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Anonymous46912
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 11:58 AM
  #1
I feel like I sometimes I am so disconnected from people or there is something missing. I watch groups of friends or family members bond and feel connected and I just don't get it.

My social skills are still developing and sometimes i find conversation hard or prolonged engagement hard, but i think that is in part because i am introvert and also because I am still building up that social muscle of actually engaging with people, after spending decades of avoiding people in general. This being said I still feel like there is a glass barrier between me and friends. At times during my last relationship I would sometimes feel nothing and confused about if I loved or even liked them. I would kiss them passionately then think to myself I felt nothing. I know this isn't true because I had a lot of love for that person, but I know the disconnect along with a lot of my other MH issues and their own stuff led us to break up.

I feel like this is stopping me from feeling connected to people and I don't know what that is or how that feels and often feel overwhelmed from people. I also think I could disappear from these peoples lives and it would mean nothing to them.
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 03:23 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by 502041 View Post
I feel like I sometimes I am so disconnected from people or there is something missing. I feel like this is stopping me from feeling connected to people and I don't know what that is or how that feels and often feel overwhelmed from people. I also think I could disappear from these peoples lives and it would mean nothing to them.
I feel the same. I feel like every single interaction I have with people makes *me* feel bad in some way.

Don't feel like learning to have good social skills will help. Thought talking to people is a slog over the years I have learned to be very gracious and able to hold a long conversation. So from the outside people feel like I am potentially an extrovert but on the inside I am dying inside and just hoping the talking will end soon.

No one does give two shits about me at all.. this includes my sister and brother who are supposed to care about me more than all.
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Poiuytl
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 04:30 PM
  #3
I have similar problems, at times, and with most people except some. I believe it does have something to do with communication skills, and with my relationship to myself. People like it when I connect to them genuinely, and only then they connect back, and I feel connected. Others, many others, feel I cannot connect, so they don't, and there is no connection. Another important factor is expectations. Many people do not like it if I expect something from them. They disengage, I start disliking them for that, and there goes friendship.
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Blackice1993
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Default Jun 02, 2019 at 07:04 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by 502041 View Post
I feel like I sometimes I am so disconnected from people or there is something missing. I watch groups of friends or family members bond and feel connected and I just don't get it.

My social skills are still developing and sometimes i find conversation hard or prolonged engagement hard, but i think that is in part because i am introvert and also because I am still building up that social muscle of actually engaging with people, after spending decades of avoiding people in general. This being said I still feel like there is a glass barrier between me and friends. At times during my last relationship I would sometimes feel nothing and confused about if I loved or even liked them. I would kiss them passionately then think to myself I felt nothing. I know this isn't true because I had a lot of love for that person, but I know the disconnect along with a lot of my other MH issues and their own stuff led us to break up.

I feel like this is stopping me from feeling connected to people and I don't know what that is or how that feels and often feel overwhelmed from people. I also think I could disappear from these peoples lives and it would mean nothing to them.
Sounds like you have trouble connecting with your emotions. Usually, when a person suffers from CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect) they have difficulty in pinpointing what they feel. You also think that if you disappeared from the lives of your friends and family, then your disappearance wouldn't mean anything to them which points to low self-esteem.

Here are some signs of CEN. See if you can relate to any of these:

1. Feeling cut off from your emotions which leads to feelings of isolation or lack of belonging anywhere in the world
2. Low self-esteem or shame
3. Being very hard on yourself
4. A feeling of being 'hollow' inside, as if you have a hole inside of your chest that seemingly nothing can fill. You can think of it as being 'dead' inside.
5. Strong fear of rejection

If your family was dismissive whenever you expressed any 'negative' emotions (anger, sadness, being upset etc) by ignoring you, staying quiet when you brought up how bad you felt, or telling you to get over it (so basically, if you had to suppress your emotions because they weren't approved of) then this is pretty much the result.

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Want some tips on overcoming low-self esteem, Childhood Emotional Neglect or improving yourself? Check my blog!

https://authenticyou93.blogspot.com/
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TheReverse
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Default Jul 28, 2019 at 04:11 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by 502041 View Post
I feel like I sometimes I am so disconnected from people or there is something missing. I watch groups of friends or family members bond and feel connected and I just don't get it.

My social skills are still developing and sometimes i find conversation hard or prolonged engagement hard, but i think that is in part because i am introvert and also because I am still building up that social muscle of actually engaging with people, after spending decades of avoiding people in general. This being said I still feel like there is a glass barrier between me and friends. At times during my last relationship I would sometimes feel nothing and confused about if I loved or even liked them. I would kiss them passionately then think to myself I felt nothing. I know this isn't true because I had a lot of love for that person, but I know the disconnect along with a lot of my other MH issues and their own stuff led us to break up.

I feel like this is stopping me from feeling connected to people and I don't know what that is or how that feels and often feel overwhelmed from people. I also think I could disappear from these peoples lives and it would mean nothing to them.
I understand the feeling. I was a big introvert as a child/teen. I was also raised in a religious sect that isolated me from others and made it difficult to relate to others and form friendships. As I've grown older, I've been able to fine-tune my social skills so that I get along with most people and can talk casually and even deeply on some personal topics with people. With time and practice, it will become better. However, there is always that lingering glass because you don't ever want to let people in. Friendships grow because you share things you like or don't like. It was hard at first. Being a bit non-emotional and very guarded, forming lasting friendships was difficult and sometimes seemed like a chore. But you'll get there.
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