[January]

The day got worse. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

[Kiya]

(((((Jan!)))) what happened?

[cakeladie]

Well I have a wonderful kidney infection and did not get much sleep from Thursday to Friday morning I was up at 1:00 am on Thursday morning.

Anyway my hubby got home a little early so I thought I might take my meds early and set in for the night what the heck was I thinking.

I got a call from my daughter. Her dog was spayed and her stomach tacked down on Thursday. She went in to pick her up Friday and when she got back home the dog kennel was broken. She called me to see if it could be fixed and when the jerk boyfriend heard her on the phone with me she hung up on me because he was screaming and yelling then 2 minutes later she's calling saying he kicked her and the dog out and and it was hot and the dog needed to be someplace calm she was screaming you got to get here

Then he started throwing her clothes outside through the window and she reached in to grab some of them and he slammed the window and her arm went through the window

He called 911 and all she could think of was getting her dog to safety so she went to my grandmother's and i headed there to but mind you I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and on a Friday after you are not going fast.

She's all cut up he tried cocking her and broke her bra strap and she had no shoes on. When the police came I could already see that he was working his way back to her the longer they took to get to my grandmother's. First him and his mom said they were going to press charges then the next text was he is not then when the police officer came she would not let him take pictures of her and her injurys

I am tired and I am so sick I can't keep doing this.

[Gus1234U]

oooh, Cake~! this sounds so much like 'enabling'... she has the idea that you will fix all her poor decisions, and failed strategies. maybe it's time she had to deal with her own problems ?? as for YOU~ my goodness, after all you've been thru lately, you're gonna let yourself fall in that blender ? noooooo~

[January]

Dearest, dearest Cake, I know you love your daughter, but you cannot save her from the mess she's in with her life. She's got to do it herself. You've got to save yourself and your sanity and let her grow up and face the consequences of her actions I know it's almost impossible to do, but for her sake, you need to do it, much less your own sake. You are so special and you are loved.

Kiya, thank you for asking what happened. I am honestly too paranoid to post what happened. It was bad. I feel like I need a pseudonym for me and Belle when I post about us because people around here have computers. How they would figure out where I post is a mystery to me, but it could happen.

[cakeladie]

Gus you and Jan are right and for a while I did not accept her calls nor did I let her in but I thought things were changing but I guess I was wrong.

I did talk to the officer and I am thinking about finding someone to talk to about it but I feel strange doing that and the fact that I have to go to the doctors so much and my son sees a psychologist every week and a psychiatrist once a month the bills add up.

I believe in my heart that he will kill her just like her therapist said he would and the officer said he's a lot bigger then her.

Jan if you want to talk about what happened with belle PM me. I know people shouldn't be able to find out where you post but they do I don't know how but .....

On a funny note when the officer was at my grandmother's he looked at me and said this is your grandmother's house correct and I said yes he asked what is her name and sweet Mikey said her name is Nana it made us laugh.

The other funny thing is my husband. He is more comfortable fixing things etc when it comes to computers and iPhones he's lost. Well he has an iPhone for work. Work pays for it. My husband happens to like moons and was playing around with his phone and saw a moon and click on it. Then his phone stopped ringing. When I called it went straight to voice mail when his boss called straight to voice mail this went on all week. He would stop and look at it and see all the missed calls. So he said I think my phone is broken. Well one of his friends that he grew up with works with him and he said what's up you're not taking calls and he said it's not ringing. Well when he clicked on the moon he put everyone on do not disturb we all got a Chuckle out of that.

Kiya, Liz and Christina I hope you guys are alright

Hugs to alland thanks for letting me vent

[January]

Cake, thank you for telling us about Mikey and about your husband. That was so cute!

I know you're swamped with appointments and bills, but I hope so much you talk to someone about what you're going through with your daughter. It will really help you stick to it and validate what you're going through. Never assume things are getting better until you see really long term progress. We all love you, Cake. You are so important to us.

Today has been an interesting one. I tried out my portable dishwasher for the first time. I had to prime it and run it through cycles before I could actually do dishes. Belle is afraid of the loud pops the machine makes as it's getting ready to change cycles and let the water out into the sink. I decided to start out with the shortest setting so Belle could get used to the noises. Well, instead, I set it so that it went through every cycle! I thought the thing was never going to stop and Belle ended up hiding under a towel she uses as a blanket!

I would like to ask all of you for your advice about Belle. I know you all love her and that most of you have pets and so have knowledge of things I don't have.

As most of you know, I live on a limited income. Belle's expenses are getting bigger. I have to have her spayed soon, and the Vet will probably have to pull the two broken teeth. I also want her micro chipped while she's asleep. Her meds are about $60 per refill. Also, this special "hypo allergenic" prescription food she's on is outrageously expensive.

Belle is worth every penny I have. Please don't misunderstand. But, since Belle has so many health issues, I want to carve out money to buy pet Health Insurance for her. I won't have the money to help her if something catastrophic crops up and I don't ever want to let her down. Do you think I could at least talk to the vet and tell her that Belle needs allergy shots, instead of the expensive foods and treats?

My friend knows how to give dogs shots. I hate for Belle to need a shot every month, but this just isn't working on so many levels.

I also think Belle is allergic to the carpet in here. I can't run the cleaner with my back like this. Belle sneezes when she sniffs the carpet. So, it's not all food. I have asked if they would replace this carpet, which is probably at least 20 years old, but they won't. Even if they would allow me to replace it at my cost, I can't afford that.

What happened yesterday is weighing so heavily on my mind. The person who caused it cackled and laughed because Belle ran away. I almost lost Belle.

[lizardlady]

Jan, I understand you not wanting to post what happened, but from what you posted, do you need me to come to your house and go redneck crazy on someone?!?!? Be more than happy to having a raging, screaming fit on someone.
Jan, will your vet let you set up a payment schedule for what Belle needs? You could also look for low cost spay clinics in your area. You adopted her from a shelter/rescue, didn't you? They might know a low cost spay program. There's a vet in my area that got a grant to spay/neuter pets for $35. Some animal shelters offer low cost spay/neuter to help prevent unwanted litters. Definitely talk to the vet about shots versus the food. It can't hurt to ask. Regarding pet insurance, there's a thread in the pets forum that has some info about it. Personally, I never thought it was worth the cost.

Cake, you need to put you first. Please stop rescuing your daughter. She made this mess, let her clean it up. Someone else mentioned looking for long term changes. I agree. It made me think of something that happened with me years ago. I told someone I thought my abusive husband was changing because he had not done anything to me for six weeks. This person just looked at me and said "Talk to me when it's been six months." As long as your daughter keeps going back to this guy nothing is going to change. Next time she calls because he went after her, give her the phone number for the local DV shelter.

I'm feeling kind of punk today - tired and achey. Had plans to do some yard work and clean house. I may spend the day curled up with a good book.

[lizardlady]

Jan, this is the thread I mentioned above. The stuff about pet insurance is on the second page.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/our-...i-need-do.html

[Kiya]

Jan, I second Liz (but I'll let her do the beating up part ). We also have less expensive clinics here for spay for dogs about $35 (pity she's not a cat- it's so much cheaper). And check about other options on the allergies.

Liz, you rock!

[Kiya]

Cake, I used to volunteer at a DV shelter. The sooner your daughter gets to one, the better her chances of survival. The average times it takes a woman to leave permanently is 8. By 7 and 8 it becomes very dangerous for the woman and is a high percentage that she's ... Well... Please get her a DV number and this info. Tell her to pack a bag with necessities and copies of important documents so that it is ready for when she is. Keep it in the trunk or closet so she can grab it and go.
I also agree with you having to take care of you. Give her the tools she needs and take care of you.
Lots of hugs and support!!!

[Gus1234U]

[January]

Thank you so much for the good advice and Liz,
thank you for the link. I've figured out the cost of the insurance for five years. I'd be better off saving my money instead. At least, I think so.

Liz, I wish you could come and be redneck on the woman. I've completely lost my temper three times in my life. Each time,
it was in defense of someone else. These were life and death situations. I got that angry the other day when the woman caused Belle to run away. I had to run - er walk fast - after Belle though and it got me away from the person.

The animal shelter here offers help with spaying costs. At least they used to do it. Calling them for info is on my to-do list for next week.

No, I didn't get Belle from the shelter. She was going around and around my van and was crying. That's how she was found and my friend who has lived in the community her entire life was able to track down the story of Belle's life and abuse and how she was thrown out in the middle of a very busy highway.

Kiya, I had no idea about those statistics. What a wonderful idea about the bag. I wish I had known that when I had to escape. Great advice!

[cakeladie]

Thanks everyone for the advice and I have to put me first. I am having a lot of trouble breathing, walking and these migraines. I will get the number to give to my daughter. I also now have her address and I will call the police myself if need be.

Liz feel better I worry about you.

Jan I would look in your area for clinics that have spay clinics. I would also look into rescue groups they often times have really good connections to vets. Before we got McGee my hubby had seen him in the bushes at one of his seniors house that he does yard work for and handyman stuff. He wasn't sure about bring him home. At the same time I was at the grocery store and this lady had a cart full of cat food. I said to her wow you must have a lot of cats and she said no she's part of feral cat foundation and I told her about McGee and all the cats there having kittens. She demanded the lady's address so she could go get McGee. We kinda knew he was sick but he was very little so we really didn't want to take him away from his momma. She said he needs to go to the vet. She gave me her phone number and I said I would pass it on and I did

Ken brought McGee home the next day and if he had not he would have died. I passed on the lady's phone number and she arranged with the home owner to capture the cats and get them fixed. She also called me to check on McGee and she continues to check in on him. She told me if we could not afford his treatment that they had connections to different vets who donate their time to help animals. I did not need her help but if I could not afford his care I would have called her in a heart beat.

So there are options out there. You might also try and talk to the place you get her phone and explain that you are on SSDI and money is tight they may be able to give you a discount. If that fails write a letter to the manufacturer of the dog food. A lot of times if you do that they will send you coupons for the food or free samples.

If I lived closer I would go all redneck on your neighbor. It takes a lot to get me riled up but once I am Watch out:

So there are options out there you just need to think out of the box. And it cost a lot more to spay a female then to neuter a male. My daughter just had her dog spayed and I was surprised at the cost.

Take care everyone

Hugs.

[January]

Wow, what a great story of love about McGhee! He is one very blessed kitty to have you. That lady is also the bomb. I think I will be able to call the animal shelter on Tues. and hopefully get some good info.

A big problem is that Belle cannot be put in a cage unless they really, really sedate her. She goes crazy with sheer terror. She'll hurt herself trying to escape.

Thank you, thank you all for the great advice for Belle. Thank you for all wanting to go redneck on the neighbor. That means so much to me.

I go to my first PT appointment tomorrow and they are going to measure me for my back brace. It's in an area where I don't drive at all because traffic there is so dangerous, so say a little prayer for me or send me good thoughts. I'll leave early just in case I get lost.

I hate leaving Belle here by herself, but I really have no choice.

I love you all.

[cakeladie]

Good luck and positive vibes coming to you from California.

My daughter has a German shepherd female that was just spayed. She doesn't like the kennel either. They will give you something to keep her quiet since she's a little dog it might not be to hard. I told my daughter to go to a thrift store and get some sheets for the dog to lay on. This way kona had someplace to nice to lay on and if she throw up or had an accident or drainage from the spay she could either wash the sheets or throw them away.

McGee is a cutie but he sure can be a pain in the butt. The three weeks he lived outside and was born outside affected him. For the first year he would not go outside now he loves to be outside and will band on our door to wake us up to let him out. Then when he's done being outside he means at the door which in turn makes Sunny our other cat meaw until we get up to let McGee in. Sometimes it's a long night. It's almost like we have a toddler in the house.

We have never had has many cat toys or dog toys like we due now. I guess that's what happens when your kids grow up

[Gus1234U]

(Jan, dramamine is just right for cage panic.... )

[BlueEyedMama]

The past few days have been good ones. Much needed ones after months of my health being so chaotic that we could never make any plans or even be spontaneous. My pain level is at baseline and my weakness from the severe anemia is doing a bit better so we had a fun filled weekend. My Hubby got a job that starts on Wednesday so we filled the past few days with things we have been meaning to do for months now. Fun things. Date type things. It's been really special and I feel happy that my health remained stable enough to let us have some fun and go on some fun dates. Reminds me of when we first started dating over 20 years ago. I am truly a blessed woman.

I am thinking of all of you and hope that you are feeling as well as possible. ~Gentle hugs for one and all plus little treats for all the various pets.~

[~Christina]

Hugs to everyone !

I'm literally losing my mind we are moving to Florida in 5 days !!!

Hubby said " don't stress". Is he outta his mind ?????? Wth ????

I seriously want to sit her and respond to everyone but my brain is melting.

Love and hugs to you all

Be kind to your self :then:

[January]

Thank you, Gus. I will get some dramamine. She's already on valium and a antidepressant.

Mama, I'm so glad you've had some great dates and that things are looking happier and better.

Christina! It's so good to hear from you. I hope so much that the move goes as smoothly as possible. Hang in there. We all love you and are rooting for you.

I went to PT today. Thank you for the good thoughts and prayers. I know they helped. The place is so nice and so are the people. I didn't get my brace today. We tried it, but it made the pain worse. My therapist said the muscles aren't strong enough to withstand the brace. So, we have to work on that. She did a lot of tests and told me I need to be more realistic in my goals. I told her my goal is to get well. That's apparently not on the current agenda.

Belle somehow managed to get her nail clippers and play with them today! She let me brush her teeth tonight like a big girl!

Love you all!