers. It scares me I dont recalled this at all. The possibility I may either be sexually abused by my felmale cousin who is 3 years older than me. Or just force me to do it.
I dont know.

But I have become obsessive about it. I have started researching on google signs of sexual abuse listen to therapist what they say on google. I've become very anxious and scared. I thought if I looked in my mum's draws in her bedroom I would find some thing but I didnt. I've become paranoid.
I have experience this anxiety and paranoid when I had this stupid love transference/sexual thoughts with a pervious therapist I had. Its same feeling of paranoid
And anxiety. My tummy hurts with the anxiety..
I'm scared I'm going back that way again..I dont want too because when Inwas like that. My immunity dropped constantly got sick with colds and keep having thrush downstairs. I was self.harming and suicidal thoughts. I wasnt even able to focus or do anything. I struggle to eat because of my anxiety and lost weight.

Even my partner talk to me about it hour and half. I'm.still anxious about it.
I dont know what to do. I'm even too scared to go back to therapy. Incase my therapist suggest another idea that scares me. My imagtion creating vidi images of my mind what happened. But I know just my mind filling in blank spaces and just flase memories.

Help!
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Anonymous41006
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Unhappy May 18, 2019 at 06:15 PM
  #2
Therapists shouldn't push their clients at a pace faster than the client is ready to process ... That only serves to further traumatize the client.

Google, explore and compare Complex-PTSD vs. Borderline Personality Disorder.

Let your therapist know she's pushing you to process stuff too fast.

If we are becoming so overwhelmed we cannot function, then in my opinion it is not good therapy.

I've been working on my process for 26 years now.

I had two complete breakdowns early on.

I was useless.

That is not a good place to be in.

Especially if you are your sole means of support.

It is okay to set boundaries with your therapist!

If they aren't willing to work with you at your pace, then it's time to start looking for one that will.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Last edited by Anonymous41006; May 18, 2019 at 06:30 PM..
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Default May 19, 2019 at 02:34 PM
  #3
I wish you luck with finding a therapist who is willing to work with you at your pace... if they are not.. I’ve found they are useless

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