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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 12
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#1
Being abused as a child by my father would cause me to be extremely quiet. So much so that my teachers were convinced that I was developmentally disabled. Mentally deficient was the term applied to student files. Also being a quiet child caused me to get picked on and physically abused by my classmates. I would report this abuse to my teachers, however, they felt I was "making up stories". The only way I could cope with being abused by everyone was to abuse my younger brother. I was very violent with him. I would attack him for fun. It made me feel empowered. Around the age of 8 years, I had been through too much and I tried many times to hang myself in my bedroom closet. I lacked the upper body strength to put my head into the makeshift noose. After several falls and getting hit on the head with the clothes line bar, I gave up.
While all this was going on, I had lived in a catholic community and I felt my family religion wasn't right. The thing everyone always said was, "God only gives us what we can handle." Three herniated disk, metal hip, dislocated nose, 15+ years of trauma, CPTSD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression. I don’t believe for a moment that there could be a virtuous god that intended this life for me. One of my therapists' said more of the same thing, "That God must think highly of you because they say He only gives us what we can handle. After everything you have been through He must think very highly of you!" I felt defeated when my therapist said this. Almost like she had given up and turned to God to help me? The next week I was transfered to a new therapist. |
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Anonymous41006, KYWoman, LifelongLoner, seeker33, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
I'm sorry you had to endure all of this. What you wrote brought back some difficult memories. I don't believe in god myself. And I would certainly have no interest in seeing a therapist who told me god must think I'm special. At least from my perspective, I think it may have been for the best that you were transferred to a new therapist. I hope you're finding being here on PC to be of benefit.
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#3
I totally feel you on this! ... ... I used to believe, but that all went down the toilet when I realized the message pretty much was that there's an all powerful entity that could change the course of evil and suffering - especially that of helpless, innocent children - but chooses not to ... What kind of sick effer is that?
It also irks the hell out of me when people try to talk to me about "free will" ... It may have been my parents and siblings free will to torment and abuse the hell out of me on a daily basis, but it certainly wasn't mine ... And, being totally powerless in that sick family's dynamic and to not have an all powerful god rescue me? ... Then to also expect me to "forgive" them for all the evil @#$%! they did to me? ... Um, yeah ... Eff That Too! |
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KYWoman, Stone92
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Milwaukee
Posts: 6
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#4
Oh, dear.
I could write a long book in response to this. But briefly -- IMHO "God must love you to give you this..." or "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" is a stupid and clueless response theologically and psychologically. I can't believe a therapist said that to you!! UUGGHHH!! Were you able to find a new therapist? Only you can decide whether faith -- any faith -- is helpful to you or harmful to you. Good luck!! |
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phobosdeimos
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