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Old 11-18-2019, 11:21 PM   #1
Saddyy
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Confused Father Emotional Neglect

Something that my mother and I have come to accept over the years is that my father wasn't exactly a good dad, and I'm healing from the years of emotional negligence. I often find myself dwelling on the past and wishing he were a better father, but then feel guilty when I criticize his parenting as I know it easily could've been worse. I mean, he did work and brought home money. He did provide shelter, food, and some kind of bond. But he did the bare minimum, if even that.

I think of all the times when I was sad, lonely, or coming home stressed from school and he never seemed to care. My mother worked what felt like 24/7, and when she was home she had to do all the work and chores my dad didn't do. She was always stressed and would be upset when she noticed my dad didn't help me with homework or to do the dishes. Most of my childhood with him was him barely watching me while he played games on his computer, or him getting angry, yelling, and grounding me for doing something slightly wrong. I never felt like I was good in his eyes; that I was an obligation, not someone he cared for.

It makes me so mad. I think that if he was involved in any shape or form emotionally for me, I would've been mostly stable. I've adopted harmful coping mechanisms due to lack of proper parenting growing up and now I suspect of having a personality disorder (or 2), because of everything that went wrong as a child.

Does anyone else feel anger or resentment towards their parents? I'm not alone or a brat for feeling this way too, right?
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Old 11-19-2019, 08:02 PM   #2
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Smile Re: Father Emotional Neglect

My parents are both long-since dead now. (I'm a so-called "senior citizen".) But I still find myself ruminating over stuff that happened, or didn't happen, literally decades ago. So I would say, no, you're not alone or a brat for feeling the way you do. (In fact, as I recall, I replied to another thread on this topic just a few days ago.) Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives on the subject of childhood emotional neglect plus links to 4 additional articles on letting go of past hurts & coping with painful emotions:

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

4 Cognitive Distortions Caused By Childhood Emotional Neglect

6 Things Adults With Childhood Emotional Neglect Need to be Happy

5 Ways to Use the Emotions List to Heal Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2...-and-feelings/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...nful-emotions/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/culti...nful-emotions/

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Old 11-25-2019, 08:45 PM   #3
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