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Old 10-19-2019, 03:05 PM   #1
raging vortex
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Default to those who only knew one of their parents

how did you cope with it, and if you had the chance to meet your other parent, would you have wanted to?

I never met my father (left the country after I was born), and for the first few years of life (actually scrap that, until I was about 19) I really wanted to meet him and know what he was like (my mother sucked as a parent, their's no getting away from that,) but maybe my father would have been diffrent

but now I'm not even living with my family, and the chapter's closed. I think about him still (sometimes), but I think if I got the chance to meet him now I'd pass

what about everyone here
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Old 10-19-2019, 04:18 PM   #2
nicoleflynn
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I met my father when Iwas 32......growing up, I didn't think too much about not having a father around. Why is the chapter closed on meeting him?
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Old 10-20-2019, 05:54 AM   #3
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Default Re: to those who only knew one of their parents

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
I met my father when Iwas 32......growing up, I didn't think too much about not having a father around. Why is the chapter closed on meeting him?


I don't speak to my family anymore (abuse), and they've forbidden me from any contact.

I've moved on anyway: I live alone now in an abusive free place.

if I met him and he turned out to be abusive, well.. it would all start again
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Old 11-25-2019, 10:24 PM   #4
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Old 12-01-2019, 01:42 PM   #5
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Default Re: to those who only knew one of their parents

I had 2 parents until I was age six. I adored my father. But he was seeing a woman outside of his marriage to my mom, and one day he just disappeared. I was devastated. I became extremely depressed and anxious.

After that, I saw him one or two times per year, but he was a stranger to me.

I never did cope with my father's absence well. It hurt then and it still hurts. I'm in therapy; something I'm learning is that it was not my fault that my father left me. He had major issues that he hadn't resolved.
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Old 02-13-2020, 10:25 AM   #6
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Default Re: to those who only knew one of their parents

My mum bailed when I was 8. She lied to my dad, my older brother, my younger sister and I about having leukemia. She would get my dad to drop her at the hospital for 'treatment' and then go to the pub and blow our rent money. Dad caught her in their bed with another guy. Dad tried to make it work so we moved from Mt Isa to Brisbane. Not long after, she disappeared when I went to school one day. Apparently a few months later she returned and took my younger sister with her. Dad found out eventually that all the money he had been giving her for rent, was never paid. It took him a long time to recover financially, especially with 2 kids to support. Dad worked all the time so we were in after school care, school holiday care, baby sat by randoms etc most of the time when not in school. We had no family or other support in Brisbane. I barely saw my mother after that. She moved to a different state and remarried some guy for money. I recall asking her if I could live with her when I was around 12 or 13 and she said no. I recall feeling very sad because my sister had so many toys and barbie dolls and a bike. Dad couldn't afford school uniforms let alone toys! Mum never even sent my brother and I birthday presents. I don't have any memories prior to about 12 or 13 years old. Not one. Obviously I know what happened as my dad and brother have talked about it over the years, but when I try to recall my own memories of it, I have nothing. Not even a snippet prior to 12 or 13. She finally tried to be a mum when I was 21. I became whatever she wanted me to be. I think I just wanted her to love me. Years later, I started to get these anger outbursts towards random people that tried to hurt me or my family. Mum screwed me over a few more times and I eventually cut contact with her for around 3 years. I have only just recently started talking to her again because I had a baby. I am very guarded and do not allow her in my emotional space. I let her see her grand daughter occasionally that's as far as it goes. My dad is still the best person in my life. He did his best for us at a time when his whole world fell apart. Unfortunately that meant I lost him when I lost her. He was always working and never had time to spend with us. I'm angry at her for taking that from us. My dad is my hero. He is the only person in the world that truly understands me.
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Old 02-14-2020, 07:47 AM   #7
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Default Re: to those who only knew one of their parents

I only had a mom (abusive) and never knew my father (met him when I was 30)
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