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Old 01-14-2018, 12:35 AM #1
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Default Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

Hi all,

Anyone ever experienced Traumatic Transference? I just learned the definition. My understanding is that it is simply a transference where your therapist takes on the role of your abuser. (As in, you feel as though your therapist is your abuser). This can bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy if the therapist is unaware of this unique dynamic and is unable to control their own counter-transference reaction to your suspicions and negative transference.

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Old 01-14-2018, 12:41 AM #2
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

i went through something along that line at one point but thankfully was able to talk to my therapist about it and work through it over time ... its a very hard place to be in though

do you think you can let your therapist know?
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Old 01-14-2018, 04:22 AM #3
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

For me the hardest thing, is knowing what is real abuse and when it is my mind just twisting things and drawing parallels, that might not be there.
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:43 PM #4
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
Hi all,

Anyone ever experienced Traumatic Transference? I just learned the definition. My understanding is that it is simply a transference where your therapist takes on the role of your abuser. (As in, you feel as though your therapist is your abuser). This can bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy if the therapist is unaware of this unique dynamic and is unable to control their own counter-transference reaction to your suspicions and negative transference.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz
Interesting topic and I can see where this could happen. Especially with someone who is a CEN victim. Not being heard or validated can be very traumatic for some. Though I'm not sure most T's will pick up on that, so may be a good idea to discuss it with them.
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Old 01-15-2018, 10:11 AM #5
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

Yes, and I had to have therapy for receiving bad therapy that only further traumatized me at a time when that's the last thing I needed. Truth is, just because a person gets a degree and gets to sit across from someone with the title that is supposed to mean they can be trusted and know what they are doing and how to help patients, doesn't mean that individual is actually any good at helping patients and being a good therapist.
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Old 01-15-2018, 10:23 AM #6
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

I am retraumatized by my therapist. She is lying to me and I am seeing red flags all over the place. I am utterly destroyed, again. She has failed.
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Old 01-15-2018, 10:34 AM #7
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

Oh ((HD)), can you make a list of the ways she is failing you? What do you want and feel you need that she is not helping you with?

I have found that a lot of my triggers are "emotional" and I usually get triggered when I end up feeling as though my emotional needs are something I should be ashamed of having. The therapist that helped me the most gently showed me how I tended to talk fast and cry at the same time not allowing myself to sit with how sad/upsetting the experiences I talked about with him really were.

When it comes to healing, it's important to allow one's self to sit an actually "morn" whatever they lost when they were traumatized. The last thing someone struggling with PTSD that is a condition caused from trauma or several traumas, is to sit across from a therapist that judges and invalidates them.

You say you are seeing red flags, can you share them and list them so others here can help you?
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Old 01-15-2018, 05:27 PM #8
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

It is a long story. At this time I am unable to write as it is too triggering but I hope to vent it out shortly. I will try my best. Ultimately it doesn't matter what I write or what advice I may be given because you are not active participants in the relationship. This is a heartbreaking experience, I sure hope she is not being malicious.

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Old 01-16-2018, 08:23 AM #9
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

Yes I have experienced abuse, invalidation and harsh judgement from a therapist I paid for
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Old 01-16-2018, 08:43 PM #10
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Default Re: Traumatic Transference - When your therapist becomes your abuser

My therapist and I had a heart to heart. She insists she is not lying. And in all honesty, even if she was it isn't malicious, it might even be considered most therapeutic. In todays session she made a big step in making me feel safer. This felt like betrayal but feelings are not facts. This is certainly a retraumatization but it is different because there is nothing I know for a fact aside from her lying.

Everyone lies. Doesn't mean they are malicious.

I am going into this full bore hoping to be met with trust and safety.

Thanks,
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"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
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