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Default Dec 31, 2019 at 11:17 AM
  #1
If someone says "for those who have or want to understand the disorder better" I will loose my banana's!

idk what to do. I'm so annoyed with the lack of care.
Sorry to put it that way. I do understand that everyone is volunteers etc, but the problem still remains and I'm pissed off that my Personality disorder is discredited with every non-avpd post.

Look at the posts, go back as far as you like and you will be hard pressed to find a post written by and replied to by Avies only.
You will find plenty of Avoiding stories or my recent favourite "illusions" but none of that. NONE is applicable to AvPD.

Another problem is people who come to learn about AvPD for a family member or someone who is new to the disorder reads the forum and is confused even more.
The family treats the person according to what they believe to be true...bc its in the AvPD forum after all. The advice/Information that they receive will come from those without the disorder
None of that is helpful, and if the person asks a follow up question good chance that the individual will be confused even more. The individual needs to be able to identify and if they can't identify with a non-avie the circle of confusion continues to spin
... and as a selfish thing Avies need a place especially if it has AvPD written on the door.

It's like people don't care all they care about is posting their non-avpd story bc it has the word Avoiding in it, and I'm starting to think the forum doesn't care every time I see another a non-AvPD story.
All that seems to matter is if the people are polite with their post.... but, then what's the point of the sub forum, what the point of having a AvPD forum? my original question.

I can't go on the women's forum and post something...even if I do it politely!! (male)

I cant post in the self injury forum if i accidently cut myself shaving for fear of possibly triggering someone. (I don't cut and I'm not that disrespectful.)

So why isn't the same respect shown to those with AvPD?

Yes, I'm that upset and figured this is the best way to handle it....hopefully.

__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Dec 31, 2019 at 01:32 PM
  #2
I'm not sure what you want? You want the sub forum to only be for people with official diagnoses to post? What I have seen on that sub-forum is that if you don't have an official diagnosis of AvPD, then you get ignored or roasted by those who do. No one has been open to answering questions. So others who want to offer support, regardless of Dx, do. You don't have to be bipolar to post in the bipolar sub, and so on. There are only a few subs where you have to be in that demographic to post, and they are not based on Dx.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

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Default Dec 31, 2019 at 03:25 PM
  #3
...why would I post in the bipolar forum if I don't have bipolar?
Why would someone post in the AvPD forum is they don't have AvPD?

If you asked me a question on the AvPD forum how could I answer you?
I don't have:-
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.



So you might feel ignored however if we happen to answer your question according to our PD thereis good chance that you might snap back or ignore us in return bc what we had to say isn't in keeping with your dx. See it's a balance thing for us where if we're talking to an Avie we understand them making us a little more confident in replying, plus we can back up our answers bc we share similar headspaces and experiences.

If I answered one of your question on some other PD forum and you wanted more information, I'm going to look stupid and therefore I will be pulled apart emotionally by Avie.
You might not snap back at us, but we don't know that bc we're talking from different PD perspectives.


Thanks for replying Seesaw.



__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Dec 31, 2019 at 10:18 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66 View Post
...why would I post in the bipolar forum if I don't have bipolar?
Why would someone post in the AvPD forum is they don't have AvPD?

If you asked me a question on the AvPD forum how could I answer you?
I don't have:-
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.



So you might feel ignored however if we happen to answer your question according to our PD thereis good chance that you might snap back or ignore us in return bc what we had to say isn't in keeping with your dx. See it's a balance thing for us where if we're talking to an Avie we understand them making us a little more confident in replying, plus we can back up our answers bc we share similar headspaces and experiences.

If I answered one of your question on some other PD forum and you wanted more information, I'm going to look stupid and therefore I will be pulled apart emotionally by Avie.
You might not snap back at us, but we don't know that bc we're talking from different PD perspectives.


Thanks for replying Seesaw.


Because the forum is also there for those who are seeking information. Not just for those with official Dxs. If I came to that forum, wondering if perhaps I had that Dx and my doctor was overlooking it, I might ask some questions. But as it is, yall jump all over anyone or ignore anyone who doesnt have an official Dx. Just like you are snapping at me right now.

And FYI, what you quoted is what I've chosen to share. Dont believe you know everything about someone and what they may or may not be diagnosed with.

And you know, anyone could say they have a Dx. How are you going to verify that everyone who goes in there has that Dx? And again, even when people are searching for answers the people who are Dx'd ignore them.

People might post or respond to a post in those forums bc they see that someone isnt getting any responses and want them to know they arent going unheard.

And yet I still dont know what it is that you are asking for. That only people who have the official Dx post there? That's not the intent of the forum. If you want to create a private social group then you can exclude whomever you want, I suppose, but none of the sub forums are exclusive here except the ones based on gender and age, none based on Dx.

You still havent clarified exactly what you are asking for.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 01:38 AM
  #5
This is from my opening post.... maybe you missed it?
Another problem is people who come to learn about AvPD for a family member or someone who is new to the disorder reads the forum and is confused even more.
The family treats the person according to what they believe to be true...bc its in the AvPD forum after all. The advice/Information that they receive will come from those without the disorder
None of that is helpful, and if the person asks a follow up question good chance that the individual will be confused even more. The individual needs to be able to identify and if they can't identify with a non-avie the circle of confusion continues to spin.


If you think I'm snapping at you, you have read this with anger to begin with... That also makes me think that you're being argumentive to begin with?
I'm asking for help/advice, I'm just putting it out there that there is a problem that has gone over looked

You're welcome to post there, go for it!
Just take into account the source when it comes to AvPD information and if you push us out any information given with come from those without the disorder rending any info useless.

Any information given will come from those without the disorder making it a guess and worthless.. basically lip service.
Which would be quite sad for someone newly dx or if they weren't but needed some information or if they just needed to identify first with an Avie to feel safe before they post.
(Avies aren't like others who can fill the forum with countless posts )

The forum should be for those who have the same personality, hence the reason it has AvPD on the door, plus it would stop all of this from happening, reinforcing a point

__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 08:31 AM
  #6
Hey @Snap66 just so I understand... are you saying that not enough people with AVPD post there? Or that too many without AVPD post there?

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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 08:31 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66 View Post
This is from my opening post.... maybe you missed it?
Another problem is people who come to learn about AvPD for a family member or someone who is new to the disorder reads the forum and is confused even more.
The family treats the person according to what they believe to be true...bc its in the AvPD forum after all. The advice/Information that they receive will come from those without the disorder
None of that is helpful, and if the person asks a follow up question good chance that the individual will be confused even more. The individual needs to be able to identify and if they can't identify with a non-avie the circle of confusion continues to spin.


If you think I'm snapping at you, you have read this with anger to begin with... That also makes me think that you're being argumentive to begin with?
I'm asking for help/advice, I'm just putting it out there that there is a problem that has gone over looked

You're welcome to post there, go for it!
Just take into account the source when it comes to AvPD information and if you push us out any information given with come from those without the disorder rending any info useless.

Any information given will come from those without the disorder making it a guess and worthless.. basically lip service.
Which would be quite sad for someone newly dx or if they weren't but needed some information or if they just needed to identify first with an Avie to feel safe before they post.
(Avies aren't like others who can fill the forum with countless posts )

The forum should be for those who have the same personality, hence the reason it has AvPD on the door, plus it would stop all of this from happening, reinforcing a point
So you are saying you can only post or comment there if you are diagnosed with AvPd? Then how is anybody who suspects they have it or that a family member has it supposed to get help?

I didnt miss that from your previous post. You r post jumps around and is unclear. You are still avoiding the question of what exactly you think it should be. So there should be a requirement that someone shows medical records with a Dx to post there? That means people who have questions cant ask them either.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 09:29 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Hey @Snap66 just so I understand... are you saying that not enough people with AVPD post there? Or that too many without AVPD post there?
Too many without.

People ignore the fact that it's a personality disorder. They brush clean over that with their only focus on a story that contains the word Avoiding-avoidant or avoid.
That's basically discrediting those who have AvPD, belittling us.
We don't hold ourselves with high esteem to begin with, so how you think we feel when we see that our PD is viewed as nothing.
.

__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 09:33 AM
  #9
Hi Snap, while I appreciate hearing your perspective -- and in an ideal world, I would agree with you -- our community doesn't require a person to have a specific disorder in order to post to a specific forum. We'd have no way of policing such a policy, so we don't have one like that.

I hear your frustration, though, and empathize. I wish we had more people with every disorder we cover in each group, but we can only work with the people who find us...

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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 09:44 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
So you are saying you can only post or comment there if you are diagnosed with AvPd? Then how is anybody who suspects they have it or that a family member has it supposed to get help?

I didnt miss that from your previous post. You r post jumps around and is unclear. You are still avoiding the question of what exactly you think it should be. So there should be a requirement that someone shows medical records with a Dx to post there? That means people who have questions cant ask them either.
Sorry about the jumping around on my post.

Perhaps a drop down or a sticky that brings it to the attention that it is a Personality disorder and not a place to run to with your Avoidant stories.
What I mean by avoidant stories is if someone has avoided a person/place or situation they automatically run here to post. They don't post bc its AvPD related... they post bc there only bc they know the forum as Avoidance,.
They ignore /forget or don't care that its a Personality disorder forum...and their is a huge difference between Avoiding and AvPD.

People can post there but the mods should also be in on it to remove any posts if them deem misplaced to this forum such as...
"illusions that others can hear my thoughts"

Avies as factual people... things like this have no bearing on AvPD and should have been moved else where long ago, but no here it still sits even after I brought it to the attention on a moderator.

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Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 09:53 AM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66 View Post
Sorry about the jumping around on my post.

Perhaps a drop down or a sticky that brings it to the attention that it is a Personality disorder and not a place to run to with your Avoidant stories.
What I mean by avoidant stories is if someone has avoiding a person/place or situation they will run here to post. They don't post bc its AvPD related, they post at the sub-forum bc they only know the forum as Avoidance, ignoring/forgetting or what ever that its a Personality disorder forum.
Big difference between Avoiding and AvPD.

People can post there but the mods should also be in on it to remove any posts if them deem misplaced to this forum such as...
"illusions that others can hear my thoughts"

Avies as factual people... things like this have no bearing on AvPD and should have been moved else where long ago, but no here it still sits even after I brought it to the attention on a moderator.
I see what you are saying now. Too many people who just are having issues with avoidance versus with actual questions or concerns about Avoidant PD. Yes, then I agree with you, a sticky or something that clarifies this is not about the behavior of avoiding but the actual personality disorder and the struggles of living with that, managing that, etc. It is definitely different.

Perhaps as an analogy: when people say they are triggered and really they are just upset by something. It's not the same as being triggered and having PTSD, which means I'm having a panic attack or flashback or other PTSD related reaction. That's like people coming on the AvPD forum for avoidance issues versus for AvPD.

That makes sense, and I'd support a sticky that makes that distinction.

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Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 10:15 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
Perhaps as an analogy: when people say they are triggered and really they are just upset by something. It's not the same as being triggered and having PTSD, which means I'm having a panic attack or flashback or other PTSD related reaction.

Absolutely.
Their panic attack cannot be measured the same as PTSD bc we are talking about two different ignition sources. I might have said that wrong but hopefully you get the gist of it.

People withdraw and avoid bc of Depression too.
If a person is diagnosed with Depression then their avoiding story will be better received and answered by those who share disorder simply bc those people will recognise, understand the pain in themselves making them better equipped to give personal and helpful advice. Just an example

AvPD is rare....and everyone avoids a person , place or situation, If "avoiding was avoiding" then everyone would have AvPD.

HUGE Thanks for understanding Seesaw

Hopefully a mod who reads this thread can make a ruling either way?

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Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Jan 01, 2020 at 10:27 AM
  #13
Sorry Dr John, I just saw your post.
Can a sticky or some kind of drop down be used bringing some kind of attention to the nature of the forum?

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Diagnosed: AvPD.

It’s never alright. It comes and it goes.
It’s always around, even when it don’t show.
They say it gets better. well I guess that it might.
But even when it’s better, it’s never alright.
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Default Jan 02, 2020 at 09:03 AM
  #14
Thanks for the suggestion --- Done!

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Default Feb 09, 2020 at 11:39 PM
  #15
Welcome to the online world!

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Default Feb 09, 2020 at 11:52 PM
  #16
I’m sorry. I was very rude up there.
I’m with you, indeed.
I think people should be very responsible of what they write and where they write, even online, when we have our faces safe.

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Default Feb 14, 2020 at 11:17 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snap66 View Post
Too many without.

People ignore the fact that it's a personality disorder. They brush clean over that with their only focus on a story that contains the word Avoiding-avoidant or avoid.
That's basically discrediting those who have AvPD, belittling us.
We don't hold ourselves with high esteem to begin with, so how you think we feel when we see that our PD is viewed as nothing.
.
Hey Snap66, I haven't been a regular in that forum, although I was definitely diagnosed with it. I have noticed the forum seems to have had less posters lately though. I also realise I probably appear ''atypical'' online anyway. If you met me in real life you would probably think I have Avpd, however since the ''Experts'' in my forest often tend to get things wrong I'm pretty confused anyway and …. I don't view Avpd as nothing. I have found nobody wants to help in real life though (professionals)…I also think it often presents very differently in males and females (sometimes anyway).. I know several females who have Avpd who are married (mostly happily) but fewer males. So maybe that would make ''recovery'' harder. Sorry if all this is rubbish

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