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Old 03-23-2019, 12:39 PM #1
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Unhappy RE: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

I recently received a summons for Grand Jury Duty and promptly completed the questionnaire and mailed it back directly.

A day or two later I was reviewing my responses to the questions and can't believe I answered the "have you ever been a victim of a crime" question with a "NO" response!

I did e-mail the clerk this weekend and told her I'd misread the question and needed to amend my response to "YES".

I didn't go into too much detail but mentioned the domestic violence, incest and abuse I grew up and lived in for 33.5 years, as well as the attempted sexual assault that happened to me about 4 years ago in the laundry room of the place where I was living at the time.

That is still how strong the compartmentalizing and avoidance (detachment/dissociation) response still is - even with years of therapy under my belt!

I hope they don't press me too much on any of it - as in ... How the hell did you forget all that and answer it wrong?

My greatest fear is getting triggered so badly that I end up in a state of total decompensation again.

I've worked so hard to achieve a semblance of "normalcy", but then something like this happens!

It makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to completely overcome all of my Adverse Childhood Experiences and be able to function as a "whole" adult.

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Old 03-23-2019, 01:09 PM #2
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

(((Pfrog))), I am sorry you have been triggered, triggers don't have to mean you are failing. Also, what is VERY possible is that you probably read that wrong and thought is asked "did you commit any crime". That is actually a rather common question on applications, even for housing in some states and often comes up in work applications too.

You probably just answered "NO" because you never committed a crime. Rarely does an application if ever ask if you have been a victim of a crime. When you reviewed your application or questionaire, you got to see what that question really was instead.

They ask that question because they want a juror to be as objective as possible so they don't end up sympathizing with the victim in the case.

My lawyer explained to me that when it comes to picking the jury the opposing side will be really looking for anything in a juror that might compromise how that juror will empathize or relate to my case. So for me that meant no animal lovers, definitely no horse owners or anyone that might sympathize or identify with me.

So, the lawyers may see "yes" and imediately decide you are not going to work out for what they prefer to have as a juror. Never means you are a bad person because you happen to have been a victim.
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Old 03-23-2019, 02:13 PM #3
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Unhappy Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

I appreciate your response, Open Eyes!

I've been wondering if that is how I misread it too.

I got called to be on a regular jury where I used to live a couple of years ago and my psychologist was kind enough to write a letter asking for me to be excused because of my Complex PTSD (and concerns that if a case involving child abuse came up that it could trigger me and be detrimental to my recovery process).

I thought about calling and asking her for that again, but since Grand Jury Service is a little bit different I thought it might not hurt for me to try to participate in the process.

I know I can be objective on other stuff, but definitely would not be able to if it involves crimes against children.

I hope I'm not making a mistake by going.

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Old 03-23-2019, 03:30 PM #4
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

I think you know your limits, just remember that people don't always end up getting selected for the jury and the first part has to do with the lawyers asking questions and coming to an agreement on which individuals they will choose out of the pool of individuals asked to do jury duty.
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Old 03-23-2019, 08:43 PM #5
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

Grand jury duty I would think would be a little less stressful but still could be triggering.

This helped me understand the differences in jury duty requirements:

Quote:
A grand jury helps determine whether charges should be brought against a suspect, while a trial jury renders a verdict at the criminal trial itself. Put differently, a grand jury hands down an indictment at the beginning of a case, while a trial jury decides guilt or innocence at the very end
I actually got myself out of jury duty just after I moved here where I didn't know anyone..
.I immediately got jury duty request within months. I wrote a letter & explained that living alone in the country & not knowing who is relatet to who in this small community I was not willing to put my life at risk serving on a jury. Also let them know I was on disability for depression, anxiety & was dealing with PTSD. Lol....I never heard from them again. Guess they permanently took my name off the list. I have gone to court & the DA even handled a criminal case for me. Also supported our DA in several animal (horse) cruelty cases. But serving in a jury.....whole different can of worms in a small town.
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Old 03-24-2019, 09:52 AM #6
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Unhappy Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

Thank you for your response, eskielover!

I know grand juries are a little different, but they still may excuse me once they find out I have Complex PTSD as a result of what I grew up in - and I will let them know upfront that there is know way I can be impartial (and could even end up triggered and go into flashback mode) if a case involving child abuse comes up.

It would be nice if I was able to not be triggered because I might be able to help a child, but it is what it is and there isn't too much I can do about it.

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Old 03-24-2019, 10:38 AM #7
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

It is definitely NOT worth the risk. I just hope they are wise enough to understand & not minimize your situation.

I wouldn't want to take the risk either. I wouldn't even take the risk when I was called for jury duty & the risk I was fearful of was a lot less probable that yours. You have worked so hard to get to where you are.....risks of changing that are NOT worth it. I am sure if they don't grasp your situation you can follow it up by giving them a letter from your pdoc or T
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:08 PM #8
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

(((((((( Pfrog ))))))))
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Old 03-27-2019, 04:25 PM #9
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Default Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

Look into your state laws. I notified the court in writing of my P-TSD and OCD. I explained why I wouldn’t be a good jury member because i couldn't give the court my proper attention. I also sent a copy of my medical records. So i was put on a list where they wont contact me for 7 years minimum.
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Old 03-30-2019, 12:16 PM #10
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Red face Re: Living With Complex PTSD & Navigating Every Day Life ...

Thank you all so much for your affirmations and support!

My psychologist did write and send a letter for me and I have been excused.

This Complex PTSD can be so tricky with my mind.

I often doubt my own perceptions and that's why it is good to hear others affirm that what I am feeling is accurate and real.

Again, many thanks!

,
Pfrog!
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