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Old 02-24-2019, 08:29 AM #1
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Default Community guidelines clarification

Hello. Iím hoping a moderator or DocJohn can help clarify and answer my questions. Specifically I am asking admin.

Iíve been a very active, contributing member of this forum for 3.5 years and have never had any trouble. Iíd like to think that Iíve been helpful and supportive of members during my time here.

However, I am now slightly unclear as to what is considered by admin to be a supportive vs an unsupportive post.

Is expressing an opinion considered not supportive, when that opinion is straight talk and meant to help provide the OP with another perspective they may not be considering? Or, when that opinion may point out something behavioral that is detrimental to that personís mental health and/or other peopleís mental health? And is a dissenting opinion from the general crowd considered unsupportive when the intent is meant to help guide a member towards a healthier response in a given life situation?

I would like to also make a general observation and mention that over the course of several years, I have found many posts on here to be inflammatory and argumentative and/or provoking an argument between members. Is that against the community guidelines?

Thank you kindly in advance for your assistance in clarifying. My aim is to better understand the guidelines and the areas of grayness.
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Old 02-24-2019, 08:59 AM #2
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

Good question.

Just my two cents. Supportive/unsupportive is very tricky concept. I personally think if someone finds other persons posts inappropriate, then itís better to report it to administration and let them to decide whatís right and whatís wring. I donít think itís up to a third party (not the author of the thread and not moderator/administrator) to decide whatís supportive and what isnít.

Some people understand supportive as giving specific suggestion in order to improve peopleís situation and some interpret supportive is giving a hug etc
Itís subjective.

Unless someone is specifically asking not to comment and is just venting, then people will give suggestions the best they can. As about specifically you golden I have never seen you being too blunt or rude or offensive or unsupportive on anyoneís threads. So if someone finds you unsupportive perhaps itís something to do with them, not you. So I again would encourage them report it instead of making judgment whatís supportive or whatís not. Let administration decide

No one here is ďdecide whatís supportive commiteeĒ except administrators.
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Old 02-24-2019, 09:08 AM #3
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

It's an interesting question, but unfortunately the answer isn't super straightforward because what one person finds supportive may be unsupportive to another. It's all very subjective, as divine said above.

I'm an admin for a large Facebook mental health group, and sometimes we have to make judgment calls. Certain things are easy to define as unsupportive (name calling, rude/judgmental comments, for example) while other things are less clear. In these cases if I receive a complaint, I'll encourage the person who made the post to take what they like and leave the rest.

Sometimes a person is looking for hugs, and sometimes someone is looking for ideas to make a change in their life. Neither are necessarily right or wrong, just different. I always find it helpful when people emphasize what they are looking for in their post so I know how to go about replying.
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Old 02-24-2019, 09:17 AM #4
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

Thanks you two. I appreciate your thoughts! And thanks Divine for mentioning that you donít think Iíve personally been unsupportive.

It is a gray area that becomes fuzzy to me, which is why I need clarification from admin on the guidelines.
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Old 02-24-2019, 01:22 PM #5
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

It *is* a gray area; we freely acknowledge that.

We look at things like, did the OP ask for "straight talk" when posting their original query? Or were they unclear about what they were seeking, advise-wise?

If they were unclear, I tend to encourage members to err on the side of being supportive, non-judgmental, and clarifying whether they want your "straight talk" or not. Some members may be in a place where they want such talk, others may not.

I don't think it hurts to ask before offering it, since we rarely know the emotional state of the individual (unless they've shared that with us in the post).

Generallly, argumentative and inflammatory behavior is frowned upon and may be against the community guidelines, depending upon the specific context. But if no one reports the thread, then it may very well never be seen by someone on the moderation team.

Hope this helps clarify this issue somewhat...
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Old 02-24-2019, 01:34 PM #6
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
It *is* a gray area; we freely acknowledge that.

We look at things like, did the OP ask for "straight talk" when posting their original query? Or were they unclear about what they were seeking, advise-wise?

If they were unclear, I tend to encourage members to err on the side of being supportive, non-judgmental, and clarifying whether they want your "straight talk" or not. Some members may be in a place where they want such talk, others may not.

I don't think it hurts to ask before offering it, since we rarely know the emotional state of the individual (unless they've shared that with us in the post).

Generallly, argumentative and inflammatory behavior is frowned upon and may be against the community guidelines, depending upon the specific context. But if no one reports the thread, then it may very well never be seen by someone on the moderation team.

Hope this helps clarify this issue somewhat...
Thanks so much, DocJohn. That does help. I appreciate your direct feedback.
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Old 02-24-2019, 01:50 PM #7
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

IMO, saying something like, "i'm an expert in this subject, and you are definitely being 'subjected'" - unless it is said with tongue-in-cheek OR some acknowledgement that one is never ENTIRELY cured and therefore may still be sensitive to discussions on the given subject (that is, pointing one finger means three are pointing back at you) - is prescriptive and unsupportive.

But IME, many people dont read past my opening statement to my "supporting" excuses and just yell at me for being unsupportive, so that definitely hinders me from responding at all. So, not sure yet how to work around that!
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Old 02-24-2019, 02:18 PM #8
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

Thanks for this question golden eve .. I too have been pondering some similar issues lately ......
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Old 02-24-2019, 02:19 PM #9
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

Una, is your first paragraph being directed at me specifically? I have stated in a thread or two that I have a lot of experience in abusive relationships, and I give advice based on my experience and also based on what Iíve read from numerous expert articles and books from psychologists on the subject. If it is directed at me specifically, I was asking admin for clarification on community guidelines, not for feedback from members on my posts, though of course Iím open to hearing it if I ask for that. And if that wasnít directed at me specifically then I have misunderstood your post because you also mention yourself in the second paragraph.
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Old 02-24-2019, 03:37 PM #10
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Default Re: Community guidelines clarification

If you dont like how i reply in your threads, you are free to put me on ignore. Then i cant.
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