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#1
It's my mother and my step-father. Of all the places in the country they could have downsized to, they moved a block away from my apartment.
I live in a small city and it's been impossible, despite my best efforts, I have run into them several times. I have always managed to spot them before they spot me ( thanks hyper-awareness) and flee. I'm afraid I've become a hermit for this reason, and I'm really sick of it. I want to go about my usual business and if I run into them and they approach me, I want to handle it well. But these are very manipulative people who know all my buttons, because they installed them. I've moved a lot in my life, and I think this is one time a geographical cure is warranted. But we just can't- rents have sky-rocketed since we took this apartment and the money just isn't there to beg, borrow or steal. And to be honest, we like it here. This is the longest I've lived in any one place and I don't want them to have the power of chasing me away from the first place I really call home. Any suggestions on what I could say or do if and when I run into them? They are seniors and I doubt they could or would physically restrain me. Though I wouldn't put it past them to try - I think I'm strong enough to physically break the grip of either of them. It's the psychological power they still have over me that I worry about. |
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Anonymous35008, cptsdwhoa, gothicpear, Skeezyks
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leomama
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#2
I don't know as I have any specific suggestions for you with regard to this. But what you're really talking about here is personal boundaries. So here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of establishing, & defending, personal boundaries. Hopefully some of the information in these articles can be of some help:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...hy-boundaries/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-tips-...iveness/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...amily-members/ Also, family therapist Kati Morton has 2 videos on her YouTube channel on the subject of personal boundaries. Here are links to those videos: https://youtu.be/gBpDwbTsLlE https://youtu.be/KhW4g9urdXQ __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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cptsdwhoa
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#3
Thank you, Skeezyks. It was very kind of you to track down these links for me. I will read and view them. I really appreciate the help.
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Skeezyks
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#4
First, thank you Tortie for your bravery and honesty in asking for help. I'm still learning to do that and I appreciate knowing that others are asking the questions I'm too afraid to ask (if any of this makes sense).
Secondly, thank you for the links Skeezyks. I can definitely use them. |
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Anonymous52314
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