Perceptions of what is supportive - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-10-2019, 12:58 PM #11
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,751
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
missbella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,751

8 yr Member
753 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive

I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
missbella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 03-10-2019, 02:07 PM #12
SilverTrees's Avatar
SilverTrees SilverTrees is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Here
Posts: 1,019
SilverTrees SilverTrees is offline
Poohbah
SilverTrees's Avatar
SilverTrees is wishing everyone peace and hope.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Here
Posts: 1,019 (SuperPoster!)

1,263 hugs
given
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive

Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
Excellent insight, Miss Bella! I particularly appreciate your thoughts on receiving feedback regarding your creative work. I could actually picture those different personas responding to your work! I like your strategies and will keep them in mind...particularly the one about being a guest in someone's backyard. Thank you for sharing!

Last edited by SilverTrees; 03-10-2019 at 02:21 PM.
SilverTrees is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-10-2019, 02:33 PM #13
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is online now
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 45,997
healingme4me healingme4me is online now
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 45,997 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
6,442 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive

Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
I like that approach

And...'ego jockeys' ..I like that expression very much. Experienced it elsewhere, yesterday to be exact. So I excused myself from the conversation Perceptions of what is supportive

I am the type to ask questions, because frankly, so much can be perceived in so many different ways, that's it's better to ask.
healingme4me is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-10-2019, 03:33 PM #14
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,310
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 80,310 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
52.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive



Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-10-2019, 06:42 PM #15
tecomsin tecomsin is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 1,636
tecomsin tecomsin is online now
Grand Poohbah
tecomsin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 1,636 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
608 hugs
given
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive

Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
Yes this is a red flag for me too.
__________________
BP 1 with psychotic features
daily: 1 mg Rexulti, 50 mg Lyrica, 50 mcg Synthroid
prn: 1.25 mg olanzapine
tecomsin is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-10-2019, 07:54 PM #16
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak Ptak is online now
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 288
Ptak Ptak is online now
Member
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 288 (SuperPoster!)

345 hugs
given
Default Re: Perceptions of what is supportive

Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
Ptak is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:04 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.