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Old 03-01-2019, 02:39 AM #1
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Default Why can't we make a thread about past members?

Im just curious as to the rationale. My thread in particular was to acknowledge the contributions of a specific member that made an impression on me, as well as other users to share how other former posters that have removed their accounts have affected them. I thought of it as a positive thread. Especially since the posts of these members will likely be lost in a sea of threads sooner or later.


I don't really see a downside to posting such a thread, but that's why i ask this question.
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Old 03-01-2019, 07:21 AM #2
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

I haven't been here long, but have seen this on other forums and as most of this site is visible to anyone I suppose if anyone said anything negative about a past member they might see it. Also is unfair as they can't respond to any negativity and would not rejoin just to do that (unless possibly unwell). They still have mh issues even if they have left.


I have made negative comments about past members on another forum, or at least inappropriate ones, and they could have seen those comments later and been pissed off, indeed I doubt I would have made them if they had still been around. That is cowardly and unfair, they couldn't have said anything about it by then and at the back of my mind I must have known that. So is maybe to protect them and anyone else from potential psychological harm.
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Old 03-01-2019, 09:20 AM #3
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar View Post
Im just curious as to the rationale. My thread in particular was to acknowledge the contributions of a specific member that made an impression on me, as well as other users to share how other former posters that have removed their accounts have affected them. I thought of it as a positive thread. Especially since the posts of these members will likely be lost in a sea of threads sooner or later.


I don't really see a downside to posting such a thread, but that's why i ask this question.
At first I didnt understand this guideline either but then I got to thinking about it....

imagine you have decided to delete your account, maybe the reason was because of some family or domestic violence partner has found you, or you are feeling psych central just isnt the place for you right now, or you have had problems with members here (theres lots of reasons why I have seen many come and go and come back again) what ever other reasons so you need to delete your account.

But then later on down the road you decide to come back starting fresh, a whole new account and bang you see while you were gone and could not defend your self others here have been talking about you behind your back.

think about times in your life when you have discovered someone you thought of as a friend had been talking about you behind your back, doesnt matter whether they were saying good things or bad things about you, the fact is they were talking about you behind your back to other people with out your permission. regardless of whether its good or bad things being said its not a good thing to find out people you trusted have been talking behind your back... if they can talk about your good things behind your back what are they disclosing about you that you have shared with them privately....

its just not a good thing to do to someone who you consider to be your friend in real life, and psych central is real people coming on here sharing their deep dark secrets they cant tell others, their feelings, memories , troubles.

most people who leave here do at some point either come back to just read or re register for a new account and try to start fresh. most that I know that have done this dont want to get smacked in the face with their past posts and how others here saw their behaviors.

my point is I discovered this guideline allows others who have left to come back if they want to and have a fresh start with out getting the cyber version of a slap in the face of their past. I know should I ever decide to leave psych central I would want to have that opportunity for a fresh start with out others talking about me behind my back.

Last edited by amandalouise; 03-01-2019 at 09:35 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 03-01-2019, 09:33 AM #4
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
At first I didnt understand this guideline either but then I got to thinking about it....

imagine you have decided to delete your account, maybe the reason was because of some family or domestic violence partner has found you, or you are feeling psych central just isnt the place for you right now, or you have had problems with members here (theres lots of reasons why I have seen many come and go and come back again) what ever other reasons so you need to delete your account.

But then later on down the road you decide to come back starting fresh, a whole new account and bang you see while you were gone and could not defend your self others here have been talking about you behind your back.

think about times in your life when you have discovered someone you thought of as a friend had been talking about you behind your back, doesnt matter whether they were saying good things or bad things about you, the fact is they were talking about you behind your back to other people with out your permission. regardless of whether its good or bad things being said its not a good thing to find out people you trusted have been talking behind your back... if they cant talk about your good things behind your back what are they disclosing about you that you have shared with them privately....

its just not a good thing to do to someone who you consider to be your friend in real life, and psych central is real people coming on here sharing their deep dark secrets they cant tell others, their feelings, memories , troubles.

most people who leave here do at some point either come back to just read or re register for a new account and try to start fresh. most that I know that have done this dont want to get smacked in the fact with their past posts and how others here saw their behaviors.

my point is I discovered this guideline allows others who have left to come back if they want to and have a fresh start with out getting the cyber version of a slap in the face of their past. I know should I ever decide to leave psych central I would want to have that opportunity for a fresh start with out others talking about me behind my back.

Yes, as I say I have done this elsewhere, and while pretty much everyone I know in real life talks about other people in some context behind their back, the trail is there for all to see online. So it's just as well that they have that guideline here I think, as yes it seems like a typical thing for human beings to do, so is a good safeguard.
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Old 03-01-2019, 09:34 AM #5
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

The guideline is there because we don't want people to speak for others, and we don't allow "goodbye" posts. And we, as a general policy, don't discuss administrative issues (such as why a member has chosen to leave) because it leads to second-guessing and to a potential invasion of privacy of members.

Your thread was seen as discussing a member who can't respond (to either explain or defend themselves, even if it was meant in a positive manner), and discussing an administrative action (the closing of an account). I will violate the latter guideline just this once and say she left of her own accord and was not in violation of any community guidelines when she asked for her account to be closed.

Sometimes people leave because they've gotten as much as they feel they can get from our community. Other times it's because of a disagreement with another member that they feel they can't work out. And still other times, it's because of a disagreement with our community guidelines or how we run our community.

In the end, we need to respect members' choices. Sometimes members have some time to think on things and come back with a different username. Sometimes they don't. We wish well for all members who've left us and we sincerely hope they find other support online that better fits their needs.
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Old 03-01-2019, 10:33 AM #6
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
The guideline is there because we don't want people to speak for others, and we don't allow "goodbye" posts. And we, as a general policy, don't discuss administrative issues (such as why a member has chosen to leave) because it leads to second-guessing and to a potential invasion of privacy of members.

Your thread was seen as discussing a member who can't respond (to either explain or defend themselves, even if it was meant in a positive manner), and discussing an administrative action (the closing of an account). I will violate the latter guideline just this once and say she left of her own accord and was not in violation of any community guidelines when she asked for her account to be closed.

Sometimes people leave because they've gotten as much as they feel they can get from our community. Other times it's because of a disagreement with another member that they feel they can't work out. And still other times, it's because of a disagreement with our community guidelines or how we run our community.

In the end, we need to respect members' choices. Sometimes members have some time to think on things and come back with a different username. Sometimes they don't. We wish well for all members who've left us and we sincerely hope they find other support online that better fits their needs.
I think it's also important to note that sometimes people leave due to privacy issues and possible domestic violence or divorce and don't want their usernames further searchable. If we make posts using their names, it sort of defeats the purpose of them deleting their account. I know it's not a perfect deletion of the user name because it may exist in responses in some places, but it is more difficult to find. If I'm trying to get away from a stalker, I don't want you even positively talking about me after I've left.

I know the thought behind wanting to make the thread is thank them, but they have left for a reason.
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Old 03-01-2019, 11:30 AM #7
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Default Re: Why can't we make a thread about past members?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
The guideline is there because we don't want people to speak for others, and we don't allow "goodbye" posts. And we, as a general policy, don't discuss administrative issues (such as why a member has chosen to leave) because it leads to second-guessing and to a potential invasion of privacy of members.

Your thread was seen as discussing a member who can't respond (to either explain or defend themselves, even if it was meant in a positive manner), and discussing an administrative action (the closing of an account). I will violate the latter guideline just this once and say she left of her own accord and was not in violation of any community guidelines when she asked for her account to be closed.

Sometimes people leave because they've gotten as much as they feel they can get from our community. Other times it's because of a disagreement with another member that they feel they can't work out. And still other times, it's because of a disagreement with our community guidelines or how we run our community.

In the end, we need to respect members' choices. Sometimes members have some time to think on things and come back with a different username. Sometimes they don't. We wish well for all members who've left us and we sincerely hope they find other support online that better fits their needs.
My intention wasn't to speak for others, but merely celebrate the contributions of a past user, as I find it rather unfortunate that the thousands of posts users have made to help people get lost in the shuffle. Additionally, I just think imo that it's good to let others know how much you appreciate them. Perhaps part of me was compensating for my inability to do so whilst they were active..

Anyways, I now know that they probably have received adoration from those they truly formed a relationship with

As always, thanks for taking the time to explain these things, and thanks for all the explanations provided by other users. I agree with most of whats been said here.
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