[childofchaos831]

Going to be having surgery August 22nd. Something with compressed/degenerated discs, cleaning up (can't remember his word) the space where the stenosis is, and some screws for instability. L4 to S1 area.

Memory isn't too good right now, been really depressed, just got my abilify shot yesterday, and just plain overwhelmed right now...

[Gus1234U]

holding the good thought for you, Child,,,
is there anything that you can do to prepare ?

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

is there anything that you can do to prepare ?

I don't even know. It would help if I had a supportive living environment but that's apparently too much to ask...

the mother doesn't want to hear about me being in pain, ever, and instead insists on demanding that I do ever single physical task that she doesn't want to do, including getting her own soda or putting away her own food and dishes if I am home. She is not incapable. She's just a lazy narcissist who chooses to hold the fact that I have nowhere else to go over my head. That's not helping the depression.

The pain isn't helping the depression. Being subpoenaed to court for an incident that happened in September (as a witness) isn't helping anything, nor is lack of sleep. Being diagnosed diabetic isn't helping anything either. Everything is getting thrown at me all at once. I can't... I just can't anymore...

I have a sleep study Thursday night because the neuro wants to see if there is any reason my sleep is so messed up. I'm just so tired and so overwhelmed at this point, it's not even worth the effort it seems to keep trying to get ahead of the problem.

I'm having a bit of a "why me" moment, and have been for a week or so honestly... and it seems like nobody irl wants to even listen except the people that get paid to listen. My friends (if you can even call them that at this point) don't really seem to care anymore. I would just hide in my house if it didn't mean being around the mother all the time.

Sorry... that was probably more than you were bargaining for, Gus...

[Gus1234U]

not at all, Child~! i'm glad you could get it all out, and shared~ "a trouble shared is a trouble halved"..... environmental stressors DO make everything (feel) worse~! have you checked out the 'coping skills post i made ?? i'll give you the link here:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...-panic~-2.html
post #1

also, as a 'newly diagnosed' diabetes person, you might want to join our Diabetes Support thread.... some good information, and smart folks there, to help answer the questions you didn't know to ask (and your doc never offered~!)

maybe your mother is a blessing, sent to keep you out and about ? i dunno, i've become a hermit, developed severe agoraphobia, and am generally just moldering. i truly wish you could find your own apartment, if that is what you want~!

best wishes~
Gus

https://forums.psychcentral.com/disa...ml#post6189771

[Gus1234U]

[Candy1955]

Yes another day, and not really better.

[cakeladie]

Has anyone heard from Kiya or Jan? I'm worried.

My brother in law moved in Saturday only to have me make a mad dash back to the hospital a few hours later in the dark. He couldn't breath and wouldn't let me call 911. I hate to think of how many red lights I ran or how fast I was going. Skidded into the ambulance Bay screaming he can't breath. They took him right in and worked on him for over 8 hours. Ended up he has pneumonia. The hospital knew he had an infection when they released him they should have done an X-ray or a CT scan. The ER did both. I sat there watching him gasping for air it wasn't pretty. The nurse said it's like his been running at full speed for hours. I drove home in a daze and told hubby what happened and broke down. Now he is being released and we don't want him here this was my worse nightmare and now I feel bad he was going home and he's scared but lord I am sick to and people think because I don't work that I just sit on my butt all day. So we told him this would not be the best place for him. He's upset and now I feel real bad because he is my husband's brother. I just don't know what to do anymore

Take care everyone

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by cakeladie

I just don't know what to do anymore

Cake, it is NOT your responsibility to take care of everyone else! Life is like what flight attendants say about oxygen masks. You have to put yours on before you can help anyone else.

Let your husband take care of his brother or find some other solution to the problem. I know you worry about your daughter and he idiot boyfriend, but you need to set some boundaries with her yourself. Until you set some boundaries - and stick to them - your family is going to continue to take advantage of you.

[Gus1234U]

i heard that Kiya is in the hospital, some kind of medical malfeasance... i didn't hear how she's doing, sadly~

Jan had a bad fall and is all bruised up and maybe cracked her arm...

apparently it's been a bad week for a lot of people~

Cake, sometimes caring too much is a sign of not understanding...
you do what you can, and 'fate' takes care of the rest~

[lizardlady]

Maybe, just maybe I am finally learning to accept limits on what I can do. I spent Friday busting my b-hind working at my Mom's house trying to get it ready to go on the market. Went back yesterday planning to do more. I was exhausted and sore when I got there. I decided the heavy physical stuff was going to have to wait. I loaded some small furniture items I want to keep in my truck. Did a walk through of the house starting to plan what else I'm going to bring home and what I want to get rid of. Then came home and unloaded the truck and crashed for the rest of the afternoon. Giving myself kudos for taking care of me.

[Gus1234U]

good for you, Liz~!

[cakeladie]

I am sorry that Kiya is in the hospital. Sending positive vibes her way

Jan I am sorry you got hurt please take it easy

Gus you are an angel

Liz you are still my hero. But I am glad you have recognized that you have limits hopefully I will get there to

My brother in law came home today and he is lashing out on me for not letting him stay here. He doesn't get my illness nor does he recognize that he needs an attitude adjustment i am so tired it's. It funny no one came to the ER to wait with me. It was in the middle of the night but everyone knew. I should not have driven home by the time I left I had been up for 24 hours. I am just thankful I made it home before I became hysterical for the last two weeks I have cleaned downsized and organized stuff by myself.

Then to top things off my daughter moved back home. She has been her since the 5Th. This is the longest she has been away from him and you can see the change in her. She does have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Tuesday. She needs some kind of help. She's not helping much and it's a lot more work on me and we are getting on her but it's still up in the air if my brother in law is going to be using the spare room which is her old room. During the week she's using our son's room since he is going during the week. But McGee the cat is missing because my daughter brought home her big dog.

To much is going on. I need a vacation

Sending positive vibes to everyone and worry for those I missed. Gental hugs.

Oh Christina I need you to tell me one more time what's best to clean the microwave.

[Gus1234U]

ooooh Cake~!!! as much as i love to hear from you, i just want to beat your family up~!

there's an old joke i like (german descendent): what is the german word for Mother ?? (MARTYR!) surely you are laying up treasures in heaven.....

worst i've been in ages today

not only did I fall (and hit my arm on a door), but I sat their in the middle of a path for 15 minits because I couldn't ****ing move

people must have been like... waaaaa. what the **** is she doing

honestly too out of it to notice anyway

and it feels like I'm going to have a major painful evening.

oh...... joy

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

ooooh Cake~!!! as much as i love to hear from you, i just want to beat your family up~!

I will second that. Gus, you hold 'em, I'll hit 'em.

[lizardlady]

I was (am) proud of myself for being sensible over the weekend. But.... I'm exhausted today and can feel a flare building. I am so dammed sick of this! I'm tired of being tired all the time.

I'm really scared about what's coming. I work with at risk kids in the school system. This is our slow time of year. The little darlings come back in a few weeks. What the hey am I going to do then?!?!

Two years until I can retire. I don't know if I can hang on that long...

[Wild Coyote]

A warm hello to all.

I've been reading here, while not writing much.
I am in the midst of a couple of transitions, mainly with medical care. My pdoc (of 20 years) has retired. My primary care doc is also retiring this year. Some care is being placed back upon other specialists, which makes more appointments and more cost for me.

I have met my new pdoc. We have had two 1 hour appts so far, all history-taking, and it's set of C-PTSD symptoms in a major way. She suggests we can slow it all down by giving me more time in between appts.; I just want to be done with it! I am a little surprised a practitioner spends the first two hours on recapping traumatic events. She needs to know; yet, does she need to know all at once? It's a lot.... a long history of trauma. Ugh

Love to All!

WC

rant of the day

chairs that are too low

if I had it my way, I'd have a magic wand to just make all the chairs in the world a good fit

go to sit on one that's too low and it's click click click

all the time

quite clicky today as it is...