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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
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#1
Hi all,
I am writing an essay about my trauma and my lack of faith in humanity as a result of that trauma. I am not going into great details, but I am retraumatized now and feeling hypervigilant and angry. My body is going through intense reactions to the flooding of memories and I am isolating / avoiding responsibility to stay in my "safe place." I need to write this essay as a means of healing. It is time. My professor alrrady gave me an extension and I have missed it. Any suggestions for how to get through it? Thanks, Hd7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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Anonymous43949, Anonymous55879, Fuzzybear, Open Eyes, seeker33
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#2
I wish I had some useful suggestions. Please accept my hugs and I hope someone else will be able to offer suggestions.
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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
10 2,626 hugs
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#3
Fuzzybear, you have made my day. I WUV YOU!
__________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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#4
Could this be that you are writing something very personal and struggle in that your professor will be seeing it and determining it's value?
I found that a lot of the time I struggle with sharing things about myself because of feeling exposed to being criticized, misunderstood, or that it will somehow be used against me. That's because I have experienced just that in my past. I often have had to really push myself to talk about my own traumatic history. |
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HD7970GHZ
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
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#5
Are you in therapy? Doing this without the help of a trauma therapist to help you process the memories will only cause retraumatization not healing.
Obviously the fact that you have missed deadlines shows you that this is not a project to just do for a professor & is a long term process not just something to put in an essay for a professor. You need to be working through the feelings these memories being up with a T not doing it on your own. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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HD7970GHZ
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#6
Is this a want- as in helping to heal or a need- as in a school requirement or grade?
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
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#7
I was trying to heal. I thought I was ready to write the thing, turns out I was not.
Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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Anonymous55879, eskielover
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#8
You could be ready but this us not the way to go about healing. Trauma healing takes more than just writing it out. It takes professional help to help you PROCESS what happened. Just writing it out does not achieve the necessary processing. Actually just writing "the thing" is like picking the scab on a sore. If you don't have the healing medication of processing along with picking the scab it will actually get worse not better.
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
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Posts: 1,776
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#9
Quote:
I agree. I do need to heal from this trauma and process through traditional trauma therapy. Considering my trauma took place in therapy - and the fact that I have continued to seek help in therapy despite being re-traumatized numerous times - I would say the problem is with the healthcare system and their cultural and systemic problems when faced with someone like myself. I am considered a liability client. No one wants to go near me. No one wants to protect me. Because I know what they do behind closed doors and I also aim to expose it. This is threatening to them, and so I have experienced further traumas and abuses and mistreatment. It is a heartbreaking reality. Unfortunately, I really don't know what else to do but keep trying therapy. And I am. Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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eskielover
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#10
I have found that not all therapy is created equal at least here in the US. I had numerous T's between 1994 & 2010 when I finally found the best T's ever..private & my Group DBT leader who is now my private T. But I can see how one can experience so many bad ones that the assumption can easily be that they are all bad & traumatize their clients. Glad you are continuing to look for the help you need
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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HD7970GHZ
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
10 2,626 hugs
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#11
Quote:
Otherwise it is just deny, deny, deny and blame and shame the victims. Breaks my heart. I have managed to flesh out half my essay. I have chosen to continue writing about the trauma by focusing on the loss of faith in humanity versus the details. Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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eskielover
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#12
What kind of industry do you mean?
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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#13
My advice to you is just do not shut yourself up, please. Just make it worse. If you want to really solve the problem - declare it. I advise you to find a psychologist and write together about problems. Create your profile on the site and every day lead the page. Consult with the psychologist. Writing is a good method to throw off stress. I think it's worth a try.
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