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TheUrOther
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Default May 26, 2019 at 03:36 PM
  #1
People with PTSD have been taught harsh lessons about the illusion of safety. Many of us learn these lessons later in life; tragically, some of us learn quite early.

Being born from abusive, neglectful parents who themselves were abused and suffered other traumas, I never learned about the fairy-tale of "safety": my mother actively disabused the belief out of me; my father was too damaged himself to relate it to me. As such it never occurred to me to think of safety as "real", just like someone who was never told about the tooth fairy wouldn't understand the idea.

The problem occurs when not only does everyone else believe in safety, but that belief is critical to the mental health of the person. My very existence disproves this idea, and I naturally react to the world as if safety doesn't exist. To those who fervently believe in the religion of safety, my behavior is active blasphemy - frightening in its promise, and enraging in its implied (yet completely unintentional) insult.

So of course they're going to hate me! In the Church of Safety, I am the anti-christ, a living embodiment of rejection in what they believe. I'm not consciouly doing anything to these people; I'm just behaving as the world has proven itself to be - and how "healthy" people refuse to believe it is.

The "distortion" attributed to PTSD isn't really an actual distortion - it's simply the realization that safety doesn't exist. If anything, the belief is the unhealthy distortion - except society is so founded on this belief, that the collapse that would ensue upon mass rejection would be worse than the damage of belief. Except to sufferers of PTSD, of course - but society has chosen to sacrifice us instead of facing the truth.

The thing is, I have no idea how to fake it. I didn't think anyone actually took it seriously until adolescence, and it didn't occur to me that that was the reason people hated me until now. I have no idea how to even *pretend* to believe in safety; I don't fully understand the concept. So I have no idea how to "fit in" with people who believe. I'll never be "perceived" to be normal because my disbelief in safety affects my very way of thinking. How am I supposed to operate in a society that beliefs as a matter of course something that I don't understand and can prove to be untrue?

P.S. This might invalidate my other thread in this subforum. Feel free to delete it.

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Anonymous32451
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Default May 27, 2019 at 07:14 AM
  #2
I was taught one thing about safety growing up:

say no to strangers (which was an ironic thing to learn, seeing as I was never aloud out as a child), so never got the chance to use it, anyway.

not really helped me in my later years though. it's not exactly given me much to go on, and if anything, made me more weary of people
 
Anonymous44076
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Default May 28, 2019 at 12:34 AM
  #3
"The "distortion" attributed to PTSD isn't really an actual distortion - it's simply the realization that safety doesn't exist. If anything, the belief is the unhealthy distortion - except society is so founded on this belief, that the collapse that would ensue upon mass rejection would be worse than the damage of belief. Except to sufferers of PTSD, of course - but society has chosen to sacrifice us instead of facing the truth."

I live with PTSD and have done since childhood. I do not agree that safety does not exist. Hypervigilance can certainly occur as a result of unmanaged PTSD but that is not the same as the world actually being unsafe every moment of the day. And the hypervigilance does indeed fade as the PTSD is treated and managed. Provided I use good judgment and take steps to protect myself, I do find safety each day.

You said society has chosen to "sacrifice" people with PTSD. That is a false assertion likely stemming from paranoia and psychosis. Nobody has tried to sacrifice me. When I reached out for help with my PTSD, it was provided. And it is something I continue to work on in order to manage it. That is my responsibility. I do not blame the rest of humanity for it. That would not be logical or reasonable since the majority of humanity does not know I exist.

I can tell that you are deeply unhappy and I am very sorry for it. I think you need medical help in order to address your paranoia. By definition, assuming that people who have never met you (or indeed the entire world) are out to get you is paranoia. That is a legitimate mental health problem and needs to be addressed by a doctor.

Please do not attribute this paranoia to PTSD. I have lived with PTSD for a long time and I know plenty of others who live with it; it does not mean that other humans are trying to destroy us. We know that so we work on our responses rather than blaming others for our struggles.

I sincerely hope that you will seek the treatment and support that you need. Take good care of yourself.

Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 28, 2019 at 12:49 AM..
 
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Default May 28, 2019 at 05:22 PM
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