[rep97]

So I had a discussion with the P-Doc this morning. I talked about the panic attacks. And she told me how to control them. But then I told her I am not sure these are even panic attacks because what I am experiencing during these is intense shame and feel people know something shameful about me(related to my traumatic incident) and I have to hide from people and go back home. We also talked about disturbing dreams or dreams that resemble nightmares. She then agreed I might have PTSD. I corrected her and told her "complex PTSD" and she agreed.

She then suggested I take anti-depressants. I told her I have tried citalopram and it didn't help and she said either that or something else might bring down the PTSD. I then told her what about therapy to reprocess the traumatic incident. She said the thing about that is every time you talk about it you re-traumatize yourself. To which I disagreed but didn't say anything.

We ended the session with her saying "think about an anti-depressant or something" so maybe talk next time.

So should I take anti-depressants. The last time I tried citalopram it made me feel extremely dry all over my body and my sexual desire went to very low and had problems reaching climax which lasted for years after even stopping taking citalopram. So I am frightened about it. And the next question is... is this a diagnosis? Am I diagnosed with complex PTSD now?

[venusss]

Whenever you try meds or not, drugs alone cannot cure PTSD. They just suppress the symptoms somewhat.

[Open Eyes]

Hi rep97, it doesn't sound like your meeting with the pdoc really gave you answers, but instead just more questions.

I understand how an antidepressant can produce side effects that challenge a person when it comes to the sexual side effects. Some have no desires at all, yet others get very aroused and have no way of relieving it which is very uncomfortable.

What this pdoc said about therapy can be true, it can retraumatize if not done carefully. An antidepressant does not stop the challenge with intrusive memories either. However, what I have read is that antidepressants can help with the cell repair in the hypocampus.

When I think back on my own experience thus far, the therapy did help me, however, the therapy I had was mostly my therapist listening and helping me slowly gain not only the validation I needed but to also make an effort to calm down and work through whatever was coming forward in the PTSD cycles I was experiencing.

In all my time here listening to others who have been challenged, never once did anyone come forward saying that an antidepressant stopped the intrusive memories. I had tried an antidepressant and it did not help me. I thought about going on Zoloft however, I did not want to experience the very uncomfortable sexual side effects as years ago when I was on it, I was often aroused and frustrated because I could not do anything to ease it. I would not have minded if there was no arousal, but how it affected me was simply constantly very uncomfortable.

My therapist never told me how to feel either. My therapy was more of my gaining trust to feel safe with opening up and talking about my challenges and traumas and seeing what emotions came up, often sit with these emotions, acknowledge them with my T and then work through whatever I had faced in the trauma that was unresolved in me.

What I have noticed about working with a T is how individuals tend to "fear feeling", well, it is important to get past that and just see what emotions surface instead without a feeling of being judged somehow or being ashamed. That is how one can be retraumatized IMHO. Shame, guilt about one's self for whatever is challenging them emotionally needs to slowly take a back seat to where the individual just works through these confusing trapped emotions instead.

Most of the individuals I have met in my time here had experienced some kind of trauma and they all discribe a history of not having a presence there for them they could not only confide in but instead expressed dysfunctional behavior patterns around them which usually led them to feel "unworthy" and how they needed to accept these often negative messages.

When it comes to childhood traumas it is better "not" to ask the patient to try to attach their adult emotions to it right away. People are often "afraid" to remember, and that is more about being concerned about how it will affect them emotionally. Well, when it comes to children it is best to work on things that happened and talk about the topic in general. A person does better if they do what a child "always" does, "ask questions about why and what it means and how this does happen to many people not just the patient".

Most patients are really afraid to talk about childhood traumas because of being "judged" and also worrying about how a T will be confused about what ways they ended up thriving in spite of whatever took place. Most patients feel "damaged" because of what happened to them, so they tend to "hide it".

The important part of "healing" is not about whatever a patient might have done that was somehow wrong, it is understanding how the patient only reacted based on whatever they knew how to react at the time.

Whatever one's self beliefs are is what needs to finally be "healed" and that can take a while depending on what kind of history an individual has.

OE

[MotownJohnny]

Diagnosis is in the eye of the beholder - it is whatever they think you have, because they are no objective, measurable, quantifiable markers known at this time for MI.

There are a lot of anti-depressants, you certainly could try different ones to see if they work and what side effects you have.

Psychiatry now is all about the pharmacology, not many of them work the psychoanalytic methods like in the old Freudian days. So I'm not surprised a psychiatrist might downplay the value of therapy - they think cure comes from the pharmacy and get heavily influenced by aggressive Big Pharma sales and marketing pressure.

Yes, therapy can most definitely help.

[JaneC]

It's interesting isn't it, what psychiatrist say. My original diagnosis was not right, but even at that time my psych agreed with me that meds were not helpful(after I titrated off ad's without telling him and nothing changed!), and that therapy was definitely what I needed.

It wasn't until meeting my current therapist and seeing him for a few months that I questioned my diagnosis, he told me what he thought it ought to be(CPTSD, MDD in remission) and then met with my psych and had him change my 'official' diagnosis.

I know that talking is helping, slowly, but it really is helping. It has taken me more than 18-20 months to get to a place of trust with my therapist, but even that process has been helpful.

If it were me, and a diagnosis were important to me(as you are asking)....then I would just ask, point blank, no maybe's, please give me a definitive diagnosis please.

[hellboy]

Mental health diagnosis is an ongoing process. It's not like getting a brain scan and finding a tumor. Citalopram is on of the worst with sexual side effects. Escitalopram, however, is the same basic med with the junk that causes side effects taken out (lexapro). Right now she's probably giving you a PTSD with a complex specifier as the "complex PTSD" diagnosis hasn't made it into the DSM yet.

Hellboy

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by rep97

So should I take anti-depressants. The last time I tried citalopram it made me feel extremely dry all over my body and my sexual desire went to very low and had problems reaching climax which lasted for years after even stopping taking citalopram. So I am frightened about it. And the next question is... is this a diagnosis? Am I diagnosed with complex PTSD now?

It's hard to adjust meds with c-ptsd. What you take is different from person to person and only helps the symptoms.

If a pdoc says you have something, that's a diagnosis. They're cautious about calling it c-ptsd, though, because that's not an official diagnosis in the DSM-5, so they'll just call it ptsd.

[hellboy]

Look, the extreme side effects you experienced are really uncommon. There are plenty out there that are safe and will likely be helpful. I've been on a lot of them. Try it, because you've got to get your symptoms at least partially stabilized in order to be able to make therapeutic progress on other fronts.

[hoping2smile]

I have complex PTSD and am in EMDR therapy. It is difficult but it is helping. I was being treated increase dosages of antidepressants which really didn't improve things much. Currently, I am in antidepressants, Xanax for panic attacks, Vyvanse for my ADHD, Vyacog for memory issues and just started Prazosin, which is supposed to help calm down the incessant nightmares that I have been having. Last night was the first night and I got 4+ hours of sleep with no recall of any carnage dreams- only 2 pleasant ones.

Read Fran Shapiro's book "EMDR", it is very informative about the process. You don't have to be traumatized.

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Hi rep97, it doesn't sound like your meeting with the pdoc really gave you answers, but instead just more questions.

In all my time here listening to others who have been challenged, never once did anyone come forward saying that an antidepressant stopped the intrusive memories. I had tried an antidepressant and it did not help me. I thought about going on Zoloft however, I did not want to experience the very uncomfortable sexual side effects as years ago when I was on it...OE

I've never heard of anti-depressants being used for intrusive memories. Anti-depressants are for preventing depression. I have severe depression and I'm also on Zoloft (no sexual side effects though). It seems to work well for my depression, but it doesn't stop the intrusive memories or any of the c-ptsd symptoms.

[Disorder7]

Originally Posted by SkyWhite

I've never heard of anti-depressants being used for intrusive memories. Anti-depressants are for preventing depression. I have severe depression and I'm also on Zoloft (no sexual side effects though). It seems to work well for my depression, but it doesn't stop the intrusive memories or any of the c-ptsd symptoms.

ADs have helped my panic attacks, which are a symptom of my PTSD.
They never help my depression, perhaps because I'm bipolar and ADs target a different area of the brain.

Everyone is different.